The Consequences of Uncertaintity
by DivineDescent
Summary: Sam decides to start a prank war and pulls Castiel in with unexpected consequences. On a journey to decide the right path to take, Dean and Castiel come face to face with the consequences and horrors of their actions (or inaction). Sort of spoilery for the whole series. Destiel
1. Chapter 1: Let The Games Begin

**Warnings and all that stuff:** I don't own Supernatural or any of the characters. This is rated M for the usual (Although, I kind of like plot more than porn). Also, there is a major char death in a later chapter, but I don't do sad. I don't like reading sad and I don't like writing sad, so I promise it's not that bad.

**A/N:** I began this story during that stupid poll, but if you're like me, I never want to hear another mention of that thing. I did like where this story took me, so I decided I had to finish it. The poll is only mentioned in the very beginning as a catalyst for what transpires next. It is not the center of the story and is never mentioned again after the first few paragraphs. I hope you like!

This story is already written and only has to be typed up, so updates will be pretty quick to follow.

_* For anyone following Broken By Betrayal, I haven't abandoned that story, but I seem to be having a hard time publishing that because it went to a pretty dark place. I thought I'd take a small break from it and write a slightly happier story (although this one won't be all kittens and sunflowers either). After this one is done I'll get back to the other, promise._

Chapter 1: Let The Games Begin

"You have to be kidding me. Do these people have nothing better to do than….than this?!" Dean looked at the computer screen, eyes wide in exaggerated horror. "I'm gonna freakin' kill Chuck." Castiel and Sam both laughed. "Hey man, you should have seen the first round, you would have loved that." Sam teased. "I'm sure I don't want to know." He shrugged Sam off and walked to his duffle bag and pulled out a copy of 'Busty Asian Beauties'. He flopped down on the bed and began thumbing through the pages.

"Chill out Dean. It's just a game." He looked at Sam over the magazine and thought about telling him to 'blow him', but considering the context of their conversation, he thought the better of it. "I knew they put me and you together like that, but now me and him? Really?" Dean glanced over and watched Castiel hit the 'vote' button on the screen. Sam doubled over in laughter as the words 'Thank You For Voting!" appeared on the screen.

"Cas, what the hell, man?!" Castiel looked over at him and couldn't hide his grin. "You're being silly, Dean." Dean put the magazine down and stood up. "You and me… together… together, Cas…as in TOGETHER-TOGETHER. Get it?!" Sam walked over to the bed and picked up the magazine, easily noticing the two year old copy date before putting it back down. "You didn't react this way to the whole Wincest thing, Dean. What's the real problem here?"

"Well that was just ridiculous, like you and me would ever… But this is… it's…" Sam interrupted his stumbling speech with a grin. "It's what Dean? Could 'POSSIBLE' be the word you're searching for?"

"Shut up Sam."

"We can't vote again for another hour, Sam." He addressed the comment to Sam, but looked straight at Dean when he said it, watching as Dean rolled his eyes in annoyance. Sam shook his head. "Hell no, I won't stand for that. I'm voting on my phone right now, you can vote on yours too Cas." Sam pulled his phone out and pressed the internet button.

Dean threw his hands in the air and walked back to the other side of the room. "Screw you both!"

Sam looked at Cas and stifled another chuckle. "Nope, afraid not. That was round one…"

Dean turned around and glared at Sam. "Thanks for that Sam. Really, I needed that image in my head." Sam realized that maybe he'd taken the joke a little too far and backed off. Dean rubbed the bridge of his nose as he walked into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

Castiel closed the laptop and looked up at Sam. "I think we may have upset him." Sam smiled at the obvious statement. "Yeah maybe, but my guess is that part of that image isn't as disturbing as he pretends it is." Cas studied Sam's face, confused. "What do you mean?" Sam just shook his head. "Nothing Cas, don't worry about it. You're completely oblivious anyway."

"Sam, if you're suggesting…" Sam held his hand up to stop him. "I need to hit the library and check out a few leads in town. I'll be back in a few hours." Sam headed for the door, but Cas jumped up to stop him. "You're leaving me here alone with him after you made him mad at me?" Sam laughed. "He's not mad at you, he's mad at me and it's stupid anyway. Trust me, you'll be fine. Just do the finger to the head thing and put him to sleep if he's too much of a bitch when he gets out."

After Sam walked out the door, Castiel opened the computer back up and looked closer at the screen. 'Destiel' – that's an odd word, he'd never heard it spoken before. He typed it into the search bar like he'd seen Sam do countless times before and clicked on the first result on the list. He gave a nervous laugh as he read the words in something called a 'fan-fiction'. "No wonder Dean's not happy." He said the words out loud, not realizing that Dean had come out of the bathroom and was standing behind him.

"You think, Kojak? I tried to tell you." Dean laughed when Cas jumped in surprise. "Sorry Dean, I didn't realize…" Dean put his hand on Cas' shoulder and grinned. "Relax Cas, I'm not really that uptight. I was just screwing with Sam. I already knew about that stupid poll. Granted, I hoped Sam wouldn't find it cause I knew he'd start this shit." Cas rolled his eyes and slowly shook his head. "You do realize that you're little tantrum made him think this is true?" He nodded to the screen, looking more than a little disgusted.

Cas noticed that Dean suddenly lost some of his good humor, shrugging his shoulders. "Don't worry about it. Sam's just trying to be funny. He knows it isn't true. Did he say anything else before he left?" Dean looked more than a little upset, although he was trying to play it off. "Not really. He did insult my observation skills, which is utterly ridiculous. I spent over two thousand years observing Earth as part of my duties." Dean turned around so Cas wouldn't see him stifle a laugh. "I'm sure your observational skills are impeccable, Cas." He lied once he composed himself enough to speak. He silently wondered what Cas' definition of 'observe' was, considering how much of humanity he just didn't get, even after all this time and everything they'd been through.

Dean got up from the table and pulled a couple of beers out of the small cooler on the floor. He handed one to Cas who immediately lifted it to his lips. That simple movement gave Dean an idea. He sat down at the table, moving it closer to the angel. "So Cas, that story that you read while I was in the bathroom; it looked like you didn't like it all that much." He took a swallow from the bottle, searching Cas' face for reaction. When he didn't get one he continued. "As someone who observed humanity for over two thousand years, you must have some thoughts about it?" Castiel was looking at him with such an odd expression that Dean almost didn't have the heart to continue – almost. "I'm just kind of curious how you feel about strangers writing that kind of stuff about you, an angel of the lord and all. You must have some opinion of it."

Cas took a deep breath and looked directly at Dean. He knew this had to be a trick question, Dean's way of pulling him into his and Sam's little game. He desperately wanted to feel that he was finally 'one of them', but Sam and Dean could be incredibly immature when it came to these stupid games. Whatever he said could and would get him into trouble. He decided to go with the academic answer, although he knew full well that wasn't what Dean was asking. "It was well thought out and very imaginative, but there wasn't much of a plot and quite a few spelling errors." Cas hoped that Dean would let it go with that. He was suspicious, bordering on paranoid, after Sam had tricked him earlier.

Dean smirked and rolled his eyes. "That's not what I meant Cas." He slowly moved his hand to Castiel's knee, giving it a gentle squeeze, keeping his eyes trained on the angel. "What did you think about what we were doing in the story?" He slowly moved his hand up Castiel's leg, leaning in slightly, still watching as Castiel's eyes grew wide and his mouth fell open.

Dean sudden fell forward into the chair once occupied by the angel, now empty. "Why did you do that Dean?" Castiel asked from across the room. Dean laughed quietly and stood up, making his way across the room. The poor angel looked terrified. "Well damn Castiel. If I didn't know better, I'd think you were scared of me." Dean grabbed the angel by his tie and pushed him into the wall, placing his other hand on Castiel's chest, fingering playfully at the small buttons. Again the angel disappeared.

"Are you 'screwing' with me too now, Dean?" Castiel asked from across the room, this time using the small table as a barrier between them. Dean laughed and started to move towards him again. "Well, I'd like to, but you won't stand still." Dean was enjoying this little game of cat and mouse a little too much.

Cas put two finger in the air as a warning. "If you don't stop, I will put you to sleep like Sam suggested." Dean raised an eyebrow, knowing he'd lost the round. "Just so you know, conspiring with Sam against me is never a good idea. It will get you in trouble every time." Dean turned and sat down on the bed. He picked up the remote and began channel surfing. He rolled his eyes up at the angel who seemed to be in shock. "Remember this next time you think Sam's crap is funny."

Castiel huffed before he disappeared with a flutter of wings. Dean could have sworn he heard the angel curse him as he left. Dean laughed into the empty room before turning his attention to the TV.

"Why must you and your brother act like infants all the time?" Sam jumped, dropping the pile of books he was carrying and let out a gasp as Castiel appeared directly in front of him. "Damn Cas, don't do that. You scared the crap out of me." He leaned down to pick up the books, trying to hide his amusement at the level of flustered that was rolling off the angel. "This isn't funny Sam. Do you have any idea what he just did?" Sam stood up, biting his lip to keep from laughing. "Considering how ruffled your feathers are, I can only imagine."

"My feathers are not ruffled, Sam. You can't ruffle something that has no physical form." Sam shook his head and led Castiel to the table he was using as a make shift office. "So, what did he do?"

Sam listened to Castiel's story, thinking that Dean's behavior ranked somewhere between inspired prankster level to just plain mean, considering how you wanted to look at it. Dean had to know that being that aggressive would freak Cas out. Sam gave Cas a look that said two things. The first was that he felt bad for the poor guy, but the second was an assurance that this was far from over.

"Okay, so if it's a war he wants, it's a war he'll get." Castiel turned away huffing. "Sam, I do not want any part of your ridiculous war. No offence, but Dean…" Sam laughed. "What Cas? You afraid of him or something? Trust me, he'll be expecting retaliation: Be disappointed if we don't. What we have to do is hit him with the last thing he'd expect."

"Since he's expecting us to retaliate, than not retaliating will be the last thing he'd expect. I say we go with that."Sam saw the logic in that, but brushed it off as no fun at all. "Cas, trust me. You doing nothing is probably exactly what he expects. I'm the nice one, remember. I wouldn't tell you to do this if I didn't know it would be okay. So, here's what you're gonna do."

Cas listened to Sam's plan with unmasked horror on his face. "Relax Cas, it serves him right. Anyway, he started it, remember." Cas shook his head at Sam. "Okay, but you better hope there isn't an angel blade laying around because you two will have an awful hard time explaining to the motel manager why there are charred angel wings in the motel room."

**Please review and let me know what you think. I love writing Destiel and need your feedback to tell me how I can do it better. That and feedback makes me happy. Thanks guys!**


	2. Chapter 2: A Little Too Far

**Chapter 2: A Little Too Far**

"Dean, I've been thinking." Dean didn't even flinch at the sudden appearance of Castiel, having gotten used to it over the years. "Yeah, with Sam's help, I'm sure." Dean's attention remained on the TV screen. Castiel walked over to the bed and sat down mojoing the television off. "Hey! I was watching that." Dean pressed the button on the remote but nothing happened. Castiel opened his hand, revealing the two AAA that once powered the small device. "I need you to listen to me." Dean threw the useless remote down and turned to the angel, noticing the nervous look he was presently wearing on his face.

"Okay, fine. Be warned, I am expecting whatever crap Sammy sent you to do. These prank wars can get pretty bloody Cas, you really shouldn't let him put you in the middle." Dean folded his arms over his chest and waited for Cas to speak.

I'm being serious Dean. Sam has nothing to do with it. I just wanted to answer your question truthfully so I went and read the rest of that fan fiction stuff." He looked down nervously, lips pursed. Dean smiled and couldn't help feeling bad for the poor guy. He could smell Sam's stink all over this. He gave Cas credit for attempting to pull whatever this was off, but knew there was no way Cas was gonna be able to go through with it. "So… What'd you think?"

Cas looked up slowly, he sensed that Dean doubted his ability to 'play with the big boys' and it made him all the more intent on going through with it. He couldn't wait to see that obnoxious smirk leave Dean's face. He turned to Dean and tilted his head slightly, letting his eyes lock with Dean's. "I found it rather interesting, actually. I think I would like to try it after all." He started to move closer to Dean, laughing internally when Dean swallowed hard, his eyes growing wide in more surprise than fear. "Um Cas, whatever Sam told you to do…" He jumped up from the bed just before Cas reached him, but Castiel calmly stood up and walked around the bed to stand face to face with Dean. "I told you, this has nothing to do with Sam, just me and you. You wanted to do this, didn't you? You were the one who started it, right?"

Dean stepped backwards until his back was pressed against the wall, nowhere left to go. Castiel moved against him, placing his hands to the wall on either side of Dean's waist. Their chests nearly pressed together. Deans breath became heavier, his chest rising and falling in a panicked rhythm. "Cas, I was just playing a joke man." The words were weak, almost breathless. Castiel tuned his head; slightly bring his lips to Dean's ear. "Are you sure about that Dean?" The words came out a broken whisper, _not at all what Cas had intended_.

Dean felt his hands move to Castiel's chest, but instead of pushing him away, they pulled the angel closer. "Cas I…" Castiel didn't know what to do. This wasn't what he expected. Sam said… _The script… He just had to keep to the script…. _He moved his hands from the wall and placed them on Dean's waist instead. "Tell me to stop, Dean." His lips gently brushed Dean's ear this time causing a soft breath to escape Dean's mouth. _Definitely not part of the script._

Dean lowered his head and ran his lips gently along Castiel's jaw line to his ear. "Look at me Cas." But Castiel was afraid. He shouldn't have done this, shouldn't have listened to Sam. He felt Dean's hand slowly raise his chin, eyes meeting like a magnetic pull. "Listen Cas, if you are just doing this because Sam said it would be funny, you do need to stop." Cas pulled back slightly.

"I'm sorry Dean. Sam said that you would 'freak out' and… I'm sorry. I didn't realize." His words trailed off and he lowered his eyes in a sad expression of shame. He started to take a step back, but Dean held him in place, not wanting to lose the closeness. "Sam manipulated you Cas. He knew exactly how this would go." Dean lifted Cas' face back up. "Listen, you've heard me and Sam talk about 'tells' in poker, right?" He waited for Cas to nod. "Well, there are 'tells' when it comes to this too."

"Dean, can we please sit down. This lack of personal space is making me extremely uncomfortable." Dean immediately released his hold on the angel, a little embarrassed by the tight grip he didn't realize that he had on him. "Sorry Cas. Just don't go disappearing on me, we need to talk about this. I need to talk about this." Cas stepped back and took a seat on the bed, closing his eyes, cradling his forehead in his hand. "Why is it that all of a sudden you, of all people, want to talk about feelings?" Dean placed his fingers to his temples, rubbing as tough he were developing a headache. He chuckled a little before looking back at Cas. "Honestly, if it were anyone but you… I'd just go for it. You know, actions speaking louder than words and all. But I don't think you get it, even now."

"What am I not getting, Dean? You think of me like a child, but I'm not. No, I'm not human. That doesn't mean I'm a complete moron. While there are things that you just can't comprehend about me, there are many things I don't understand about you. I just don't…" He took a breath and looked down at his hands. "I do understand this. I just don't know what I should do. I don't know what the right thing here is."

"Will you just trust me to take the wheel? I'll stop the second you say." Cas closed his eyse, wishing he could restart this whole day. "It doesn't matter now, does it? Whatever I say, whatever I do… everything will change." Dean could see how upset his friend was. He frowned, realizing that Cas had answered his question even if he didn't realize it himself. "Hey, how bout we go out for a few beers or something? Just hang out, have some fun?"

Cas breathed a sigh of relief. "I'd like that very much." Dean could see the angel visibly relax. "Just do me a favor okay; lose the holy tax accountant look." Dean dug through his bag and pulled out a pair of jeans and a soft, black button up shirt, handing them to Castiel who eyed them questioningly. "Take 'em. They shouldn't be too big, just give it a try. If anything, they have to be more comfortable."

As soon as Castiel closed the bathroom door Dean dialed Sam's number. "You are a complete dick, Sam. He trusted you." …. "No Sam, that's not what he wants." …. "I did and I'm sure he told you all about it. I was trying to play it off as part of our prank war, which worked until you convinced him to do that." …. "Don't give me that! You knew exactly how that would go." …. "No Sam. Leave it alone. I won't push him or let you push him either." …. "I know that, which is the only reason I'm not gonna kick your ass, but stop trying to help and worry about your own sex life – or lack of one." …. "Bye, Sammy, gotta go."

Dean put the phone down and watched as Castiel walked out of the bathroom. The clothes were a little too big, but nothing that couldn't be fixed. "Gee Cas, if I didn't know better, I'd think you were almost human." Dean felt a pang of guilt in his stomach even before the sentence was out of his mouth. Cas looked down self consciously at the odd clothes then back up to Dean. "Come here, you need to tuck that shirt in and put on a belt." Castiel nervously walked over to Dean. Just yesterday there wouldn't have been a moment's hesitation. It was ridiculous how one little joke could mess everything up. More than anything, Cas just wanted to disappear, fly off somewhere to think. But Dean had asked him to stay, so he would. That's always what it came down to after all, anything for Dean. There was nothing he wouldn't do for Dean, to make him smile, to just be with him. Cas wondered what that even meant.

"Man relax, I'm not gonna try to do it for you. Just tuck the shirt in and put this on." He handed Cas the belt and walk over to the cooler to pull out another couple of beers. The bar was walking distance so they didn't have to worry about driving. This seemed like the perfect night to get completely wasted and try to forget this whole damn mess. He turned around and smiled at Cas who was all put together and looking pretty nice. It was funny how a change of clothes could completely change perception. He no longer looked like some super-powerful angelic force. He didn't look like Castiel - angel of the lord, untouchable and inhuman. Instead he was just Cas – _his_ Cas. "Much better. Lets's go." He was instantly hit with another pang of guilt at the thought. He shook it off, handing Cas the second beer as the two walked out the door.

**Please review and let me know how I'm doing so far! Thanks for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3: Who The Hell Is Fred?

**Chapter 3: Who The Hell Is Fred And What Does That Have To Do With Anything?**

Dean watched Castiel on the dance floor trying way too hard to not look like he'd never danced with a chick before. It was almost painful for Dean to watch, but he'd encouraged Cas to get out there when the girl had asked. He had to give the guy/angel kudos for trying. It was also nice to see him looking like he was actually enjoying himself, even if it wasn't exactly what Dean had hoped for. At least he knew the score now.

"So, you gonna sit here nursing that drink while your friend gets all the action or would you like to dance?" Dean turned around in to come face to boobs with a pretty blond. "Sorry sweetheart, I don't dance." He brought the glass of whiskey to his lips and downed it in one shot. She gave him a disappointed look then slid into the booth next to him. She leaned in close and ran her fingertip across his hand. "We could always just sit here and make him jealous."

Dean moved his hand away and smiled at her. "No offence, but I'm just not interested." She laughed and sat back, looking out to the dance floor. "Yeah, I get that. Just so you know, he looks at you the same way when you're not looking."

"Yeah, so I've been told." He rolled his eyes. "That's just something we do. Doesn't mean anything apparently." She smiled at him and moved to the dance floor, cutting in on the giggly brunette that was draped over Castiel. The brunette almost tripped on her way off the floor, the victim of one too many cosmopolitans mixed with too high heels.

The blond laughed as she put her arms around Cas and leaned in, moving to the music. She lifted her head up so she could whisper in his ear. "I think your friend's bored over there all alone." Cas looked up at Dean who quickly lowered his gaze to the empty glass, calling for the waitress to bring him a refill.

This is stupid, Dean thought as he tried to ignore the growing anger he was feeling. He knew it was jealousy, but whatever. He didn't have to sit here alone. He could pick up any one of these chicks if he wanted to. Maybe he would. Truth was, he really just wasn't in the mood tonight, but he would definitely be back tomorrow night-maybe. He wished the waitress would hurry up with his refill already.

Castiel turned with the blond, so he was facing away from Dean, not wanting to see the unhappiness sitting there. Unhappiness that he'd caused. He didn't want to be dancing or whatever this was, but Dean had told him to and it was kind of nice, actually. Why couldn't he just restart the whole damn day? He could though, and he knew it. He could go back, tell himself not to listen to Sam. Make the whole mess go away. Then why didn't he? He simply kept dancing until the song ended. When it did, he pulled away from the blond, but she pulled him back in. "Sometimes change is a good thing Castiel. Quit being stupid."

Castiel moved away from her and walked back over to Dean, sliding into the booth across from him. "Let's go someplace else, Dean." Dean put the glass that the waitress finally brought over to his mouth and rolled his eyes to Cas as he took a swallow. "Sure you wanna leave your new girlfriends behind? Or maybe I can give you the room key and let you, Blondie, and Tipsy over there go have some fun." He winked at Cas, dropping his glass to the table a little too forcefully.

Cas huffed, not wanting to do this right now. "Dean…"

"Look, I get it. That's why I brought you here. I needed to know for sure. Go. Have fun. Don't worry about me. It's actually nice to see you loosen up a little." Dean smiled, but the smile didn't reach his eyes. There was only anger, frustration and hurt there. Cas grabbed Dean's hand. "Look at me. Tell me what the hell you want Dean. You told me to dance with that girl, so that's what I did. What do you want from me?" He let go of Dean's hand, composing himself, trying not to sound angry. "Take the damn wheel already. Stop lying for once and just tell me what you want me to do." Dean raised an eyebrow, a little shocked at Cas' language.

"No, I won't because I don't have any doubts now. I told you I'd stop as soon as you said and I meant it. You may not realize it, but you told me to stop back at the motel room. You don't want what I do, Cas. It's obvious. Do you even understand that you like women?" Castiel just kept getting more and more confused by the second. "You like women too, Dean. What does that have to do with anything?" Dean laughed and shook his head. "Meg, Daphne, these chicks tonight… Don't you get it? You are into women, not men, not me. Just let it go, okay."

"For you, because you wanted me to. You gave me money to pay a woman for sex. I didn't want to. I tried… for you, because it was what you wanted. I danced with that girl tonight because I thought that's what you wanted me to do." Castiel grabbed Dean's glass and absentmindedly took a drink, quickly emptying it. "Dude, you totally deep throated Meg. Don't even think about blaming me for that one." Dean motioned for the waitress to bring them two more drinks.

Castiel was getting frustrated now. "Fifty thousand demon souls, Dean. I saw that video and I just… It wasn't really one of my best moments, it just happened. I can see past the meat suits, Dean. You remember what they really look like, don't you?" Castiel's voice was close to a growl now. "That had nothing to do with attraction and everything to do with what I was allowing myself to become. Another sign that I was either too stupid or too blind to see. You can be incredibly shallow at times, Dean. Just the fact that I did that should have made you suspicious of me. Yet you never questioned it, as a matter of fact, I recall you offering me an hour alone with her."

Dean nodded. "Your right, I never questioned your actions. Must be because I'm just a shallow jerk. What other reason would there be? Certainly couldn't be that I was so much in…" Castiel cut him off. "I never called you a jerk." The waitress sat two glasses on the table and frowned at them. "Guys, the bartender asked me to tell you that if you think this little discussion may come to blows, you need to take it outside." Dean apologized and promised to lower the volume. "Thanks. Look, not my business, but you are being pretty loud, so it's your own fault I heard. But really, this is a stupid thing to fight about. I'll leave now." She blushed before walking away.

Dean was unmoved by her words. He didn't care if she thought it was stupid. It was important to him. "You called me shallow. It's the same freakin thing in human speak." He did lower his voice a bit. "Speaking of shallow; try explaining Daphne."

Castiel was taken a little aback. "I didn't know who or what I was, Dean." His voice was softer, more hurt than angry. Dean gave Cas a victorious grin. "Exactly, no memories, just instinct."

"I don't understand." Castiel was unsure what Dean's point was.

"Left to instinct alone, you choose Daphne, not Fred." Castiel shook his head. "I don't even know who Fred is, so how could I choose him?" Dean just huffed. "Fred is a character from Scoo… Never mind, that's not the point. The point is that you always choose a girl."

"Dean, Daphne saved me, she cared for me, helped me when I didn't have anyone else. When I didn't deserve it." Cas lowered his head. He didn't want this conversation. Didn't think there was a point to it, but if Dean needed to dredge all this crap up, he would go along.

"You don't marry someone because they care for you. You marry someone because you love them, are attracted to them." Dean took a drink of his whiskey, not sure why he was wasting his time trying to explain all this. Caring for someone probably was Castiel's definition of love. "Dean, I didn't understand those things, even as Emanuel. She knew I didn't, but she cared for me anyway. My awkwardness and oddities, they never mattered to her. She didn't try to change me or force me to be her definition of human. She accepted me for what I was."

And there it was. All Dean's fears and doubts rolled out into one simple sentence. "But I don't, do I? I push women and booze on you, make you wear normal clothes. I do try to turn you into my version of human." Cas started to argue, but Dean stopped him. "It's true and you know it. You need to stay the hell away from me, for good. Fly off to where the hell ever you go and stay gone. Trust me; you don't ever want to turn into my version of you as human."

Dean slid out of the booth and threw some money on the table. Cas watched as he walked out the door, too confused to even bother trying to stop him. His mind couldn't help but return to that night he'd been trapped in the holy fire. The only difference was that this time, Dean didn't look back.

**Thanks for reading! Please review, feedback is what keeps me happy!**


	4. It's Not Such A Wonderful Life After All

**AN: I feel like such a bad person. I said this would be updated quickly, but it took me forever. I'm sorry. This time of year is so hectic and I've been running around non stop, from Christmas crafting to music recitals, it's been so busy. I'm so sorry. Thank you so much for being patient with me and I promise I will update quicker. Thanks for the reviews. (AntiIncognito, your review made me cry. thank you so much. I just hope the rest of this story will live up to your praise.)**

**Chapter 4: It's Not Such A Wonderful Life After All, Is It Dean Winchester?**

"You just gonna sit here and let him walk out on you like that?" The blond called the waitress over as she slid into the booth with Castiel. "Bring us a couple shots of Jose, second thought, bring the whole bottle." She looked at Castiel's frown and shook her head, smiling up at him. "Trust me Cutie; nothing cures heartache like a bottle of Cuervo."

"You know good and well that I don't have a heart, Maggie, therefore it cannot possibly be aching." There was coldness to his voice and iciness in his stare as he finished off his glass of whiskey. "This is the second time I've watched him walk away from me, but this time I don't deserve it. What I feel is not ache, its anger."

* * *

Dean watched from across the street as Castiel sat and drank with the blond he'd been dancing with earlier. He hadn't told Cas, but he knew she was an angel, his own kind. Cas wasn't meant to stay here. He would just destroy Cas too, like everything else he touched.

He took a drink from the flask he carried in his pocket and walked back to the motel. He hoped that Sam was already asleep so he didn't have to talk about it, or explain why Cas wasn't coming back. That, and he had an overwhelming urge to punch him in the nose.

* * *

"So Mr. Heartless, why haven't you 'flown off to where the hell ever it is you go' then?" Cas took a drink of the golden liquor and looked up at her. "Because I don't understand." His words were sharp, yet laced with something else she couldn't place.

"Cas, when humans have feelings for someone ant that other person doesn't recipicate, it usually ends the relationship completely. Most of the time it's just too awkward to go back. Humans don't handle rejection very well, your human especially." She poured herself and Cas another shot and slid his over to him.

"I offered to recipicate, I think maybe I do. I just don't know. But if it's what he wants, what he needs, then I will." She gave him a sad smile and let him continue. "I do care for him, Maggie. I want to be with him, I would die for him - I have died for him. I don't understand why that isn't enough all of a sudden."

Maggie pulled his hand to her and drew his eyes up. She was about to tell him something that she knew he wouldn't like hearing and tried to lighten to blow a little with softness. "Because he is Dean Winchester and your best will never be enough. Don't you see Castiel; the more you give, the more he will want. When there's nothing left for you to give, he will discard you like yesterday's trash. That is what he is, what all human's are."

Castiel pulled his hand away from her, his instinct was to defend Dean, even now. "You don't know him. Your entire understanding of him comes from the five seconds it took you to rub your vessel all over him, just to be sent away. He's not like that." He moved to pick up the glass, but stopped. What was he doing sitting at a bar with this angel, wanting nothing more than to drink the pain away?

"Yeah Castiel, he is. You just can't see past the fog in your head. Cas, you have to know that you don't belong here. This place will destroy you, he will destroy you. He's come pretty close to doing that already." She looked into his eyes and grabbed his hand again, softer this time. "Come home with us Castiel. You are an angel, not some hairless ape's do-boy."

Castiel snatched his hand away with force, causing her glass to spill. "Do not call him that. He hasn't done anything to destroy me; I do a pretty good job of it on my own." This time he picked up his glass and did take that drink, relishing the burn as it slid down his throat.

"No Castiel, he is poison, even he knows it. That's the real reason he walked out that door. He knows exactly what he'll eventually turn you into." She tried to keep her voice steady, keep the anger from her voice, but she cared for Castiel, didn't want to see him hurt. "We all see what's happening to you. I know that deep down, you do too. You are my brother, Castiel. You belong with your real family. If you stay here, you will become exactly what even he fears the most."

Castiel was confused again. This was beginning to become unreasonable. Why did everyone think they knew what was best for him? "What are you talking about?" Between the alcohol, the loud music and people yelling, Castiel was finding it harder and harder to hold his temper in check.

"2014 Cas. He told you not to change when he got back, but did he ever tell you why?" She didn't wait for the answer because she already knew. Dean had told him all about their respective personality changes, but he never mentioned the way it all ended. She refilled his glass and continued, keeping him drinking, hoping to make another point later. "He will destroy you, Cas… literally. To that, there is no doubt, even to him."

Castiel just stared at her. How did she even know any of this? "We changed all that. It won't happen that way now. I realize that you all think I am too close to humanity, but it is beyond reason to believe that I would ever allow myself to become the image he witnessed." Cas may have argued the point, but he knew that she was right when she said that Dean believed it. Dean and his stupid guilt complex was half the reason everything in his life always turned to crap.

"Oh Sweetie, you're already half way there and can't even see it." She pushed the almost empty bottle over to him. "Go ahead, have another drink. Drown your problems in liquor like he does. Better yet, the way those girls over there have been eyeing you, you'll be well on your way to following in his footsteps on that too. Liquor, women, lying, swearing, wearing his clothes…. He's already begun to remake you in his image."

Castiel pushed himself out of the booth, giving her a hard glare. "Stay the hell away from us Maggie. This isn't your business. She laughed, standing up herself. "That's right, Cas. Run back to him. Just do yourself a favor: Visit the new and improved 2014 and watch as the wonderful Dean Winchester knowingly and willingly sends you to your death, even after you hand him that heart you so adamantly deny having." Castiel turned around, but Maggie yelled after him. "It's not you that's heartless, Castiel. It's Dean Winchester that lacks one. He's the one who's already so dead inside, so riddled with guilt and self loathing, that he infects everything he touches. The details may have changed, but in the end it will always be the same. Dean Winchester will destroy you."

Castiel slowly turned to her, his eyes glaring with rage. "Next time I see you Maggie, it will be to end you. Do not doubt me on that."

* * *

"So, your little temper tantrum was about 2014, am I right?' Castiel appeared directly in front of Dean. None of it was about Meg or Daphne, or those women at the bar." Castiel glared, his fists clenched. "You purposely picked a fight about nothing to offer yourself an excuse to evade the real issue; like you always do." Dean studied his face. He saw the anger, but knew Cas wouldn't really do anything about it. "I told you to stay away. I wasn't kidding. Hell Cas, you don't even know what's good for yourself anymore, But I'm not. You did everything you could for me, now let me do something for you. Go home Cas." Dean looked over at Sam to make sure he hadn't woken up. The last thing he needed was Sam putting his two cents worth into the conversation.

"Don't worry about Sam. We won't be here long enough to wake him up. I don't need his backup on this one anyway. " Cas put two fingers to Dean's head and they were instantly transported to August 3rd, 2014. Dean steadied himself from the surprise trip and looked around. He was quiet for a few moments, his thoughts overcome by the clarity of the sky and brightness of the stars. It was almost as though they were standing in the middle of the universe, surrounded by beauty, yet he could see city lights just off in the distance."Where are we?" His head was still lifted to the sky as he asked the question.

Castiel took a few moments to look around himself, before he spoke. "Maggie suggested that I take a trip to 2014, trying to prove that I should do as you ask and leave. So I did." Dean finally lowered his head and looked at Cas. "This is what you saw? Everything looks so perfect here, like a picture. The air is… it smells clean and crisp. I feels like, I don't know… it's just really peaceful." Castiel couldn't deny that he was right; he just hadn't expected Dean to pick up on it so quickly.

"No, Dean. I first went to the 2014 that exists if I stay with you. It's much different. This is what the world becomes if I leave and return to Heaven." Dean raised a questioning eyebrow to Cas. Cas realized that Dean thought it meant that he was right. This world seemed perfect.

"Keep in mind Dean that appearances can be very deceiving. Evil hides best behind the mask of peace and serenity." Dean smirked. "Whatever you say, Yoda." Dean was still smiling, but something about the look on Cas' face worried him. Suddenly the unnatural stillness became a little eerie, but he just shrugged it off as the power of suggestion. "So what? We're starring in your own personal version of 'It's A Wonderful Life'? Real cute, Clarence."

Castiel refused to give Dean the satisfaction of responding to his sarcastic remarks, knowing it would only hinder the point he was trying to make. Instead he simply continued to explain, keeping his voice as cold and emotionless as he could manage. "You are dead here Dean. Sam is locked up in an institution. He has no memories of his life at all; he's just a drooling, empty shell." He finally had Dean's attention. "I kept going. He never recovers, dies at the age of 82, covered with bed sores, wearing a diaper." The revelation had the exact effect that Cas was hoping for. Dean's eyes grew concerned and Castiel could tell that the gravity situation was finally sinking in.

Dean shifted nervously. "So, you're telling me that you have to stick around to save the day, right?" Dean's sarcasm was fading, but he wasn't ready to give in just yet. "No Dean, you do. You don't die in 2014. You die six months after our fight at the bar. That's 180 days, just 24 short months until you abandon your brother and leave him alone to fight the most dangerous enemy either of you have ever faced."

Dean looked around again, not completely convinced that any monster could exist in this world. "What enemy Cas? Look around man, this place is… well, paradise." He cringed a little at his own choice of words. "Hell Cas, maybe the three of us gone is a good thing for the world. It's usually one of us that creates half the messes we clean up anyway." Cas smirked a little at that. He couldn't argue with the truthfulness of that statement.

"The face or name of the creature in question is not of import at the moment. What is important is that its creation is a direct result of me leaving and your death." Dean narrowed his eyes at the angel. "If you're not gonna tell me everything, then just take me back home, Cas. I think it is important or you wouldn't be being so pissy with me."

"You're right, it is important, but this will never come to be, because I won't let it. I won't leave you and I won't let you die, whether you like it or not." The seriousness was plain in Castiel's eyes. Dean knew that he could be a stubborn ass when he wanted to and there would be no answer to his question any time soon. It was pointless to argue.

"So how do I die?" Dean thought a change of subject might loosen the angel's tongue a little. "You simply stopped trying not to die. Started jumping into fights unprepared and half cocked." Cas saw Dean's eye roll, but choose to ignore it. "The thing that killed you, it killed all of you, Dean. Sam never really recovered, but he did at least try to move on." Dean just smirked and shrugged his shoulders. His own death really didn't move him that much; after all, he had died how many times now? Hell, with him gone, Sam could finally have that normal life he wanted and Cas could go back to being the fearsome soldier he was meant to be – used to be. It seemed like a win-win to him. He saw the scowl come across Castiel's face as though he knew what he was thinking, so he wiped the thought out of his mind. "And what happens if you stay?"

Castiel relaxed a little. "Today you figure out how to destroy the creature that is threatening the Earth. The best I can tell, it's some type of pagan god that's hell bent on destruction and chaos. Life is surprisingly similar to the 2014 that you saw. The world is a battlefield; paranoia and fear seem to be all that's left. This creature's power seems to be bringing people's nightmares to life. As bad as that sounds, Dean, it's not as bad as this. The three of us are still there, fighting together, like it should be."

Dean let it sink in for a moment, still wondering how Cas could possibly think that future was better than this one. "There's something you're not telling me, Cas. I can see it all over your face. Take me there." Cas stepped back and looked away from Dean's gaze. "No, I won't take you there. You're just gonna have to trust me. You don't need to see what happens because there is no other way. The creature must be destroyed, at any cost."

"This creature isn't here though, so, like I said, it must be one of us who does something stupid to bring it here." Cas frowned and shook his head. "No, I don't think so anyway. Something blocked me from seeing how it comes into existence or what it is exactly. I do know that it happens seven months from now. More importantly, I know how to stop it before it destroys half the planet. I can end it before it gets bad." Dean knew Castiel well enough that he could see that he still wasn't telling the whole truth.

"But you die, right? That's what you keep leaving out?" Castiel let out a frustrated breath, knowing that Dean wasn't gonna give up. "Yes Dean, I die." He could see Dean tense, so he took a step closer to him and put a hand on his shoulder. "The best thing that anyone can hope for is that their existence has been meaningful. You gave me that Dean. Most of creation lives and dies, barely leaving a trace to prove that they were ever even there. You made my life matter. You showed me more in a few years than I could ever have hoped to know. You showed me life, taught me to feel. There's nothing more I could ever ask for. To die for this world, for you… this isn't sad."

He moved his hand to Dean's chin, lifting it to meet his gaze. "I won't leave and let you die, let Sam's life be destroyed, have this world turn into this. My death is better." Dean turned away. He couldn't do this, couldn't listen to Cas say how his death was the better way. It was so much easier to face his own death than the death of the people he cared about. Castiel grabbed his shoulder and turned him back around. "Dean, I don't know how to fix this mess between us. I don't know how to make it better. I can erase your memory, but I can't erase mine." He lowered his hand and looked down, unsure how to word what he was about to say. "I have seven months, Dean. I don't want to spend that time pretending that I don't want…"

Dean's eyes widened and he moved closer to Castiel, took a hold of his shirt and pulled him into his chest, forcing the angel to look into his eyes. "That you don't want what, Cas?" Castiel moved his hands to Dean's jacket and lowered his eyes to Dean's lips. "You" The word was soft, barely a breath, but it was all that Dean needed to hear.

Dean smiled and softly ran his fingers through the angel's hair, knowing that he needed to take it slow. He gently brushed his lips across Cas'. It was barely a touch, but it left the angel breathless. Dean smiled at the reaction and leaned in again, this time with more aggression, nipping and sucking until the angel's lip was swollen and he was eagerly kissing back. Dean had been so afraid he'd never get this chance, never taste the warmth of his angel's kiss. It was more than he'd imagined, it was solid, real, and honest. He knew at that moment that he'd never let the angel die, but he could let Cas think that if this was what he got in return.

Castiel moved his hands to Dean's sides, grabbing at the soft fabric of the cotton shirt as Dean finally slipped his tongue inside the angel's mouth, desperately tasting every inch. After being so careful for so long, holding back every desire and need, he couldn't hold back any longer. The taste of his angel's mouth, his body moving against him, he couldn't – wouldn't stop now. Dean clawed at Castiel's shirt, pulling him with so much force that they nearly fell over. His hands finally found their way beneath fabric, his mouth moving over Castiel's neck, biting and sucking. "God I've wanted you for so long, Cas." The angel moaned and moved his hands to Dean's hips.

Suddenly he froze, pulling back. "Dean, we have to stop. Now."

"No." Dean pulled him back into his chest. "You want this as much as me." He pulled on Cas' belt and slid his hand beneath the loose denim fabric, his fingers curling around Castiel's hard dick. "Let me…"

Cas pulled away from Dean again. "You don't understand. We can't. Not here. We have to go. It may already be too late, we've been seen." The fear in Castiel's voice finally registered and he quickly withdrew his hand and body, looking around. They were surrounded by a group of six people who looked more hungry than curious, each holding a weapon of some sort. Cas put his fingers to Dean's head, but nothing happened. "Cas, what the hell?"

"Guess again…" Dean and Cas turned around at the same time to come face to face with a second Castiel.

**Thanks for reading. Please review. Next chapter is already being typed. I am a very bad typist, but I'll have it as quickly as possible.**


	5. Sorry Cas, But I Dredd Seeing You Again

**Chapter 5: Sorry To Say, But I Dredd Seeing You Again**

Dean took a quick step back, it was Castiel, but his eyes…they were different, colder. Instead of the blue of his Cas', they were the color of steel with black flakes, as though the color had been drained away. As crazy as it seemed, Dean found himself a little afraid. He turned to 'his' Castiel and growled under his breath, "Not of import, Cas? You and I need to have a long talk about what is and isn't important." Cas lowered his eyes, looking away from Dean to Castiel who had turned his attention to the people gathered.

"Leave us. You've all done well and will be rewarded." The group dispersed without a word and Castiel turned around to face Dean and Cas. "You come to my time and have the nerve to make fools of yourselves in public, to embarrass me in this manner? You dare disrupt the peace and respectability I've created here?" His words were controlled and full of disdain. His eyes darted between the two of them. If looks could kill, Dean and Cas would have been lying, lifeless on the ground.

"Look man, we're sorry. It just got a little out of hand. Send us back to our time and we can make like nothing happened." Dean swallowed a lump in his throat and tried to flash his best 'Dean' smile. Castiel moved into Dean's space, his cold eyes bore into Dean's. "Don't bother trying to charm me, Dean. You never got your hand down my pants, I know better." Castiel broke the stare and took a step back. "I don't think either of you will be going anywhere."

He moved towards Cas, who had been standing silently, as if in shock. "You, little angel, were a fool to bring him here. Obviously I can't kill you, but lover boy over there is fair game." His attention immediately went back to Dean. "The punishment for public indecency is in my world is death." He waited for the shock to show on Dean's face. "The only reason you aren't both laying bloody at my feet is because they thought he was me. I will correct that mistake."

Dean looked over to Cas, fear and confusion written all over his face. "Damn it, Cas. Why does your mojo always fail at the worst possible times?" Dean took a step back, almost falling over Castiel who appeared directly behind him. "Trust me sweetheart; running is a waste of time." He grabbed Dean by the throat and lifted him into the air, squeezing. "I could kill you with just a touch, but I want to feel the life leaving your body."

"Hey asshole!" Castiel quickly turned to Cas who was holding an angel blade against his own chest. "Cas, no." Dean breathlessly screamed at Cas, the words barely audibly as he gasped for breath against the steel grip of Castiel's hand. Castiel harshly released the hold he had on Dean, throwing him to the ground. Cas moved around Castiel towards Dean, his eyes never moving from Castiel's. "If I die, you die. You touch him again, it will be the last thing either of us ever do." Cas reached down to Dean, helping him up, still keeping his eyes on Castiel.

"Fine, you win for now. Keep in mind that this is my world, not yours." He took a step closer to the two. "You will obey the laws, both of you. There are consequences for all choices." Dean looked up to him, still leaning on Cas for support. "Just send us home and you won't have to worry about us breaking your freakin laws." Castiel smirked and shook his head. "I don't think so. The moment I let you return, this timeline ceases to exist. I'm neither stupid nor naive. Your baby in a trench coat grew up, Dean."

Castiel looked at the two of them for a moment, unsure of what to do with them. Cas had the upper hand at the moment and he couldn't kill him…yet. "Until I decide what to do with you, consider yourselves under house arrest. I may decide to let you stay here in my world if you can learn to behave. You might find that you even like it here. There's no crime, no war, no violence, and no monsters - just peace." Castiel noticed the twitch in Dean's jaw and the slight shift in his expression at the mention of no monsters. He decided to use it to his advantage. "Everyone lives in harmony here, Dean. As a bonus, I'll heal your brother. It was regrettable that I had to…" He let the words trail off instead of finishing.

Dean looked up at him and opened his mouth to talk, but Castiel cut him off. "Don't speak. I know every sarcastic comeback rolling around your head. Just think on it for a while. Take a long look at how perfect everything is here before you decide that I'm the bad guy." He turned and started to walk away, but quickly turned back around. "By the way, your precious Cas isn't telling you the whole truth about the other timeline. Trust me, it's not all rainbows and candy canes like he wants you to believe. It's not better Dean. You won't ever recover from what you do. You're as much dead there as you are here. The only difference is that you keep breathing."

Cas finally spoke up, breathing hard, wanting more than anything to shove the blade right up his other self's ass. "That won't happen because I can end it before it gets that bad." Castiel actually laughed before hardening his gaze on the angel. "Yeah, by sacrificing yourself before he does it for you. When will you get it? If he actually gave a damn about you, that would have never been an option and he would have never done it. You are an idiot. His death was the best thing that ever happened to us." Cas felt Dean tense next to him, knowing the words reached ears that were way to eager to believe the cruel statement. Cas tightened his grip around Dean's waist and shook his head, hoping Dean would believe it wasn't true.

"Just go, but keep your hands to yourselves." Castiel put his fingers to their heads and they were immediately transported to a hotel that was unbelievably bright and clean, much nicer than anything they were used to. Considering that they were expecting to be shackled to a dungeon wall or something, it was a pleasant surprise.

* * *

"Wow, I thought the stick up your ass was bad, but that guy has a whole damn tree stuck up there." Dean laughed nervously, trying to lighten the mood after seeing the grim look on Cas' face. He figured if he'd just come face to face with his evil self, he'd need a little cheering up too. "This isn't funny, Dean. We could actually be stuck here with that… him/me, whatever."

Dean smiled, still trying to brighten the mood. "Dude, even when you were playing God, you weren't that anal. But really, I don't see anything all that bad here other than the whole 'immediate death' thing, and I have a feeling that was meant mostly for me." He paused giving Cas a quick wink. "You sure you haven't been secretly watching 'Judge Dredd' behind my back?" Dean laughed, but realized by the frown on Cas' face that he completely missed the reference. Dean took a deep breath and put a hand on Cas' shoulder. "Man, just relax. If it's any consolation, my future self was a dick too. We both know that's not really you."

Cas stepped away, letting Dean's hand fall off his shoulder. "That is very much me, Dean. When you left the bar, Margaret told me that tequila was good for heartache. I told her I didn't have a heart, therefore it doesn't ache." He looked up at Dean with sad, soft eyes that begged for forgiveness. "And it didn't, Dean. At that moment, I was him. That… that heartless, cold, son of a bitch is exactly who I am without you." He took a step closer to Dean, his blue eyes holding Dean's green ones in a silent plea. "No matter what the nature of our relationship, be it just friends or more, I need you and you need me. You're my heart and I'm your hope. We need each other, whether we like it or not."

Cas lowered his head and looked away, but Dean pulled him back, pulling him to his chest. He softly brushed his thumb across Cas' jaw line and placed a brief, innocent kiss on the angel's lips. "I already know this, Cas. I figured it out when I had to watch you die in that lake. No matter how much you hurt me, or how damn mad I was at you, a part of me died with you that day. When I pulled your coat out of the water, that's when I realized…" Cas reached up and wiped away the tear that rolled down Dean's cheek.

"Why didn't you just tell me, Dean? " Dean pulled away, part of him wanting to strangle the angel for his over-simplistic expectations, but instead he grinned at the innocent honesty of the question. "How could I? Firstly, I was still pissed as hell, Cas. I didn't think anything would ever hurt as much as what Sammy did, but what you did; it was almost worse. It's like as soon as I trust someone, let them in, the bottom falls out." He saw the sorrow and guilt in the angel's face. Making Cas feel bad wasn't what he was going for, unfortunately it was the truth and sometimes the truth hurts, so he continued his explanation. "Cas, when I found you, you didn't even remember me or us or even yourself for that matter. After that, you fixed Sammy, but went completely bat-shit crazy yourself. Really Cas… who should I have told; Emanuel, the conveniently married, faith healer or the 'coo-coo for cocoa puffs', insane bee whisperer?"

Cas tried to pull away, but Dean kept him from moving. "I'm telling you now, Cas. Maybe I should have spoken up earlier, but it is what it is. Dude, the cat's out of the bag and I know we can't just pretend that nothing happened. I want the 'more', Cas. I'm just not completely convinced that you do, even after what we did earlier. I need to be sure that you're sure about this."

Cas raised his hand to Dean's cheek and gently lifted his face to look into his eyes. "You can trust me, Dean." He placed his lips over Dean's and gently nipped his lower, causing a soft moan to escape Dean's throat. Cas took the opportunity to slowly slip his tongue inside Dean's willing mouth, taking the time to pour every ounce of devotion into each movement of his tongue, trying desperately to erase the doubt and insecurity that was built on a life of disappointment and betrayal.

Dean was taken by surprise. He completely lost himself in the blissful pleasure of a single kiss. At that moment there was nothing else but the two of them, all the other crap, being trapped in a foreign world, nothing else existed except the two of them and the only time that existed was now.

Dean was startled out of his daze by the feeling of being pushed backwards and soft, strong hands on his chest, brushing gently over his skin. He felt dizzy with whatever Cas was doing to him. He felt himself falling back on the bed, the kiss finally broken, his angel moving down his neck, kissing tenderly as his hand slowly moved over the denim fabric of Dean's jeans, barely brushing over Dean's covered erection. "Damn Cas, what the hell are you doing to me?"

"I'm showing you that you can trust me, Dean." Dean laughed and rolled them over so he was straddling the angel. "It was a rhetorical question, Cas." He pulled the loose shirt from Cas' pants and started unbuttoning it, kissing downward with each opened button. "You really sure about this, Cas?" Dean asked as his tongue circled the angel's exposed navel.

"Was that another rhetorical question or just a stupid one, Dean?" Dean looked up and arched an eyebrow at the angel, laughing as he pinned Cas' hands above his head, biting playfully at his neck. "You're gonna pay for that one, smartass."

* * *

Castiel watched from the corner of the room as Margaret appeared. He turned to her, eyes glaring. "I sent you back to prevent this; you've only made it worse." She took a step back, seeing his fists clenched to his side. "I did exactly what you told me to do, nothing more. If you hadn't sent me back in the first place, he wouldn't have ever come here. Your existence alone is proof of that. He would have left and you know it. It was your insecurity that caused this, not me."

He slowly released the tension from his fists and looked back at Dean and Cas. "Just shut up, Margaret. Have Jerrie and Rob handle this. Make sure they realize that is not me, but they still can't use lethal force. Have them detain them and explain the laws until I return."

Margaret looked at him, confusion apparent. "Castiel, Jerrie and Rob are leaders in a movement against you. You really think that involving them is a good idea?" Castiel laughed before turning to her with cold eyes. "Their little rebellion is a joke. They can't touch me and you know it." He stepped back, calming himself. "It's exactly why I'm sending them. They won't do as much damage as some of the other enforcers would. They are also the best and only ones that stand a chance against those two." He took her chin in his hand and raised it to look him in the eyes. "Everything I do is for a reason. You would do well to remember that and stop questioning me."

* * *

The wooden door crashed open, splinters flew and pieces of broken wood crashed to the floor. "You are in violation of amendment 734, subsection 103. Cease all activity and put your hands up." The words boomed through a megaphone. Dean and Cas jumped up from the bed, poised to fight, but were thrown to the ground and handcuffed before they had a chance to react.

Rob pulled them up to their knees and immediately knew why they were ordered to detain instead of the usual 'execute punishment on sight' command. "What is this Castiel? Are we being tested or something?" Cas looked up at the burly man who's brows were furrowed in confusion. "I am not the Castiel that you know." The two enforcers stood staring, unsure of what action to take next.

The woman finally spoke after taking a deep breath. "We were told to detain you and explain the laws until…. Castiel arrives." She was pretty with blondish hair; pale skin dotted with freckles and eyes the exact color of Dean's. She cleared her throat and spoke with a nervous voice. "Fornication without prior written consent is strictly prohibited and punishable by death after three subsequent violations."

Dean looked up at the girl and smirked. "You have to be joking. Sex is against the law?" She looked over at her partner who spoke. "Sex between legally bound partners is permitted. We were told that you lack the proper legal documentation that permits this action, therefore this activity is prohibited. We were also advised that this is your second infraction." Rob hoped that his technical wording would cover the nervous hitch in his voice. Castiel never played these types of games before and he never uses trickery. He wasn't sure what was going on and it made him very nervous.

Dean laughed and looked over to Cas. "Dude, as soon as we get the hell out of here, I'm fucking your brains out." As bad as the situation was, both on their knees, clothes half discarded, hands cuffed behind their backs, guns pointed in their general direction, Cas couldn't hold back a small laugh. The one called Jerrie nearly dropped her weapon, mouth gaped open. Cas looked at her and grinned. "What? It was funny." She held the gun steadier and addressed him. "It's just, I've never heard you laugh or even seen you smile. You seem almost… well, human."

"Jerrie, shut up. This could be a trick of some sort." He walked over to Dean and slammed the butt of his gun into Dean's head hard enough to hurt, but not knock him out. "The use of profanity is also prohibited. Consider this your warning, next time I won't be so gentle." Cas looked over to Dean and gave him a silent, 'keep your mouth shut' look. Dean just smirked at him. "Really Cas? No sex, no swearing, what's next? Is pie banned here too?" Cas just rolled his eyes and looked down, expecting the next statement that came from Jerrie's mouth. "Only healthy food is permitted." Dean laughed, shaking his head. "And I thought hell was bad."

"I could always send you back then, Dean." Rob and Jerrie straightened up, as if at attention, as the gravelly voice of Castiel entered the conversation. "Jerrie, Rob; you've done well. Thank you for detaining them."

"You're a real piece of work, you know that?" Dean glared at Castiel. "I mean really… banning sex and cursing is one thing, but pie? Dude, you really need to get laid." Jerrie almost choked trying to stifle a laugh. Castiel gave her a disapproving look before calmly walking over to Dean. "I never found your childish sarcasm amusing, Dean." Without further warning, his hand slammed into Dean's face, sending him crashing to the floor. Dean pulled himself back up, adjusting the bones in his neck as he spit out a mouthful of blood. "That make you feel better, asshat? Yes? No? I think you're just pissed that you never got a taste of this sweet ass." Cas looked over at Dean, his eyes pleading for him to just shut up. "You really should have taught him the proper way to show respect, Cas." The 'Cas' came out in a mocking tone as his fist bore down on Dean yet again.

Castiel watched as Dean pulled himself back up, slower this time. His face finally void of the arrogant smirk. "I got news for you Dean. I don't want any part of your so-called sweet ass." He paused for a second looking at Cas, briefly, then back to Dean. "As a matter of fact, I never did, not even two years ago." He looked at Cas again. "Isn't that right, Cas?"

Cas finally spoke. "Please don't, I'm begging you." Castiel looked at him with disgust as he threaded his fingers through Dean's hair, roughly turning his head to face Cas. "Look at him, Dean, your precious little angel, always so willing to die for you. You think he wouldn't also be willing to spread his legs for you if it meant keeping you alive?"

Dean looked over to Cas in time to see his eyes fall to the floor. "Cas?" Castiel crouched down in front of Dean. "Aw, poor Dean. Did that hurt your feelings?" Dean jerked his head away from Castiel and glared up at him, his chest rising and falling with angry breaths. "He is me Dean, and I am him. I know exactly what he doing and why." He stood back up. "The difference is; I don't lie anymore, not for your sake or anyone else's."

"You are a complete ass." Cas looked up at Castiel, eyes glossy with tears that angels don't cry. "I will find a way to kill you, you son of a bitch." Castiel cocked his head slightly, pretending to ponder Cas' words. "Whatever you say." He leaned down and quietly whispered in Cas' ear. "But now I won't have to worry about him touching you again, will I?" He pulled Cas' pant leg up and removed the angel blade that Cas had hidden there. "These are forbidden contraband. I am the only being allowed to possess one."

Castiel stood up and moved to Jerrie and Rob. "Stay here with them tonight and keep an eye on them. Tomorrow, show them around or something. I can't let them leave, so they either stay willingly or die." Rob could tell that Castiel was a bit frustrated, which he didn't see very often. Castiel saw Rob's concern and frowned. "You know me Rob, probably better than anyone else. You know that I don't want their blood on my hands, so I'm counting on you two to make them see that things aren't so bad here." Jerrie huffed and Rob immediately elbowed her to warn her to keep her mouth shut. "It's okay Rob. I think you two should spend some time appreciating the good here too. You both spend way too much time dwelling on the negatives." With the sound of fluttering wings, he was gone.

**AN: Thanks for reading. I hope you like it so far. Try not to lose faith in Cas' honesty just yet ; ) Thank you for the follows and faves. Please let me know what you think, the silence frightens me. I'm headed to the beach for the holidays, so the next chapter will be sent from the Gulf of Mexico, I can't wait to get there. Thanks again for reading. Just in case something happens and I don't get the next chapter published by Tuesday, I hope you all have a very happy and safe holiday.**


	6. Sorry, But You're Not That Good an Actor

**Chapter 6: Sorry Cas, but You're Not That Good an Actor**

Rob walked over and un-cuffed Dean and Cas. "Jerrie's gone to get you some ice for your face. Please don't make us cuff you two again." Dean half smiled up at Rob. "Yeah, well I really don't think I could take you on, at least not at the moment. If you don't mind, I'd just like to take a shower." Rob nodded and Dean walked out of the room without giving Cas a second glance.

"Why do you follow his orders? It's obvious that you don't agree with him, but I don't think you're really afraid of him either." Rob looked up at Cas who had moved to sit in a small white chair that sat in the corner of the room. "I may not agree with him on many things, but he's my friend. Yeah, I want to see him out of power, but he's doing what he thinks is right. There are a lot of people that are much happier now, because of him." Cas rolled his eyes and turned to glance over at the bathroom door. Rob caught the gesture. "Yeah, he called you out. That doesn't make him the bad guy here. Actually, it makes you the bad guy here. As for the way this world works, he gave us a choice, laid it all out for us. We chose this path, almost unanimously. No one was forced to follow him. It's not his fault that some of us changed our minds, realized that the price is too steep."

Cas could tell that the man didn't like him at all. His words were coarse and his mannerism angry. "I'm not him, you know. Why do you dislike me so much?" Rob studied him for a moment before he spoke. "Because you think you're superior to him for some reason. Really, you're no better. You're his exact mirror image, the opposite of him. You're just as bad, but more dangerous because you're less honest. You have the self-righteous arrogance of an angel, but the ability and desire to deceive of a human. Do not assume that I won't defend him if you make a move against him."

"I'm back." Jerrie looked around the room. "Where's Dean?" She closed the door behind her and sat the bucket of ice on the ornate dresser. She quickly became concerned when she noticed the staring match between Rob and Cas. "Is there a problem here?" Rob gave her an innocent look and huffed. "He wanted to know why I don't like him. I can't help that he didn't like the answer."

She smiled over at Cas. "Let me guess, you bad mouthed your future self?" Cas nodded and rolled his eyes over to Rob. "You'll have to excuse him; He has this crazy love-hate relationship with our winged dictator. Reminds me a lot of the epic love story between Caesar and Brutus." Rob smacked her playfully on the shoulder. "You're not the least bit funny, Jerrie." Cas couldn't help but grin at the relationship between the partners. "I'm just surprised he hasn't banned Shakespeare as well. Although I never realized Julius Caesar was a romance." Jerrie laughed, realizing that she kind of liked this version of the angel. "Subtext Cas. It's all in the subtext." She gave him a quick wink and turned back to Rob with a grin on her face that he hadn't seen in a while.

"You're such a freak, Jerrie." He looked over to Cas and lost some of his humor. "Say what you want about Castiel, but at least he doesn't screw with people's emotions and manipulate feelings as a means to an end." He saw Jerrie roll her eyes and wrinkle her nose at him like a first grader might. "Seriously Jeer, you have to see how much more dangerous he is. All the same power as Castiel with the downfalls of human deceit." Jerrie lightly slapped the back of his head and laughed. "Shut up, Preacher Rob. It's not like you're some kind of saint or anything." She gave him a knowing scowl. "He isn't deceiving anyone. No offence, but you're a guy so you think like one. He's not human, so he doesn't get that what he did was wrong, and really, it wasn't."

"Yeah, he does and yeah, it really was or he wouldn't have asked him not to tell." Dean stepped out of the bathroom, rubbing a small white towel over his hair. "Guys, could you give us a few moments of privacy? We won't go anywhere and I promise there will be no law breaking."

Jerrie looked at Dean and nodded. "We'll be right outside if you need us." She handed him the bucket of ice. "Your jaw is pretty swollen… ice it." She smiled at him and tilted her head towards Cas. "And just between us, he really does want to do some law breaking, even if he doesn't realize it." She winked at him and followed Rob out the door.

"Dean, I…" Dean shut Cas up by placing his index finger over Cas' lips, earning him a frown from the angel. "I already told you Cas, there are tells and you're not that good an actor. On the other hand, I'm an awesome actor." Dean laughed and smiled at Cas. "I even had you fooled, _'Mister- I always know what you're thinking'- angel of the lord_." Cas glared at him, finding very little humor in his deception. "Chill out, Cas. Getting them to think I'm pissed should buy us a little privacy." Cas narrowed his eyes at Dean, refusing to let him get away with making him worry. "I don't think that lowering my body temperature will make me any less annoyed with you or myself right now, Dean. This whole situation is a complete mess." Cas folded his arms over his chest and looked towards the wall.

Dean took one look at the angel and started laughing. "Man, I don't know what kind of mojo your future self worked on you, but dude, you are totally pouting. You know who pouts, Cas?" When Cas didn't respond to Dean's teasing, he started to wonder if the angel was actually mad. He stopped laughing and walked over closer to Cas. No way was he gonna be stuck in some crazy future with two Castiels pissed off at him, one was bad enough. "I'm sorry, Cas. I just wanted them to think I was mad. I'm not used to you being so trickable." Dean started to lean down to make Cas look at him, but Cas pushed him back, standing up from the chair, turning his back to Dean. "You don't need to apologize, Dean. I do."

"I know it's a long shot, but is there any possibility that you're joking?" Dean looked at Cas, hoping that Cas was trying to pull off some kind of Oscar worthy performance to prove his acting skills were up to par. "No, I'm not joking, but I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at myself, both my present selves, actually." He turned around, blue eyes looking straight into Dean's as though the answers to all life's questions lied within them. "I wasn't deceiving you earlier, but he wasn't lying either. You need to know the truth."

Confused, Dean frowned. "What are you talking about?" Cas hesitated for a moment, and found himself looking up toward the ceiling as if God himself would appear to give him the right words to speak. "I am sorry, but it never even crossed my mind to be with you in a sexual manner, Dean. It's not that I don't find you aesthetically pleasing, but…" His eyes found Dean's once again. "I'm not human, Dean. Some of my brothers and sisters may have chosen to partake in certain human pleasures, but I just never seemed to see a purpose for it." He hesitated, knowing that he was about to make Dean very angry and this time he couldn't just fly off and avoid a confrontation.

"When I saw what happens in the future if I leave you, I realized that I had to find a way to get you to let me stay. Maggie told me that if I refused your feelings, things could never go back to the way they were before. I realized that if I wanted you to let me stay, I had to recipicate. I found a purpose." Cas let out a breath and awaited Dean's impending wrath.

Dean narrowed his eyes and gave the angel a soft scowl – annoyed, but not angry. "Are you finished with the gut wrenching confession, or is there more?" Cas' head shot up at Dean's sarcasm, completely unexpected. When Dean realized that Cas wasn't gonna answer, he shook his head and snickered. "Does everything really have to be all neatly tied up for you Cas? Do you really always need a greater purpose before you act?"

"Yes Dean, it is what I am." Cas' eye roll and huff completely contradicted the point he was making, yet he continued. "I am not a creature with a soul, a soul that is nothing more than a product of an infinite range of emotions, beautiful and everlasting. I am a soldier who's one and only purpose is to serve the will of heaven and my father. Without purpose, I am nothing. The end of my purpose is the end of everything I am."

Now it was Dean's turn to roll his eyes, but the small smile at the corner of his mouth spoke louder than the annoyed gesture. "Geesh Cas, and people say I have daddy issues…" Dean reached out to put a hand on the angel's shoulder, but Cas backed away. "Please don't make light of this. I am desperately trying to make you understand…"

"Oh, I get it. Trust me, I get it. Follow daddy's orders like a good little soldier. Never question daddy's orders. Never think for yourself because you don't have a worthwhile thought in your head. Daddy's blunt little instrument. Yeah, I get it… Because I was there for my entire life. It took the reality of facing hell for me to see that was all crap. Guess what? It's even bigger crap in your case. You're more than that; you're more than capable of doing your own thing. You've proven that." Cas could see the determination in Dean's face, the hardness that years of being told he wasn't important enough to have his own needs and wants, just Sammy's big brother and his father's little protégé.

Cas lowered his eyes to the floor, his voice softened. "Yeah, and look what happened when I did. I destroyed everything." Dean walked over and pulled Cas' chin up to look at him. "Nope, you don't get to do that. Yeah, you royally screwed the pooch, but guess what? I started the damn apocalypse. It doesn't mean you get to go bury your head in the freakin sand or run back to 'the good old days' of just taking orders. You were always more, Cas. Whether or not you want to admit it, you could always feel."

Dean pressed his lips to Cas' in a brief, chaste kiss. He pulled back and looked at the angel knowingly, a slight smile on his lips. "I know you feel that, Cas. I also know it's more than physical. I know you felt something on that park bench when you, for some odd reason, felt the need to convince me that you weren't just a 'hammer'. I know you felt something when I was in the hospital after Aleister kicked the crap out of me. I know you felt something when _you_ kicked the crap out of me in that alleyway after I had given up. I know you felt something when I left you trapped in that holy fire after we realized you were working with Crowley, and I know that you feel something now." Dean punctuated the last sentence with a finger poke to Cas' chest.

"Yes I do, but not before. I need you to know that I just… I responded to this," He motioned between himself and Dean. "just to convince you to go back with me and let me do things my way. So you would let me stay with you and kill the creature."

Dean laughed this time. He already had a pretty good idea, but hearing it put so bluntly from an angel of the freakin lord, was just funny. "So, you were using sex to get something that you want. You realize what that makes you, right Cas?" Cas looked down again, wishing Dean would stop making him look into those green eyes. "Yes. It makes me exactly what Rob said: A heartless creature that screws with people's emotions to get what he wants."

Dean shook his head, moving closer to Cas. "No Cas. It makes you more human than you may want to admit. It doesn't matter why you did it. What matters is that you liked it and actually want to do it, at least that's what matters to me." Dean smirked and released a small laugh. He leaned back and folded his arms over his chest, one eyebrow raised. "Do you really think I was stupid enough to believe that you, a cloud hopping virgin, just suddenly wanted to jump my bones after freaking out over it just a few hours before?" He released his stance and loosened up his demeanor. "Hell no. But I figured that once you tried it, you might actually like it. Sex isn't usually an acquired taste, but you're different. I know that."

"So, you're not mad?" Cas' questioned with a note of trepidation, still subconsciously waiting for some outburst about lies or deceit. Instead Dean simply remained calm, keeping his eyes on Cas. "No, I'm not mad. Just be freakin honest from now on. Besides, it's not like I don't have a boat-load of my own issues on this subject. I mean, you're not exactly my typical Friday night fun pass. You do remember that I'm sort of used to tits and vagina. Dude, you have stubble. I should be the one freaking out here, not you."

Cas tried, but couldn't contain a small, nervous laugh. "You laughing at me, Cas?" Dean asked, glad the conversation was coming to a close until he noticed the smile on Cas' face didn't come close to reaching his eyes. "What now? What else could possibly be bothering you? I want to, you want to… so, what?"

"It's just, this whole thing falls under what you normally call a 'chic flic' moment and you constantly tease Sam about his lack of masculinity for being overly emotional. Right now, you are being incredibly Sam-like. It's a little unnerving and I'm wondering when you became okay with this. I've been so focused on my own thoughts that it just occurred to me that this is all really strange and sudden. Dean, you constantly try to pick up women for sexual relations. You're always reminding me and Sam how unmanly our mannerisms are, and for some reason, you are very bothered by my 'lack of personal space'. How is it that you want this now, when just a few days ago, my standing too close, caused you discomfort?" Cas tilted his head slightly and even as frustrated as Dean was getting, he couldn't find it in him to be pissed after seeing the familiar gesture.

"Cas, really… Do we have to keep talking about this? Can't we just… Damn it Cas, all your questions are a little Sam-like as well. Do we really have to keep doing this?" Dean huffed and took a step back; he realized that he had been the one with personal space issues lately.

Cas took a step to close the gap Dean left, concerned now that Dean suddenly wanted to close himself off again. He didn't realize how much he enjoyed being able to just talk with Dean instead of argue or hide. "Yes we do, because I need to know, as do you; that this is what we really want to do and not something… unnatural." He finished and waited for Dean's response, but the shocked look on Dean's face made it clear that the thought of a hex or spell of some type never crossed his mind.

Dean regained what little composure he had left in the midst of this marathon of soap operatic proportions. It had been years since he'd been forced to try this hard to get into someone's pants. "So, you think I've been cursed or something? Am I really that much of a dick normally? Don't answer that… Look, I told you, I have issues about this, but since Sammy decided to play matchmaker, the cat's kind of out of the bag and it ain't getting back in. As for the personal space thing: It makes me uncomfortable because I like it when you're close to me, but I don't like that I like it. You really never noticed that two seconds after I make you get out of my personal space, I step right back into yours?"

"Yes, of course I noticed, but you are somewhat odd about things. I assumed that it was yet another manifestation of your continuous need to assert dominance over everything, including where everyone should stand. You are very controlling." It was a simple statement, not intended to insult, but Dean couldn't help but feel he had, in some way, been reprimanded. "Damn Cas, don't sugar coat it. Just say what you mean: I'm a dick."

Cas moved to the dresser and began inspecting the unused bucket of ice. He picked up a piece of ice and turned it over in his hand before placing it back in the silver bucket. "No Dean, you're not a dick. You are a good, kind, loyal man who passionately defends and protects the people he loves." He looked at Dean, who was staring at him with a cocky smirk. Cas could tell he was getting ready to fire some sarcastic rebuttal, but Cas continued. "You just pretend to be a dick, much to the annoyance of the people who love you."

Dean started to go ahead with the dick joke he had on the tip of his tongue, but looked down instead. "Nope, I really am just a dick." He could see the resignation in Cas eyes and it gave him a little satisfaction. It was more than a little freaky how the angel knew him so well, could see behind the mask he carefully constructed. He knew that was one of the reasons the guy got under his skin like he did. "You do know that you're one of the people I um… care about. Right Cas?"

"I'm not a person, Dean. You keep forgetting that. But yes, I know that you continuously try to defend and protect me, which annoys me greatly. I should be the one protecting you. You keep forgetting that I am stronger than you." Cas finished and finally moved away from the ice bucket.

"Are you sure about that, _angel?_" Dean didn't give Cas any time to react. With a playful smirk, he grabbed Cas and pushed him into the wall, securing his hands above his head. "Tell me again, how you're so much stronger than me."

"This is merely a temporary situation Dean." Cas shot at him, not even trying to struggle. "Yeah well, you seem to misplace your mojo pretty often. I think It's safe to say I'm stronger by default." Dean released Cas' hands so he could pull Cas' shirt from his pants. He ran his hands up the angel's chest then down again to the denim fabric of the loose fitting jeans, his hands easily slid beneath the loose belt and waistband. He'd had quite enough of the damn chit-chat, girl talk and was more than ready to move on to the good part.

Apparently Cas wasn't in the mood to talk anymore either. His head fell forward onto Dean's shoulder and free hands went straight to the smooth muscles of the chest that he was currently pinned against. He ached his neck to the side, inviting Dean to run his tongue along the curve of Cas' neck up to his earlobe as his hand caressed and stroked the angel's rock hard dick, each movement causing a moan to escape Cas' lips. "You ready to surrender to my dominance yet?" Dean bit down on the earlobe before drawing it into his mouth, then running the tip of his tongue along the sensitive skin just behind his ear. Cas moaned as he leaned into Dean's warm touch. "Apparently I surrendered years ago."

Dean turned and led Cas to the bed and gently pushed him down, climbing up to straddle him. He'd fought this for so long, played the uber-straight, tuff-guy and did what he was expected to do, been who he was expected to be. Now, as he looked down at his angel, so willing to give Dean anything he wanted or even just thought he wanted, it seemed like so much time had been wasted. So much hurt and pain could have been avoided.

He placed a soft kiss on Cas' lips, delicately taking in the curves and contours of his soft lips, then slowly moved down to gently kiss his neck and shoulders, savoring Cas' scent of cool breeze and summer flowers. Ceremoniously marking each inch of flesh with a kiss before sitting up, a content smile on his face. "Dean, what are you doing?" Cas sat up on his elbows and tilted his head slightly, trying to understand why Dean had suddenly stopped. "There is no way in hell, that after waiting all these years for this, our first time is gonna happen in some strange place, with no lube, and two freaky ass-hunters-slash-enforcers waiting outside the door. Oh, and let's not forget about our fine, feathered, cock-blocker who will probably show up to kick our asses some more." Dean leaned down and gave Cas another slow kiss, gently nipping and licking the angel's lips. "We, well at least _I_, have waited and wanted this for too long for it to not be perfect."

Cas smiled and returned Dean's kiss, savoring the softness that he rarely got to see, let alone feel. "I understand that, but you still haven't made restitution for your trickery earlier. That's simply not acceptable." Dean's eyes shot open wide, he shook his head and smiled. "Fine, you want restitution, I'll give you restitution." Dean quickly pulled Cas' pants down to his thighs with a harsh tug and pushed him back down on the bed, kneeling in front of him. "Pay attention, there will be a quiz later…"

* * *

Rob shifted nervously as muffled moans drifted through the motel door. "You realize they're in there breaking several laws." Jerrie smiled at Rob's sour face. "Yup, and good for them. At least someone's getting laid around here." Castiel appeared in front of them, glaring at Jerrie. "I tolerate your insubordination constantly, only for Sam's sake, Geraldine. Do not push me." She rolled her eyes and leaned back against the door, as if her small frame could keep him out if he really wanted to enter.

Instead of engaging her, he turned his attention to Rob. "I'll be leaving this place for a while, tomorrow afternoon. Once I go, he will get his powers back." He handed Rob a piece of paper with a symbol drawn on it and a golden pen. "Give them thirty minutes to finish." The sound of disgust was apparent in his tone. "Then go inside and draw this on his hand and say the words written below it." Rob nodded, then Castiel turned to Jerrie. "A little incentive for you to cooperate: I offered to fix Sam if they decided to stay. I'm sure you'd like that yourself, Jerrie."

He took a step back and started to walk away, but turned back around instead. "I know that you two don't approve of everything I do and I know all about your little resistance movement, yet I've ignored it and treated you no differently than before. I have never lied to either of you and never will. Believe me when I say that this is better than what happens if they return home and follow his plan. This is the only way to keep the world safe. You would not like the alternative. That angel in there, does not have all the information."

"If you really want them to stay, you're gonna have to let them be together. Can you deal with your jealousy?" Castiel tilted his head to the side and narrowed his eyes on her. "I am, in no way jealous of what they are doing in there." She took a step closer, as if to prove how unafraid she was. "Maybe not, but you are jealous that they have each other and _your_ Dean is dead and gone – that _your_ Dean never wanted you like that. _Your_ Dean only saw you as an ally, a weapon and nothing more."

Castiel turned to walk away, wondering silently why he let that woman get away with so much more than anyone else. Anger and rage overwhelmed him every time she stood up to him and spoke to him in that manner, the same way someone else did years ago. Yet, like that other person, he always let her get away with it. She reminded him so much of him, and he knew Sam saw the same thing. "Jerrie, you over estimate my control. I am warning you to shut up."

His hands now clenched at his sides, he willed himself to just walk away and not give in to her desire to argue. "Sam told me differently though, Castiel." Jerrie yelled after him. "He told me that his brother was in love with you. That's the real reason Sam refused to stick an angel blade through your chest." Castiel finally turned and looked at her, his resolve broken. He glared at her through his cold, silver eyes. "I wish he had." With the sound of fluttering wings, he was gone.

Rob stood in shock at the woman in front of him. "Sometimes you can be a real heartless bitch, Jerrie." She seemed more upset than usual at his insult. "Look, I'm sorry if I hurt your precious angel's feelings, but it needed to be said." Rob looked around to make sure no one was listening. "Look Jerrie, there's so much more to the story than you know, more than Sam knew. Castiel wouldn't tell Sam the truth about what happened because Dean was his big brother and he didn't want to put Sam in the middle, and it wouldn't have changed things anyway. I know he's right, Jerrie. Dean and Cas can't be together."

**AN: Hey guys! Thanks for reading, I hope you like the story so far. I'm sure that it's bad form to beg for reviews, but pleeeeessssse let me know what you think. See ya next chapter!**


	7. What About Sammy?

**Chapter 7: What About Sammy?**

"Guys, are you done in there?" Rob knocked at the door. "We need to come in." He waited with folded arms for one of them to open the door. Dean finally opened it slowly, glancing around. He knew Castiel didn't need to knock on the door, but he was cautious just to be on the safe side. "The boss tell you to break up the party?" He held his hand out to welcome them in once he was satisfied Castiel wasn't around. "Actually, Castiel told us to give you time to finish before we came in." Rob looked over at Cas who was leaning back on two pillows, watching TV from the bed.

"I'm sorry I misjudged you. I've never known him to lie before." Castiel half smiled up at him. "No need to apologize. He wasn't lying. He told the truth as he understands it, but he isn't me, not anymore." Rob nodded, but still couldn't seem to find it in him to trust the powerless angel. Castiel had a certain presence, a spirit that was missing in this version.

"This shit is too confusing for me; it's giving me a friggin headache." Jerrie looked at Dean, throwing her gun down on the second bed. "Did he really offer to fix Sammy if you guys stay?" Jerrie only had one thing on her mind now. "Yeah. Why? Did you know Sam…. Hey, did you just call him _Sammy_?" Dean was startled by the use of the nickname, and oddly a little taken aback by how easily it rolled off her tongue. "Yeah, I knew him and yeah, I accidentally called him Sammy. He keeps, I mean _kept_ telling me not to, but I forget. He was a friend." Dean sat down next to her on the second bed. "What happened? Why would Cas do that to him?"

"I met Sam pretty soon after you died." She gave him a sorrowful look, not quite sure how it would feel to have someone talk about her death in the past tense. It had to be pretty awkward. "He was pretty torn up, but still so… I don't know if 'caring' is the right word, but it's as close as I can come. My life was pretty rough. I made some, well a lot of bad choices. Long story short - I drank too much and took any pill that I thought would make reality less real, if you know what I mean."

She shifted a little, obviously uncomfortable with a room full of eyes being on her and her sob story. "I was high on 'god-only-knows-what' when that flying dick showed up to take me to re-programming. That's where all the addicts go. Can't have winos running around in the shiny, new world. Usually they're never seen or heard from again. One hell of a 10 step program, if you ask me. "Quit being a drama queen, Jerrie. They're rehabilitated and go on to live normal, healthy lives. You never saw them again because the ones that really clean up don't go back to hanging out in alleyways with their old junkie friends." Rob finally took off his jacket and joined the conversation after securing Jerrie's discarded weapon.

She laughed. "Yeah, whatever. Anyway, when that feathery son of a bitch tried to get too close to me I threw my empty vodka bottle straight at his face. Unfortunately it didn't break his skull, just pissed him off enough to slap me in the face. Hell, he didn't even have the balls to hit like a dude." Dean gave her a friendly nod. "Junkless-the bunch of them. I've been saying it since day one." He smiled at her again, trying to put her at ease and it seemed to work. "Junkless huh? You could have fooled me by the sounds that were coming through that door." She gave him a quick wink and went back to her story, a little more relaxed. His slight blush was a bonus.

"I don't know why Sam was there, I suppose he was following Castiel, but he pulled out one of those angel blades and pushed Castiel away from me. I heard him tell Castiel to 'back the hell off' and he did. Sam helped me up and told Castiel that he'd get me clean and he did. He was amazing, seemed to completely understand what I was going through with the withdrawal and all. He never got upset or lost faith in me. He saved me. I owe him everything and there's nothing I can do to save him now." She looked over at Rob. "No matter how much good that piece of shit, angel may have done; it doesn't excuse what he did to Sam." Dean gave a quick glace over to Castiel. He didn't seem to be paying attention, but it was apparent by the way his lips were pressed together and shoulders stiff, that her words struck a nerve.

She continued with her story. "You know, I tried to beat the crap out of him at first. He's like three times my size, but I tried anyway. Scratched him up pretty good. He never even raised his voice. I think it must take a saint to stick by someone going through that, don't think I'd have the strength." Dean listened silently. This was freakin hero-worship at its worst. He quickly realized that Sam apparently hadn't explained to cause of his saintly empathy toward her situation. "Saint Sammy, yeah that sounds like him." Dean joked, but there was nothing funny in the memories of screams and agony that came through Bobby's panic room door during Sam's own battle with withdrawal. Cas still just sat silently, eyes on the television.

"Once I was out of the woods and coherent enough to carry on a conversation, I asked him why he helped he. When the reality of my wasted life finally hit me in crystal-clear, high-def, I just kind of broke down. I couldn't understand why he would take all the time to try to fix a broken girl who didn't deserve to be saved. He looked at me like a damn puppy dog and told me that I reminded him of someone." She smiled up at Dean. "He never told me who I reminded him of."

"Yeah, well Samantha's always been a pushover for a damsel in distress. So, you and him… a thing?" Dean's words, always chosen with class, bought him a huff from the pretty girl sitting next to him. "Hell no, not by my choice of course. Apparently I'm the one lucky girl whose savior has a big brother complex. The hottest guy I've ever laid eyes on and he treats me like a kid sister. I was working on it though." Dean laughed. "Sorry sweetheart, guess I didn't train him properly." He looked her up and down with an eyebrow raised in interest. "It's a shame really, you got saved by the wrong brother. I'd totally…" Cas loudly cleared his throat from his perch on the other bed, giving Dean a obvious warning.

Rob looked at Dean, stunned. He glared from the small table he'd taken a seat at. "Are you seriously hitting on her in front of…?" He casually rolled his eyes over to Cas. "Are you always this much of a Jackass or is this a special occasion? I need some air." He grabbed his jacket and left the room in a huff, slamming the door behind him.

After Rob's sudden departure, Dean glanced at Cas, wondering what the hell just happened. "Really Cas? I was just… You're not jealous are you?" Cas had been acting a little strange, maybe his behavior was inappropriate. Hell, he was new at this whole behaving himself thing. "You know I was just…"

"Of course not, don't be ridiculous. I sensed Rob getting extremely upset, that's why I interrupted. I think he may 'like' Jerrie." Jerrie's laughter was so sudden that even Dean jumped a little. "Oh my god. No he doesn't. That would be… ewww. I can't wait to tell him you said that." She kept laughing as Dean and Cas stared at her. Once she composed herself, she got up and sat next to Cas, putting a hand on his shoulder. "You're so cute really; I wish you hadn't changed so much. He doesn't have a 'thing' for me. He was defending your honor, well Castiel's honor anyway. He's seriously devoted to your anal-retentive, future self."

Dean's face suddenly lost all its humor as the weight of Jerrie's words finally sank in. He took a couple of deep breaths then stormed out the door leaving Jerrie and Cas looking at each other, completely confused by what just happened.

Dean found Rob leaning against an old Ford Mustang, cherry red and restored to mint. Dean would have taken the time to appreciate a job well done if he wasn't so set on kicking some ass. "You wanna talk about it, or should I just knock your freaking head off?" Rob slowly turned around, his eyes full of rage that could only be matched by Dean's. "I'd like to see you try, you pathetic, self-absorbed, son of a bitch." Dean cocked his eyebrows and took a breath. "Hey, don't hold back on my account, tell me how you really feel."

Dean took a step forward his fists clenched at his sides. "Know this, he's not your Castiel and if I have my way, he never will be. You might as well get used to it and you can go running back to the boss and tell him that you can both kiss my ass. He should recognize the sentiment."

"Do you even know what you're mad about? Maybe you just like finding fault in anyone who disagrees with you, or maybe you're just a pig headed brat. I don't know how he can't see through you. Better question; do you really care so little about him that you blatantly hit on someone else in front of him just minutes after you were with him?" Dean stared at him, fists still clenched and jaw locked. "Don't bother answering, I already know the truth."

After a few moments silence, Dean finally spoke. "I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt here because you don't know me. That in there with Jerrie… that's just who I am. She was upset and I'm a flirt. I flirt with everyone, I'm good at it. It usually gets chicks to relax and open up. Too long playing cops and robbers, I guess. Point is, it wasn't anything that Cas doesn't know and understand and it doesn't bother him. What bothered him was thinking that I was upsetting you because you have a thing for Jerrie. Of course, he's a little naive, but I'm not. I know exactly what this is about."

"No, you're not naïve at all, are you. But you do know how to take advantage of his naivety, don't you? You forget, Dean; I know what you did to him. I know what your so-called affection really is."

Dean was a little confused at the change of direction. "I died, Rob. I doubt I did it on purpose. I didn't mean to hurt him. I honestly didn't realize he was that sensitive. I mean, I've died plenty of times before and he didn't go all Robocop."

"You would think that your death was so hard for him to handle that he lost it. I mean really, how could life possibly go on without Dean Winchester? Look around, dumbass. It's better without you. It wasn't your death that broke him, Dean. It was what you did before you died that destroyed a part of him. The irony is that Cas in there, thinks his future self is evil and he needs you to prevent that from happening. He doesn't know how wrong he is. It was you that created Castiel in the first place." Rob took a step closer to Dean. The men were mere inches apart and both angry enough to forget anything except beating the other to a pulp.

"I get it now, why Boss Hogg would want you guarding us. You're not really part of any resistance movement. You're actually his little bitch, the boss man's mole to keep tabs on all the trouble makers. You betray your friends with every breath you take. Guess what, Robbie… You may think you're his friend, but you'll never matter as much as me. You're just a means to an end, nothing but a poor fool being used to spy on his so-called friends."

Dean's words weren't enough. He'd gotten so angry that his vision wasn't clear and all he wanted to do was beat the shit out of this guy who thought he could replace him. He lunged forward and his fist landed hard against Rob's nose with a sickening crunch. Blood poured down the man's face, but instead of covering his nose or even acknowledging any pain at all, Rob pulled out a silver gun, chambered a round and had it aimed directly at Dean's head within seconds. "You don't know me either, Dean. You're wrong about most of it, but you are right about one thing. He'll never let himself care about anyone, the way he cared about you. You single handedly destroyed the part of him that could trust humans. That other timeline, the one Cas won't tell you about; you kill him Dean, with your own two hands. You shove an angel blade straight through his heart and feed him to a monster. He watched you do it, yet finds it preferable to this reality. Ask yourself what could be worse than that." Rob took a step closer, the gun aimed straight at Deans temple. "It wasn't your death that broke him Dean. It was you."

"Robert, put the gun down." Castiel appeared next to Rob, his voice stern, but calm. "You know I can take it from you, but you need to do this on your own." Rob held his stance. "You may not want his blood on your hands, but I can live with it. He dies now, Cas goes home without him and you never have to feel any of the pain he caused, and the world doesn't have to suffer for his stupidity."

"His death would cause me pain, Rob. The Cas in that motel room would feel enormous pain and so would you. Killing him now, won't stop what happened, I have checked. It had already been set in motion before they left their own time." Dean cringed a little about the coldness in Castiel's last statement. He may have been confused by the conversation, but he kept his mouth shut and listened, trying to understand what was going on, taking in all of Castiel's words carefully. "You're angry now, but when the adrenaline wears off, you will regret this. Neither Dean nor I am worth what your actions will cause. You cannot murder an innocent, unarmed man without consequences. Think of the grief you will be putting the enforcer in that has to clean up what you know will come of this. That job would fall to me or Jerrie and you know I'd never put that on her. Think about what I will have to do if you pull that trigger. Having to do that would cause me pain; you know the price of murder. Put the gun down, Rob. Please." Castiel gently placed his hand on Rob's shoulder and he slowly lowered the gun, taking in a deep breath.

"Thank you." Castiel smiled at him and lightly touched his face, healing his nose instantly. "Go back inside and calm down. Please do what I asked you to do earlier." Rob turned to walk away, but Castiel appeared in front of him. "I appreciate your loyalty, Rob. I'd forgotten what it feels like to be cared about. Actually, I never knew what it really felt like to be cared about. I only thought I did. I'm sorry if you really believe that I'm too broken to return the feeling. I do know what it feels like to be used as a tool. That's not what I think of you. You are my friend and I do trust you."

Dean watched as Rob nodded and turned back to the room. The exchange between the two left Dean with a sick feeling in his stomach. What the hell could he have done? Cas was cared about, not just by him, but by Sam and Bobby too. He was part of their pathetic little excuse for a family. The thought sent his mind racing back to that stupid lab, Cas all juiced up, the power of a god at his disposal. _You're not my family, Dean. I have no family._ This couldn't be happening, not again. There had to be more to the story.

"You need to go back inside. Your angel won't like you being out here alone with me." Dean jumped. He was startled out of his thoughts by the deep voice. "Yeah well, thanks for saving my ass. Sorry to hear that killing me won't fix your issues or your world, apparently." Dean defiantly leaned back against the red Ford. He had no intention of being sent to his room like a damn kid. "If you're reaching for some reassurance that I wouldn't have taken that option if it would have fixed everything, you won't find it here. I wouldn't have even thought twice, Dean." The words combined with the icy coldness, sent a chill down Deans spine. "Whatever. You did just keep me from getting ventilated so, thanks."

Castiel turned to walk away, pointing toward the motel room. "I didn't do it for you. I did it for more important reasons. Go back inside." Dean followed him instead, not really good at taking orders. He grabbed the angel by the shoulder and pulled him back, momentarily forgetting who he was with. "What did I do, Cas?" Castiel turned abruptly and threw Dean into a blue Honda. He crashed into the hood with a loud thud, causing the car alarm to scream to life. "Don't call me that." Castiel touched the car and it immediately quieted. "Go back inside, now. I won't ask again."

"No, I won't just go back inside. Tell me what I did so I can fix it. Damn it, I know how I feel right now and I do care, a lot. Tell me what I did to make you think otherwise. Hell Castiel, Sammy and Bobby cared about you too. What happened to erase all that? You get some kind of amnesia? Did you fall down and hit your damn head? What?" Dean refused to give up. He given up last time, turned his back, become the enemy. He couldn't survive it again; he wouldn't let the past repeat.

"It's not of import, Dean." Castiel put two fingers to Dean's head and he found himself standing in the middle of the motel room, three sets of eyes trained solely on him. Dean took a deep breath and stormed into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. "Freaking angel." He smiled a little despite everything at the phrase. It'd been a while since he'd felt the need to say those words. He suddenly realized that a small part of him missed the infuriating son of a bitch who was allergic to straight answers; the angel who inspired those words countless times. He also realized that this future Castiel was less like the god version he'd become, but more like the Castiel that he's first met years ago. The one he'd been before spending too much time with a hunter, determined to make him human, the one he'd fallen… Dean splashed water on his face and pushed the thought aside. He refused to let his thoughts go anywhere near that one.

**Thanks for reading! Next chapter is on the way. **


	8. Beer, Burgers, and Melodrama

**A/N: I just want to say thank you for the reviews and follows. Special thanks to A Minion Named Danielle, you're reviews have made me so happy. Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts, it means the world to me.**

**After Wednesday's episode, I thought we could all use a little cheering up (I know I needed cheering up) so this chapter is a little less serious and heavier on the fluff. I'm not much of a fluffy-romantic type, but I tried. I hope you enjoy.**

**Chapter 8: Beer, Burgers and Melodrama**

Dean stepped out of the bathroom after taking a few moments to neatly collect his thoughts and pull it together, only to face Jerrie, happily sitting on Cas' lap, feeding him a hamburger. He calmly took a step into the room, cradling his forehead in his hand, trying to decide whether he was angry or amused, or maybe a little of both. Jerrie seemed to hate Castiel, yet found Cas 'cute'; her word, not his. It was freakin hilarious and Cas didn't seemed to mind. He actually jumped a little and straightened up when Dean stepped out. The small gesture, a very human reaction was enough to bring a smile to Dean's face. The damn angel looked too much like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

He decided to turn his anger, whether feigned or real, to the self-righteous son of a bitch who was supposed to be keeping order. "What the hell, Rob?" He pointed over at Cas and Jerrie. "It's a problem if I innocently flirt with her, but he can get a lap dance while being hand fed? All that's missing is a toga and some grapes." Rob shrugged his shoulders and grinned. "Well, I would've objected, but he isn't _my _Castiel so who am I to interfere? Besides, he doesn't seem to be complaining." Dean took the challenge. "Maybe we should call _your_ Castiel and see how much he likes it. What do ya say? You wanna call, or should I?"

"Calm down Dean, he's not getting a lap dance. Jealousy isn't attractive. There were only two chairs and I didn't want to sit on the floor and I'm blocking the food, so I just thought I'd be helpful. It's all perfectly innocent and he's been a perfect gentleman." Dean didn't miss the small smile on Cas' face or the way he looked down to avoid eye contact.

"Uh huh." Dean looked over at the table and noticed beer, a bag of cheeseburgers and some fries along with a pie and soda. He eyed it curiously as he pulled a perfectly vacant third chair up to the table, motioning for her to sit in it. "You're lucky that I know him well enough to know that's true. But at least try to keep your hands to yourself from now on, okay sweetheart." Dean gave her a quick wink and half smile to let her know he was kidding…mostly.

He took a seat on the edge of the bed closest to the table. "I thought that stuff was banned or something?" Rob took a swig of his beer, savoring the flavor as if it were gold. "Haven't you noticed that Jerrie can be a little melodramatic? It's discouraged, not banned. A six pack costs about a hundred bucks, cheeseburger and fries a little more. The pie is two-two fifty. The soda's the real expensive one. It's about a hundred fifty per can, but I guess since Jeer can't have beer, he sent soda too." Rob laughed at Dean's expression. It was probably hard to take in. "Poor eating habits lead to illness, which leads to poverty, which leads to crime. It started with soda, actually. Restaurants weren't allowed to serve over a certain size soft drinks because of health concerns. The price kept going up and up. Before we knew it, other things were being taken away too. It's like a snowball effect. It seems harmless until all your choices are made for you. So now, people can't afford this kind of stuff. It's a special occasion thing only."

Dean shrugged. "I guess it makes sense in a psychotically, anal kind of way." He eyed the table, suspicion obvious on his face. "So, what's the special occasion here? This a last meal before we're sent to the gallows or something?"

"Can't you stop being a smartass for even two minutes, Dean? Why's everything a joke with you?"

"What? I'm supposta take this shit seriously? Two hundred dollar pie, really? Because Rob, if I start to take it seriously, I just might not be able to deal. Instead of worrying about my personality, why don't you just explain what's going on here. Why the red carpet treatment when it's obvious that he hates my guts and thinks Cas…well, you know what he thinks." Dean glared at Rob, suddenly not completely sure he was over the earlier altercation. How the hell does someone go from wanting to shoot you one minute, to sharing beer and burger the next? And why would Castiel provide it?

"He wants you to stay." Jerrie chimed in with a mouth full of pie, washing it down with a sip of soda. "It's a bribe. Same as letting you two finish what you were doing earlier. "He's pretending he has a heart."

Dean looked her over then turned his attention back to the food. "You ever consider that maybe he does?" Cas had been sitting quietly, but he suddenly slammed his hands down on the table and stared at Dean with disbelief. "Damn it Dean, he's holding us hostage here. He knows he can't let us go back, but he also knows we'll eventually find a way and his kingdom will come crashing down. It's trickery, not concern. Why the sudden faith? Have you learned nothing from the past?"

Dean was silent for a moment, considerably taken aback by Cas' anger. "Yeah Cas, I learned from the past, _god_ knows I learned. I assumed you did too though." The words stung and Cas flinched, pulling himself away from the table. He may be unable to disappear, but he was more than capable of walking away.

"Hell no, you don't get to walk away. You're stuck here with me whether you like it or not." Dean jumped up, grabbing him by the arm just as he got to the door. "I get it, you have issues with him. But he just kept Rob from putting a bullet in my head, Cas. He obviously, at least cares about him. Someone without a heart would've let him pull the trigger. Trust me; he didn't do it for me."

"Yeah, but don't think I'm special. He'd have killed me the instant I pulled the trigger." Rob looked over at Jerrie, expecting some kind of reprimand, but she looked like she'd been stunned in to silence. Dean spoke up instead, finally releasing his hold on Cas' arm, taking a step towards Rob. "You're kidding? I thought he was just trying to talk you down or something." Rob gave him an amused grin. "There's no gray here, Dean. No playing favorites. Murder is punishable by death. I'm no exception."

It was Dean's turn to be at a loss for words. "Wow. Well, Castiel can be pretty, um… determined." Rob laughed, taking a few fries from the table. "That's putting it lightly."

"Glad to see that you find him so impressive, Dean." Dean looked over his shoulder at Cas. "I don't find him impressive. What the hell is your problem?" Cas had moved over to the window and was looking out. "My problem is that we are stuck here with him/me, being guarded by someone who apparently just tried to shoot you, but you just stand there making casual conversation like it's all no big deal. Why aren't you fighting?"

"What do you want me to do, Cas? Really, I'm sick of fighting and I don't wanna fight with you. Right now, we're all we got, so snapping at me, trying to pick a fight isn't gonna solve anything. Anyway, he didn't exactly pull the trigger. Besides, how do you expect me to take on two armed guards and a freakin angel on my own? I'm trying to figure it out." Cas pulled the curtain closed and turned back to Dean. "You're not on your own." Dean's mouth dropped open to protest, but words wouldn't come out.

Cas calmly walked over to Rob's side of the table and grabbed the bigger man by the throat. "If you ever threaten him again, Castiel will be the least of your problems. I'll rip your damn head off, powers or not." Blue eyes flashed gray. Dean couldn't move. Every muscle seemed to stop working at once. It took a startled gasp from Jerrie to jolt him out of his frozen state. "Castiel, calm down!" Dean's eyes were wide, his voice deep and loud for the first time since they arrived. Cas let go of Rob's throat and took a step back, confused by the fear on everyone's face.

Jerrie stepped over to him and put an arm around his shoulders. "You're not immune to the effects of this world, Cas. You need to calm down." She turned him away from Rob and Dean and led him to the balcony door. "Let's go get some air. It's a beautiful night and we've been cooped up in here for too long."

"What the hell was that?" Dean growled at Rob once the door was tightly shut. "Rob rubbed his neck a few times, then shook his head. "I'm not allowed to tell you much, Dean. Just…let's try not to piss him off too much. And obviously watch which laws you two break. I thought you'd be immune, but apparently I was wrong."

"Immune to what? Dude, you gotta give me something here." Dean's eyes were all but pleading with the man, but Rob just turned away. "Dean, I can't."

Jerrie walked back through the door without Cas. "He seems back to normal now. I didn't tell him what happened." Dean let out a sigh of relief and nodded his gratitude. "Thanks. Let's keep that between us for now. Nothing good will come from him knowing." They both agreed.

Jerrie gave Rob a look of disbelief after looking him over to make sure he was okay. "Defending your damn angel with words is one thing, but using a gun?" Dean felt a surge of anger at Jerrie's insinuation that Castiel was Rob's angel. He was used to having that pronoun addressed to him. "I wasn't defending Castiel. I was defending myself from his jealous hissy fit over my non-existent, girly feelings for _his_ angel." He grabbed a fresh beer and took a swallow. "I'm not gay and I'm sick of the damn boyfriend jokes from you and everyone else."

"Defending your manhood with lethal force is a little over the top, even for you, don't ya think?" Jerrie gave him a confused look. "Everyone yanks your chain about that bullshit. You never let it rattle you before." It was more a question than a statement.

"It's just been a long day, that's all." Rob sent Dean a pleading glance, hoping he would understand and not blurt out the real reason for the altercation. "Look, I apologize. Now, can we just change the subject?"

Dean raised an eyebrow, but decided that now wasn't the time to questions the man's reasons. After all, he was sort of telling the truth. "Naw man, of all people, I should've known not to make such a big deal of it. It's been a long day for me too, longer than yours, actually. I need to go check on Cas." Dean slowly got up and headed to the door. The weight of the day was starting to wear on him.

* * *

Dean stepped through the sliding glass door and walked over to Cas, softly patting him on the back. "Feeling better?" He felt a wash of relief settle over him when the angel turned around to look at him with familiar blue eyes. "No Dean, I'm not feeling better, but I am calmer. I'm fine, I shouldn't have lost my temper, and I apologize." Dean smiled. He took a half step closer and wrapped his arms around the angel's waist and pressed his lips to Cas' head in a brief kiss.

"Don't apologize. It was awesome watching you put that smug bastard in his place." Dean tightened his grip, but Cas pushed away, stepping back. "Dean, I'm not stupid. I know something happened in there that scared you too." Dean took a deep breath and reached out for the angel again. "Naw, nothing really. You just seemed a little too angelic for a dude with no powers, for a minute there. It was nothing." Cas let himself be pulled back into Dean. He liked the warmth and liked the protectiveness, even if he hated to admit it. "I know you're lying, but I trust you enough to know there must be a good reason for it, so I'll let it drop."

Dean looked out into the clear night beyond the patio wall. He could clearly see the spot that he and Cas had shared their first kiss and wondered if that was where Cas was looking when he stepped out. It was a little funny that their first kiss happened two years in the future, a future that he found beautiful and perfect, even though he knew he shouldn't. He knew this world only existed because he didn't have Cas. He knew that he couldn't have both.

A thought suddenly occurred to him. "Cas, why were you being so short with me in there? Why jump down my throat?" He realized that Cas had to see this too. The only way to create this world was for him to die and Cas to live without him and Dean was being pretty damned accepting of it.

"Because you're acting like…" Cas stopped before he finished the sentence and looked down. "Acting like what, Cas? I'm trying to be nice here, being 'Sam-like', remember. So why the attitude?" Cas looked back up and gave a small snicker. "It's nothing, you're right. I'm just frustrated and powerless and I'm taking it out on you. I'm sorry." He suddenly lost the good humor in his expression and leaned back. "But I need you to make me a promise, Dean Winchester." Dean stepped back and pursed his lips, bringing his index finger to his chin. "Okay, what is it?"

"Promise me that you won't let me become him. I'd rather die, Dean. Please promise me." Cas stared unrelentingly into Deans eyes. As if the stare wasn't enough, the sadness reflected in those eyes was enough to make Dean promise even the moon and stars if Cas had asked. Conflicted or not, it didn't matter. He'd say anything to take the pain out of those eyes. "I promise, Cas." He pulled him into his chest, speaking the words directly into his ear. "We'll find a way out of this. Me, you and Sammy will figure it out like we always do. I promise." Dean pulled his hands from around the angel's waist and placed them on his face, drawing his gaze back up. "But no one dies, you hear me?" Cas lowered his eyes and bit his lower lip. "Yeah, I hear you."

Dean leaned down and placed his lips over Cas' forcing the angel to release the tension in his jaw. They spent the next few moments losing themselves in the gentle breeze that surrounded them and the warm moisture of a tender kiss, hands merely holding each other tightly, as though the other could be taken away at any moment.

As much as he hated to do it, Dean finally released his hold, smiling as he pulled away. "Come on, let's go back inside before they come running out here screaming about public indecency or something." Dean wrapped his arm around the angel's shoulders and together they walked back into the room.

The first thing Cas did was glare at Rob, immediately trying to move out of Dean's grip, but Dean held him tight. "Calm it, Cas. Rob learned his lesson." Dean shot Rob a smirk. "It was my fault anyway. I punched him first; did a good job breaking his nose too." Cas smiled proudly at Dean causing Jerrie to laugh. Dean took a few fries from the table and stuffed them into Cas' surprised mouth as he started to make a comment. "That reminds me; I'm the only one who gets to feed you from now on." Dean laughed as Cas furrowed his eyebrows. "Possessive much, Dean?" Rob joked from across the table. "Yup, and don't forget it." Cas swallowed the fries and sat back down on the bed closest to the TV. "You are all very childish."

Dean climbed on the bed and sat next to Cas, clearly invading his personal space, handing the angel a hamburger. "Thank you, Dean." Cas unwrapped it, broke a piece off and stuck it in a very surprised, Dean Winchester's mouth." Dean nearly choked, trying not to laugh with his mouth full. "What? I was starting to assume that was the proper custom since everyone keeps doing it to me." The serious look he had on his face would have been perfectly believable if it hadn't been for the slight twitch in the corner of his mouth. "Very funny, Cas." Dean finally replied after he'd washed the food down with a gulp of beer. Cas smiled over at Dean. It had been years since he'd seen Dean so relaxed and carefree. He seemed younger, happier. Castiel had offered him something that he couldn't; peace.

"Hey Jerrie, you still haven't explained why Castiel gave Sam a two-finger lobotomy." Dean knew his tone wouldn't have been so cavalier if he didn't know that Sam was actually safely sleeping in their motel room, probably dreaming of text books and puppy dogs.

Jerrie didn't seem shocked by Dean's light attitude. "Well, I guess it was because he just wouldn't stop. He kept trying to get through to Castiel. Got kind of stalker-ish and obsessive for a while. When I asked him what the deal was, he told me that fixing Cas was the last thing he could do for you, like a last gift."

Dean looked down, a little embarrassed by his joke now. His Sam was okay, but hers wasn't. She continued. "He told me what happened before and how you kind of gave up on Castiel, but it almost killed you to do it, told me about the overcoat and drinking and stuff. He said that he'd reached Cas once before and he could do it again."

Rob got up and brought her a fresh soda and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. Dean thought the gesture was a little odd considering they were supposed to 'not' have a thing for each other. She thanked him and continued with her story. "He just kept trying to reason with him, kept telling him over and over how this world wouldn't be what you'd want, that you wouldn't have wanted him to change. Sam kept telling him that it wasn't his fault."

Dean interrupted for the first time since she began. "That what wasn't his fault?" She shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know the whole story, but according to Sam, Castiel blamed himself for not saving you… For leaving after some fight you two had, Sam didn't even know what the fight was about. That's really all I know. I think- I'm not sure, but I think that's why Castiel did it. I think Sam was starting to hit too close to home. Right before he did it, I saw his eyes flash blue, kind of the opposite of what…" Jerrie stopped herself before she accidently gave Cas information Dean didn't want him to have. As she surveyed the room, she could tell that the other two had gotten the point.

"Sam talked about you all the time, Dean. He told me that he believed with his whole heart that the two of you destroyed each other because neither of you would admit what you felt. He told me he would never kill Castiel because he was all that was left of you."

"That's when Sam just fell to the ground. Castiel had him taken away and I was sent to Rob." Rob rubbed her back. "Castiel told me to take care of her, keep her safe. Said it was important. Hell, she became the best partner I ever had. Sam trained her well, saved my sorry ass a few times." He smiled at her. "Look, why don't we clean up this mess then go for a ride. Castiel doesn't want you two to know certain things, but there's something we can show you that may put things in perspective."

"Man, I'm beat. I realize it's only about eleven here, but it was already well after two when we left our time. Anyway, isn't there a curfew or something? He was pretty adamant about us getting inside." Dean was really tired. Between the emotional crap and everything else, he was barely standing. "Dean, I know you're tired, but maybe this could be an opportunity we should take." Cas gave Dean an odd look and, although he knew Cas was thinking something, he wasn't sure what it could be.

"There's a curfew and it's past. Goes into effect at eight pm, but I think it'll be okay. You're with us and this is our usual shift." Rob started cleaning up the empty wrappers and bottles. Dean looked at him, eyebrows furrowed. "Another question: Why are there hunters when there are supposedly no monsters and what did he mean by 'the risk' you'd be putting the enforcer in that would have to clean up the mess shooting me would cause?"

Rob continued cleaning up, pausing to barely answer Dean's question. "Where we're going will explain most of that."

* * *

They finished cleaning up and Jerrie and Rob began going through their bags. "Here, take this just in case." Rob threw Dean a sawed off double barreled shotgun. Dean looked it over cautiously, noting that it was loaded and ready. Rob handed him a few spare shells and turned away. "Why are you giving me a weapon? Aren't you afraid I'll turn it on you and make a break for the border?"

"First of all, there's a curfew for a reason. We could run into trouble and I'd rather you protect yourself than expect me to play babysitter." Dean couldn't argue. "As for turning that thing on me… I was trained very well by Castiel. You won't get the chance. And sweet and flirty little Jerrie over there will have my back, not yours. Your brother trained her very well. Don't underestimate her." Jerrie smiled at him and nodded in conformation, shooting Dean a silent warning to behave. "Rob's my partner, Dean. Don't try anything. We're trusting you here."

"Fine, okay. But what about Cas? You gonna give him something?" Dean looked over at the angel who was staring at the television. He knew the angel was catching everything that was going on even if he looked like he wasn't paying attention.

"No can do. Castiel would kick my ass if I gave him a weapon." He looked over to Cas. "Sorry Cas, I just don't trust you. I know you, well Castiel anyway, too well." He added the final sentence under his breath. It was almost inaudible, but Dean caught it and shot Rob an angry glare. "If it's so damn dangerous out there, how can you not give him a freakin gun?" Rob huffed and stared back. "Relax, there are three of us. We'll make sure he's fine. Chances are there won't be anything to worry about anyway."

Dean threw the gun down. "Damn it Rob, he may as well be human. He could get hurt or…" Dean was quieted by a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to face a pretty annoyed looking angel. "You know Dean, I'm right here and perfectly capable of speaking for myself." Rob picked up the gun and handed it back to Dean, completely ignoring Cas. "Well then, I guess you better keep an eye on him."

"Fine, but if you're not giving him a weapon, you need to tell me right the hell now, what could be so bad out there. Castiel, who you say never lies, specifically said there were no monsters, no wars, blah, blah, blah… So what do we need protection against, raccoons?" Dean was mad again, tired of being in the dark and left to guess what the hell was going on.

Jerrie tried to explain. "Castiel's perception of 'monster' is a little out of whack. Mostly and literally, he's right." Cas narrowed his eyes slightly, seeming to understand something that Dean didn't for once.

"I'll be fine Dean. Stop treating me like an infant that you're solely responsible for. I am skilled in hand to hand combat. I don't need a gun to inflict damage." He looked up at Rob as though the words were meant for him instead of who they were addressed to.

Dean shook his head. "No. You usually have like, super-strength on your side. You don't have that now. Me and Rob can go, you and Jerrie can stay here and…"

"Would you like me to show you how I don't need you to treat me like an infant, Dean? You are not my parent and I am not your child." Cas shoved Dean against the wall, knocking over a lamp and causing him to drop the gun. Dean was taken by surprise and held his hands up to show that he wasn't about to fight back.

"Calm the hell down, man. Right now you're not acting like an infant. You're acting more like a spoiled teenager who wants to be treated like an adult, but is acting like a damn kid. Now back the hell off." Dean easily pushed Cas off of him and took a step around him to put Cas between him and the wall.

"Well at least I've graduated to teenager now. You underestimate me constantly, Dean. You accuse me of not being very good at things you claim to be 'awesome' at." Cas used the air quote hand gesture to drive the point home. "You are very wrong." Dean noticed a slight twitch in Cas' eye and noticed a half nod. He immediately understood. Yeah, Cas was a pretty good actor after all and this was about to become a whole lotta fun.

**I really hope you enjoyed this. Thank you so much for reading and please review if you have the time.**


	9. Divide and Conquer

**Hi again. I just wanted to say thanks for any reviews and faves or follows. Of course, thanks for taking the time to even read this. I'm having fun writing this and hearing what you guys think makes it even more fun.**

**Chapter 9: Divide and Conquer**

"You are one hard-headed, son of a bitch, you know that!" Dean pushed Cas down on the bed and quickly straddled him, pinning his hands over his head. "And you're an over-protective, pain in the ass!" Cas shot back, struggling against Dean's hold, but making no progress. "You're weak Cas! You can't even defend yourself against me and I'm barely trying." Dean released his hold and pulled himself up. "Know what, screw you. Get yourself killed, see if I care." Dean grabbed the gun off the floor and turned to Rob. "Let's go!" He didn't wait for anyone, just stalked out the door, slamming it behind him.

* * *

The forty minute drive to '_Forever With Us, Memorial Gardens_' was spent listening to Dean and Cas spout insults at each other, incessantly. Rob's breaking point came at about the half way point after Cas slapped Dean across the face for calling him a 'cloud hopping pansy', then tried to open the back door to get out while the car was still in motion. Thank god for child protection locks.

Rob slammed on the breaks and pulled the car off the road, his face beet red. "That's it! I've had enough. Dean-front seat now! Jerrie, get in the back and make sure he keeps his hands off my door knobs. Jerrie got out, having lost much of her good humor ten minutes prior. She opened the door to let Dean out and slid in next to Cas, giving him an annoyed smirk. He responded by folding his hands over his chest and turning to the closed window.

Once Dean was seated Rob put the car in gear. "The rest of this trip will be in silence. The next person to utter a damn syllable will get the butt of my gun to his skull."

After about fifteen minutes of awkward silence, they pulled up to a beautifully landscaped park. The entrance was framed with two, tall marble columns with the park's name beautifully etched into each. Rob parked the car in front of a marble and glass placard that simply read:

_**I do repent; but heaven hath pleas'd it so  
To punish me with this, and this with me,  
That I must be their scourge and minister.  
I will bestow him, and will answer well  
The death I gave him. So again good night.  
I must be cruel only to be kind.  
Thus bad begins and worse remains behind**__**.**__  
W. Shakespeare (__Hamlet Act 3, scene 4)_

Dean walked over to the placard and read it aloud, turning to the others with a bemused look on his face. "Someone care to translate that to English?" Cas rolled his eyes and huffed. "It is in English, Dean. Your lack of intellectual depth astounds me at times." Dean almost blew the whole thing by laughing at the attempted insult, but managed to keep it together. "I mean; what does it mean, jackass?"

"It's the scene from Hamlet where he kills Palonius and confronts his mother for marrying his uncle." Dean shrugged his shoulders at Rob's explanation. "And what does that have to do with anything?" Cas interrupted. "I know Castiel didn't choose this quote. While it's a beautifully written scene, it doesn't fit in here. He wouldn't choose this."

"He didn't. He had very little to do with this park, other than authorizing and staffing the construction and maintenance. The entire community worked together to build this. Every inch of landscaping, planning and designing was a group project." Jerrie ran her hand over the words etched in the sculpture. "Margaret chose this inscription." Jerrie smiled, still tracing the words with her fingertips. "When Castiel objected, spouting some crap about its inappropriateness, she simply said that _'one day it would make perfect sense'_. Maggie's kind of weird like that."

"Maggie? You mean the hot blond angel chick from the bar, Maggie?" Cas nodded his head. "More than likely, yes." Dean considered it for a moment, looking to Rob then back to Cas. "Then that means that all this..." "…Was a set-up." Cas finished Dean's sentence. "But by which one?" Dean and Cas had completely forgotten their audience until Rob spoke up. "If Maggie did anything, it was on Castiel's behalf. She does what he tells her."

"Not always." Jerrie looked at Rob and frowned, not sure if she should out her friend. "If this gets back to him, so help me, I will…" Dean interrupted. "Just spill it, Jerrie. We don't have time for angel loyalty issues right now." Jerrie bit her lip, but continued. "She just lets him think that. She does what he says, but adds her own spin on it. She's sneaky and smart. She's not his opponent Rob, so please don't go running to him and get her in trouble. She likes him and understands his actions, but it's possible that he told her to prevent this and she made it happen. I'd be the last one to defend him, but I really don't think he was happy to see you two."

"Okay, so why would she want us here?" Dean was getting tired and impatient and all the words were starting to run together now after so long without sleep. "She didn't, Dean." Castiel answered the question that seemed to be on everyone's mind. "She told me to visit the future that comes to pass if I stay with you. She wanted me to see the results of that future, not this one." Rob seemed unsatisfied with that. "Cas, even I know that Castiel wouldn't have been satisfied with half the story. He'd have to know the flip side too. If she did this, it was intentional."

"But guys, she's not evil or anything. She's more human than him, by far. She stayed here through the whole building of this park, helped plant flowers, collect data, provided lunches and beverages to workers. She didn't use angel juice to do her share of the work, either. She used her hands like the rest of us." Jerrie could see that they weren't convinced, especially Cas. "She gave me a book to read, 'Julius Caesar'. She told me that Shakespeare was her favorite human and that I'd love the story. She said that it's the story of a friendship, destroyed by betrayal and misunderstanding, characters too proud to see the signs all around them until it was too late. She said it was a shame that Caesar couldn't have been saved. I get it now. If she did bring you here, it's because she knows that he needs to be stopped before it's too late."

"That's a nice thought, Jerrie, but I don't think so." Cas smiled at her, surprised that she would be defending an angel. "Maggie's advice to me was to leave earth, return to heaven, and basically follow in his footsteps. She told me that humans are selfish, hairless apes. This wasn't two years ago, Jerrie. It was less than a day ago. She wanted me to see what happens in that other timeline. She counted on me being too upset to explore the second option. She misjudged me, I'm still an angel and I can still keep things in perspective, I am not as 'damaged' as they assumed. And I'm sorry, but you're misunderstanding the story. Brutus was wrong to kill Caesar. Caesar's intentions were never for power, they were always for the good of Rome. If she intended you to take anything from that book, it was to convince you of his innocence and that Rob is wrong to rebel. You had the correct parallel in the first place, just in the wrong context. It is Rob and Castiel she intended you to see. She is Castiel's ally, not yours and not ours."

"This just keeps getting better and better. We're all freakin pawns in another damn 'angel game' based on some not-plain-English writing that I've never read. Wonderful." Dean pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. "So, what is this place, anyway? I'm sure you didn't bring us here for a midnight picnic." Rob shook his head as if waking from a daze. "Yeah, I agree. Sorry, that was entirely too much literary talk for me, zoned out for a sec. I feel like I need a shower or something." Dean laughed and they all followed him through the metal gate that led to the main park.

"Welcome to Forever With Us, Memorial Gardens. This is where the dead are remembered now that they can no longer be buried in cemeteries." Rob watched as Dean and Cas took in the sight, thankfully stunned into silence. "This place commemorates all those who've been lost since things changed." Rows and rows of marble and glass walls lined the park, names carefully etched into them. Rose bushes, cherry and dogwood trees decorated a cobblestone walkway that wound through the memorial. A single bulb sent light cascading down each panel, giving the illusion of being lit from within. If there was an end to the rows of walls, it couldn't be seen from where they stood.

Dean took in the sight, his mouth slightly agape. "There are so many…" Rob took the cue and began to explain. "The last count was around one and a half billion lost world wide. This isn't the only park. There are similar one's scattered across the globe." Rob watched as they continued to scan the area, the weight of it slowly sinking in. "So, what happened?" Dean wasn't sure he wanted to know, considering that Rob had implied it was 'his stupidity' that caused it. "What do you think caused it, Dean? He did something and you know it." Dean didn't have to ask who Cas was referring to.

"You know, why don't you just freakin shut up with the self-hate crap. I've had enough of it." Dean took a step towards Cas, but Rob pulled him back. "No, actually it's me who's had enough… of both of you." He turned to Jerrie. "You take Cas to the north wall and we'll go the other way. I can't take anymore bickering." He threw her a two-way radio. "First sign of trouble." She nodded and the two headed off, Jerrie having to pull Cas by the front of his shirt as he glared back at Dean. Again Dean had to try to stifle a laugh.

"You know, if he gets his powers back, you might just get your ass kicked." Rob laughed and started walking. "Cloud hopping pansy was pretty vivid though."

"Let's cut past the male-bonding crap and just tell me what happened." Rob paused and nodded, motioning Dean to take a seat on a small marble bench as he did the same. "First you need to know that I met Castiel before you died, so I know his actions were sincere, not a result of your death or anything that happened between the two of you. Everything he's done has been because of this." Ron looked out into the sea of names before continuing.

"After your death, the rules of this world seemed to change. He says that your death wasn't the catalyst, but it did start immediately after that. People started changing over night. Everything unnatural disappeared except Castiel. Maggie's apparently not from this time or she would have vanished as well, at least that's what we think. Everything was gone, no explanation." He could see the questioning look in Dean's eyes. "We have no idea why Castiel was left here. He's also susceptible to the full effects of this world just like humans. Maybe there's something different about him. I don't know and I don't think he does either."

Dean just seemed to accept the answer. He knew there was something different about Cas. There were times he acted more human than Dean did and God kept bringing him back over and over, no matter what he did. Dean had been a hunter long enough to know that something was off there. "So, if the monsters were all gone, what killed all these people?" Rob took a moment before he answered. The reality of it weighing on him in a way words defied. "We did."

"Excuse me?" Dean's head shot up, he couldn't believe what he just heard. "So, Cas has been right all along?" Rob shook his head, holding a hand up in a gesture of innocence that many times he didn't feel. "We had to, there was no choice. They were different, changed." Dean could see remorse behind Rob's usual tough exterior now. He had to make similar choices himself, and it wasn't easy. It changed a person, made them cold and hard. "It was Sam who finally figured out what was causing the mutation…" A light bulb went off in Dean's mind and a memory flicked to the surface, _'We'll always end up here'_.

"Croatoan, right?" The words were quiet, almost as if he were afraid to speak them. Rob looked up, confused. "No, what's croatoan?" Rob paused for Dean's response, but continued before he could answer. "Never mind, I probably don't want to know. No, it's sin."

"Come again. Did you just say '_sin_'? Dean would have rolled over laughing if it hadn't been for the endless list of names etched in glass before him. This was too bizarre, even for their messed up, weird ass lives. These people weren't being subjugated by Castiel, they were just plain crazy. "Look man, I don't know what kind of crap you're trying to sell here, but I ain't buying it."

"I know how it must sound to you. Hell if I hadn't lived it, I would have thought it was psycho-religious bullshit, myself. But yeah, it's _sin_." There was no way to deny that Rob's eyes reflected nothing except honest belief in the words coming out of his mouth. "When people do unjust things, they mutate physically and behaviorally into living, breathing, walking, talking…demons."

Dean still wasn't convinced, or he just didn't want to be convinced. "You're telling me that all these people turned into demons?" Rob shook his head and looked around. "Most of them, overnight. We still add names on a pretty regular basis, but it's slowed down a lot since the beginning. It was a bloodbath that first night. Innocent people murdered in their homes, children mutilated and tortured beyond recognition. It was a war zone with an unending supply of a new breed of monsters. Castiel, and most people, realized that they were the victims and forbid us to refer to them as 'monsters'. We took out as many as we could and when things got under control, Castiel decided that the only way to stop it was to force everyone to 'behave'." Rob shrugged his shoulders. "He was right. When people stopped sinning, they stopped turning into demons."

To Dean's surprise he wasn't as horrified as he thought he should be. "So like instant karma or something, right?" A world where you could tell the good guys from the bad? A place where evil couldn't hide behind the mask of humanity? Seemed like it would make his job a hell of a lot easier.

"Exactly. The other way too. This world is paradise. Good people become more physically beautiful and life is good to them. This planet has been renewed. Animals that were extinct have returned. The grass is greener, sky bluer. The weather is perfect all the time, the air is clean and crisp and the water is clean." For a man describing paradise, Rob seemed a little sad about it.

"So, if Cas was right, why the rebellion; why the resistance? You have something against clean water?"

Rob laughed. He was getting used to Dean's sarcasm. "You don't think two hundred dollar pie is a little over the top?" Dean laughed now too. "Maybe a little, but there has to be more to it than that if he's been able to keep the world safe by doing what he's been doing."

"Yeah, but that's just the tip of the iceberg. People don't really have free will anymore. Every aspect of their lives are policed. All their decisions are made for them. Dean, just living a good, clean life was enough to save the planet. There are rules and more rules for the rules now. Good isn't enough for him anymore. No one gets to make their own decisions because he doesn't trust humans to make the right choices. He has no faith in humanity, thinks we're incapable of doing the right thing, yet for some reason he does it all to save humanity, like we're his pets or something. Don't get me wrong, I get that he's doing it all for the right reasons and he did save this planet from becoming hell on earth, but there has to be a limit set somewhere."

"So, he's not just' playing god' for shits and giggles then?" He hated himself for it, but it was a valid question, considering. Rob pursed his lips. He knew what happened in the past. He knew why Cas was so quick to believe the worst and why Dean had to ask the question. "If he had anything other than pure intentions, it would show. I told you, he's not immune to the effects of this world. He'd mutate as well." Dean considered it. "What about the creepy-ass eyes?" Rob took a deep breath and swallowed, not sure if he should tell, but what the hell, it was all out there now anyway. "His eyes changed when he watched you die."

Dean felt a cold chill run up his spine, goose bumps forming on his arms. It was odd how that had been the first time a reference to his death had any effect on him. He didn't know why, but knowing that Cas was there when it happened and hadn't saved him, just 'watched' him die, was like being punched in the stomach. He'd assumed the angel had left, returned after he died. "Cas was there? He was there and he let me die?"

"I'm sure he'll explain that when he's ready. I shouldn't have said anything about it." Rob was about to get up when his radio suddenly blared to life with static. "Come again, Jeer." Rob mouthed into the speaker, suddenly worried. "Your turn, Dean" came from the small speaker. Rob's head snapped up to Dean only to be met with the butt of the borrowed shot gun. "Sorry Robbie." Dean took the radio out of the unconscious man's hand and pressed the button. "Meet me at the custodian's office near the entrance."

* * *

"Pretty good acting back there, Cas." Cas smiled. "I've had to watch you and Sam act infantile for so long that I guess I picked a few things up." Dean wanted to reach out and pull the angel into his arms, so torn between begging him not to try to imitate him or Sam and begging him to never, ever change. _'He watched you die'_. The words wouldn't stop replaying in his mind, like an old recording set on an endless loop. "Good to know you're learning something from us." The grin on his face was so fake that Cas looked at him, concern evident on his face. Dean cleared his throat and lowered his eyes. "So genius, what now?"

Cas shrugged off the odd behavior, there wasn't time for it now. "First we get somewhere safe and hide ourselves from future me. After that we figure out a way to get to Sam. He's our best hope, but you need some rest first. You look exhausted."

"What good could Sam be? You said he's catatonic. No offence Cas, but you don't have the mojo to wake sleeping beauty." Cas rolled his eyes. "Thank you for reminding me of the obvious, Dean. I know I can't wake him, but I'm sure you can. He just put him to sleep, nothing more. If you were able to get through when he was possessed by Lucifer, it shouldn't be a problem here." Dean nodded. "Okay, but what's the point. He doesn't have time traveling powers, so why waste time when we should be finding a way home to the real Sam?" Dean wasn't sure he wanted to see Sam like that. This trip was bringing back too much that he'd shoved so far down that he thought he'd never have to deal with it outright. This whole thing was a three dimensional reminder that Cas isn't … Even in his head he couldn't finish the thought. Instead he heard _'He watched you die'_ and _'I'll even fix Sam'_ and _'No matter what details you change, you'll always end up here'_.

"Dean…Dean!" Cas was looking at him with concerned blue eyes. "Dean, I know you're tired, but we don't have time for naps right now. We have to get to Sam because he knows this world and the only reason Castiel would have incapacitated him is if he found a way to defeat him and end this madness." Dean blinked his eyes a few times, snapping his mind out of the endless loop of things he didn't want to hear. "Or Jerrie was right; Sam was getting through to him and he shut him up by knocking him out cold."

Cas shook his head. "I'm sorry Dean, but 'you and I' don't matter enough for him to waste the resources. He's not acting out of emotion here, only strategy." Dean narrowed his eyes. Was this world affecting Cas now? Was there some kind of 'soldier switch' hidden somewhere on him that had been turned on, one that completely shut down any human-like awareness? Or was the human-likeness all an act, all along. _'He watched you die'. 'You're not my family, Dean'. 'Like we're his pets or something'. 'Once you were my favorite pets'._

Dean shook off the thoughts, now wasn't the time. "So, you and me don't matter. Good to know where your priorities are."

"My priority is to get us home, Dean. To do that, I have to know the enemy, think like the enemy, not myself. You can't distinguish between us, but I can." Cas moved into Dean's personal space, looking directly at him. "You know why you couldn't stop me from getting the Purgatory souls? You succeeded in defeating enemies far more powerful than me, yet I obtained my goal. You ever wonder why?" Dean stared at him blankly, suddenly uncomfortable with the lack of space between them. "No, but I'm sure you're about to enlighten me."

"Because you make decisions with your heart, not your head. I can't be defeated that way, neither can future me. You would have been better to 'logic' me, instead you tried to appeal to my 'feelings' for you. Your heart is one of your best strengths, Dean Winchester, but it is also your biggest weakness. Knowing and using your enemy's weakness to your advantage is the key to defeating that enemy."

"Yeah, and your victory over me turned out so well for you." It was the equivalent of 'I told you so', but Dean didn't care. He didn't want to talk about this shit. He didn't want to deal with it or face it and he sure as hell didn't want to be blamed for it. "I tried to stop you. I begged you not to, so don't you dare blame me. No, I didn't 'logic' you: I tried using the same tactic that Sam used on me when I was acting like an idiot, the year before I went to hell. It worked on me because I loved Sammy enough to snap out of it. I thought…"

"You thought I loved you enough to snap out of it?" Cas watched Dean lower his gaze and take a step back. "I did, Dean. The problem was that I was doing it for you, or at least that's what I told myself. I was convinced it was the only way to defeat Raphael and avoid the apocalypse. The only argument that would have gotten through to me was an alternative plan to defeat Raphael. I loved you too much to allow him to win. That's why I know this has nothing to do with his feelings for you. He can separate and compartmentalize. He won't back down until he finds a way to defeat us, to get what he wants. Hurting Sam wasn't emotional, it was tactical."

"I know what you are Cas, I'm not an idiot. I know you're not human and you come at things from a completely different direction than me, but I just thought…" Dean's words were cut short by a sudden attack from the side. He was pulled backwards and slammed violently into the ground. Dean reacted quickly and got off a shot as the creature bore down on him. He jumped up just in time to watch Cas send a bullet straight through the forehead of a second attacker with a gun he'd apparently taken from Jerrie. "Cas, we have to go back. We left them defenseless." Before he'd finished the sentence, Cas took off in the direction they'd left the others.

Before they made it halfway through the field, more and more creatures emerged from every direction. "Son of a bitch! It's a damn Thriller video." Cas and Dean sent bullets flying in different directions, aim dead on. "Great idea escaping, Cas. Now what?" Dean and Cas worked feverishly to reload.

"I assumed we'd be dealing with humans based on Castiel 'not deeming them monsters'. Apparently I overlooked the fact that he might be wrong in his assessment." More shots rang out and more bodies fell, but even more kept coming. "You think, Cas?"

Dean reloaded and fired again, one more down, but about twenty to go. He reached into his pocket for more shells, but came up empty. "Castiel, some help from your feathery ass might be appreciated right now." Cas looked over at him. "I'm reloading as quickly as I can."

"He wasn't talking to you." Castiel appeared between them, a look of pure annoyance on his face. "Shut your eyes: Both of you!"

**Thanks for reading. Please review and let me know what you think.**


	10. Forgive Me for the Pain That I Cause

**AN: Hi everyone. Happy weekend. I know this is a long chapter and I'm sorry, but I had a hard time finding a stopping point. As always, thank you so much for the reviews and follows and faves and especially for taking the time to read this. You can't imagine how honored I am to have you read something I've written. Thank you and I hope you like this chapter.**

**Chapter 10: Please Forgive Me for the Pain That I Cause**

Dean and Cas both covered their eyes, instinctively crouching down. Once the light faded from beyond their eyelids Dean jumped up. "We have to get to them. They may be hurt."

"They are fine. I went to them first." Dean was too relieved to care about the fact that the damn angel cared more about Rob and Jerrie's safety than his. "You two are complete idiots and endangered the lives of not just yourselves, but two other people. You are lucky I wasn't otherwise occupied." Castiel turned around and Dean immediately looked to Cas and mouthed the word _'dick'_. Cas smiled and nodded in agreement. Of course Dean couldn't leave it at that. "Occupied doing what?" Castiel calmly turned back to him, staring directly into his eyes. "That isn't really your business, now is it?" Dean took a step forward, staring just as hard back, trying not to be completely creeped out by the unfamiliar gray that looked back at him. "No, I guess it's not, but you can step off the hero pedestal you put yourself on, though. If it wasn't for you, we wouldn't be here in the first place. You don't get to kidnap us and pretend to be our savior at the same time. You're the one who put us all in danger in the first place."

Castiel took a step even closer, a small sneer on his lips. "If that's the case, why was I the one you called?" The eyes were just too much. As much as he hated to do it, Dean had to look away. "It's called being desperate, asshat." Castiel has a full smile on his face now. "We both know that isn't true. Actually, all three of us know it isn't true. Your mask is slipping Dean and your angel is noticing." Again Castiel started to walk away.

"Look you son of a bitch, I don't know what the hell I supposedly did to you, but it can't be any worse than what you've done to me in the past. So cram the attitude up your ass with the rest of the forest you have stuck up there, you self-righteous prick." Dean was pissed at Castiel, pissed at Cas, hell he was even pissed at Sam for being the meddling pain in the ass that started all this. He wanted to fight now, to get it all out in the open, where it belonged. Castiel turned around. If it were possible, it looked as though his eyes were even grayer, colder, and deader. "You have no idea how much I wish killing you would end this." There was no doubt that those lips spoke the truth. Dean didn't just hear the hate in the angel's voice, it was almost radiating off him. Cas stepped in front of Dean and pushed him back, away from Castiel. "Dean, stop. Let's just calm down and get back to Jerrie. I need to see that she's okay. I feel bad for putting her in danger." Dean didn't care. He pushed the angel off of him forcefully, almost knocking him to the ground and got right back in Castiel's face.

"You want me dead so damn bad, just do it already. Because you know what, after seeing all this, living all this, I don't even care anymore. Everything I care about is gone anyway, so just do it." Dean stood firm, directly in front of him. Instead of striking out, Castiel turned away. "You're not worth the price." Dean chased right after him. "That's right, run away. Some things never change, do they? You're a damn coward, Castiel."

When Castiel turned around, the calm, stoic demeanor had returned to his features. "No Dean, you're the coward, the one who runs and hides, shuts the truth down the moment it becomes uncomfortable. I didn't run and hide when I realized everything I cared about was gone two years ago, that it wasn't even real, just a damn lie because I was useful. I gave everything for a damn lie. Yet here I stand, facing that lie head on." Castiel grabbed Dean by the throat with one hand and used his other hand to work some angel mojo to keep Cas pinned in one spot. Instead of squeezing, he just kept enough pressure on Dean's throat to remind him that he was very capable of making his next breath his last. "If I kill you, it will be for vengeance alone and that would turn me into the monster you already know I am. Luckily for you, this world still needs me to wear the face of an angel." He released Dean and Cas at the same time, throwing them to the ground. "Take a few minutes to get yourselves together, then get back to the place you left Rob. You have five minutes; don't make me come back and get you."

Castiel turned to address Cas personally, next. "You try another stunt and it's Dean who will pay the price. Don't think I don't know where your weakness lies." Cas got up and stood face to face with his future self. "You can't hurt him, so your threat won't work on me. You won't let yourself become a monster." Castiel closed in on him and placed a hand on his shoulder, sending a cold chill down Cas' arm. "You can wear his clothes and you can imitate his actions, but that won't change what you are; what I am. You, of all creatures know that we already are monsters." With that he was gone; not a sound except silence could be heard as he left.

Dean stood up, but didn't make a move to walk in the direction of Rob and Jerrie. Cas reached out to place a hand on his shoulder, a sign of comfort, but Dean shrugged away from his touch as if it would burn. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "Just don't. Don't touch me, don't talk to me, just…don't." Cas flinched at the anger in his voice and the resignation in his tone.

"I'm not him Dean." The words were weak, as though Cas didn't believe them himself. His future self's words rang through his ears and they were all true, every one. Dean looked back up and shook his head. "Really? Because just a few minutes ago you sounded just like him." Cas knew that was also true. He'd intended to sound like him. Castiel was strong and that's what Dean needed him to be, not the weak, powerless, not human-not angel that he'd become. "Look, we're done." Dean's words and the memories they carried with them snapped Cas out of his thoughts. "I've tried playing nice. I've tried to make you see that I really care, but I'm done. Obviously it's never gonna be enough. You are what you are Cas. Just accept it, I have"

Cas knew that when they found their way home, he would leave. He knew that now, the lesson had been taught; monster and human could never really work, it would only bring more pain to keep pretending any different. But they had to get home first. "Dean, I'm incapable of feeling regret for something I've yet to do. I'm not the one who said those things to you just now. He and I are two different beings and I know you can see that. You accepted that when you called him, instead of trusting me to have your back."

"Are you really two separate beings, Cas? Do you even believe that? Not twenty damn minutes ago you stood there and said that me and you don't matter. That was you, not him. You think that hurt any less?" Dean grabbed Cas by his shirt, his hands shaking from exhaustion, anger, and everything he couldn't put into clear thought. "Why the hell did you bring me here?" Dean released his grip, stepping back, trying to control his anger.

"I brought you here because I wanted you to see that Sam needs you. I wanted you to see that I need you and that you need me to stay, that I am still useful to you. I know now that I'm not, though. You don't need me; I'm the one who needs you." Dean couldn't help but feel sorrow for the resignation he clearly heard in the angel's voice. But that didn't change anything. He couldn't do this anymore. "Why the hell would you think you need me? Look around you, man. Are you blind? Without me you're strong and powerful. Yeah, he's a dick, but he's not evil. Learning to hate me is probably the smartest move you'll ever make." Dean's words took on a quieter tone, his eyes softening. "I only make you vulnerable and weak."

"You think that caring about you makes me weak?" Even without his powers, Cas could read Dean like an open book. Dean snapped his eyes up to Cas, the anger and frustration returning. "I think that that caring about me makes anyone stupid enough to do it, dead."

Dean couldn't hold the tears back any longer. It wasn't just a single tear, but many, almost as if one fell for each loss, each pang of guilt he carried with him behind the sarcasm. The carefully constructed wall of fake smiles and false humor was crumbling to pieces around him. Cas wanted to reach out, put an arm around him and pull him close, tell him how untrue that was. Tell Dean how he'd had given him 'life', not death. How loving him for even a moment was worth more than a millennia as a cold, unfeeling soldier. That he'd gladly trade a million lifetimes for a single moment, lost in his gaze, or a stolen kiss, or even just a simple touch.

Instead, only two simple words could escape his lips. "I'm sorry." It wasn't an apology for the cruel things his future self had said. It wasn't even an apology for all the death and heartache Dean had endured. It was an apology for not being everything that Dean needed him to be, for not being perfect or indestructible. But mostly, he was sorry for not being human. He reached out for Dean again, not because Dean needed his comfort, but because he needed Dean's. This time Dean consented and pulled him close, giving in to the warmth that he knew the embrace would bring, needing it almost as much as he needed air. Cas nestled Dean's head on his shoulder and ran his fingers through the short, soft brown strands, wishing that just once, something could be easy.

"I'm sorry, Cas. Sorry for whatever I did. I'm sorry." Cas pulled Dean's face up to his. "You don't need to apologize for something you haven't done. He is being unreasonable; you are not to blame here." Cas pulled back a little, putting some space between them. "I will leave like you asked, when we return to our own time. But right now, I need you to trust me, not him. I know you think he's the better of the two, but he's not, Dean. He will exploit your weakness and use it to defeat you. I know this because it's exactly what I would do. I need you to trust me to get us home."

As many times as he said it, realizing that Cas really would leave scared him to death and he knew right then and there that he didn't want that. "I don't want you to leave. It's wrong, it's unfair, and it's selfish, but I don't want you to leave." Dean closed the short distance between the two and pressed his lips to the other's. "I want you to be strong and powerful but I also want you to be weak and vulnerable." His hand grabbed at Cas' hair, pulling his head back to expose the angel's neck, tracing his lips over the soft slope, tongue tentatively tasting each exposed inch, the soft moan emitted from his partner, fueling his exploration. His teeth bit down, suddenly needing to taste more, to take more than he's being offered. The metallic taste mixed with the feel of warm hands grabbing, pulling, tearing at his sides, running down his chest.

"I don't care what the hell you are as long as you're mine." The only sound he could hear was the blood pumping through his veins, his heartbeat echoing in his head. He slammed the angel roughly against one of the glass panels, failing to give a damn about the inappropriateness of his actions. He pulled hard enough on Cas' borrowed shirt to send the buttons flying to the ground and dug his fingers into the taunt skin of Cas' hipbones, biting down once again on the soft, now marked skin of Cas' neck. Dean felt the angel arch into him, felt his name vibrating on his skin as Cas clung to him.

Dean moved his leg between the angel's and rocked his hips, the hardness a stark contrast to the pliant, accepting nature of Cas' willingness to comply. "Gonna make you mine, angel. Make sure that son of a bitch knows exactly who you both belong to." The words were broken, breathless, barely human. Cas froze as Dean's grip got tighter and his motions rougher. "Dean, stop." Like awakening from a daze, Cas unsuccessfully tried to push Dean back, panic overwhelming him. He could feel the cool glass behind him, drops of blood moistening his collarbone, hands firmly holding him still, then suddenly falling to the ground like a ragdoll.

"I should knock you out cold too." Cas looked up to see Rob standing over Dean's unconscious form. He was confused and a little light headed. "Dean!" Reality hit and he immediately moved to check on Dean. He was breathing, but blood pooled on his forehead where Rob had hit him. Cas jumped up to attack Rob, but was held back by Jerrie. "Calm down, Cas. He's fine. He wouldn't have been if we didn't get here in time though, and neither would you." Cas stopped fighting, realizing something bad had happened. He was confused, his head hurt. Jerrie released her hold, allowing him to stalk across the field where Castiel was standing about ten yards away.

"Heal him, now!" Castiel had lost his over-confidant façade and frowned. "I can't heal him. He'll be fine in a few minutes; he's already starting to stir." Cas was starting to panic now, nothing was what he thought. "Why can't you heal him? What did you do to him?" Castiel just turned and walked to a nearby bench and sat down. "I didn't do anything to him, not directly anyway. He'll be fine. Rob got there in time."

"Why didn't _you_ get there? Why send Rob? And what do you mean, not directly?" Castiel put a hand up to quiet Cas. "First of all, I did nothing, but my treatment of him earlier may have been a factor in what just happened, I don't know. Secondly, how could you just stand there and allow yourself to be used in such a manner?" Cas started to respond, he didn't just stand there. He was an active participant and no, he had no idea why. But anger flowed off Castiel and Cas was in no condition to fight, his body was sore, clothes torn, the amount of blood on himself slowly becoming apparent. Castiel stood and moved closer to the other. Cas flinched, expecting his very angry future self to lash out, instead he only put a finger to his head, the blood and bruises healed and his clothes repaired. "You have studied human behavior for over two thousand years. Why would it not occur to you that something may have been wrong?"

Castiel didn't answer. He just looked down, not knowing how to answer. "Do you have any idea how close you just came to, not just causing him to have to be destroyed, but getting torn to shreds yourself? Does even this, not tell you how far from acceptable your behavior has become?" Cas didn't know what was more unnerving: getting yelled at by himself, or not understanding what was happening. Castiel could read the confusion on his face. Seeing the three others walking up, he realized he needed to move it along. "He was changing, starting to become something else." Cas felt his stomach drop. A tight knotting is his chest made it hard to breath. "You're lying. How would you even know?" The other three walked up behind Cas, startling him. He looked at Dean, but Dean looked down, unable to make eye contact. Blood stained the side of his face, but he looked okay overall.

"We know Cas, because the three of us got there as it was starting to happen." Jerrie, who should have been mad as hell, put her hand on his shoulder. Cas' face dropped and the tightening in his chest worsened. "But that means…." Jerrie put her arm all the way around him. "It could mean a lot of different things, Cas. Not necessarily what you're thinking."

"Jerrie, get him back to the hotel. Try to stay conscious this time, please." His voice was oddly more full of concern than the usual bossiness that he used with her. Jerrie nodded. She was having a hard time believing that Castiel was being so nice, but wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth. "Yeah, if he didn't look so shell shocked right now, I'd kick his ass." Rob threw her the keys to his car and they walked across the field.

"You should have left him at the hotel if you felt the need for after hours sight-seeing, Robert." Castiel went from concerned to pissed the second Jerrie and Cas pulled away. "I realize that now, but I thought he should come too and see all this." Castiel took a deep breath. He looked weary, even a little sad. "I never expected that, Castiel. That was more than we've seen in a long time and they…"

"Yes, it was and if I hadn't gotten here in time the four of you would have been dead and if he dies, I die too. What were you thinking? I trust you enough to put my life in your hands and this is how you treat that trust?" Dean listened to the exchange quietly. He was torn between joining in to defend Rob and just standing quietly with his mouth shut for a change. He felt like he just went ten rounds with Tyson and didn't fare too well. He also felt a very real urge to vomit over what had just happened between him and Cas.

"I was thinking that I could make them understand; make them see that you're not what they think. They need to know so they can fix it." Rob seemed determined to convince the world that Castiel was the good guy while raising a rebellion against him, the modern day version of bi-polar if he'd ever seen it.

"You won't convince Cas. I've had two years longer to deal with my issues. It's too soon for him and circumstances are different in his case for some reason. He sees nothing except his mistakes when he looks at me, especially in this role. There's no changing it or fixing it and no sense putting everyone in danger trying to do so." Dean finally spoke, but his words were quiet, not sarcastic, and not argumentative. "You seem to have a handle on it. What makes you think he can't deal with it?"

"Sit down Dean, before you fall down and hurt yourself even further." Dean did as he was told, the dizziness was getting worse and he probably would fall over if he didn't sit down, but damn he hated to appear to be taking orders. Cas continued after Dean sat. "Because I had no choice, Dean. I'm not here because I want power or obedience. That's the last thing I want. I'm doing this because I have to. No one else can. I still have a purpose, at least for now." He turned to Rob. "Rob, I'm going to send you back to the hotel. I've sent some clean clothes over for everyone. Get some rest. I'll return Dean in a little while."

"Cas won't be happy about…" Castiel quickly lost his temper. "Does it look like I care about keeping Cas happy? Just go, or can the two of you not handle one powerless being with significantly less muscle mass than yourself?" Rob looked like a scalded puppy for a moment. "Castiel, I'm sorry. I didn't think…" Castiel cut him off again. "No, you didn't think. You're a soldier. You should have known better than to underestimate your opponent. You were stupid and I am very disappointed in the both of you. Not only have you failed me here, but I gave you a direct order to draw that sigil on Cas' hand, yet you've failed to do that as well. Apparently Dean's chronic disobedience is contagious. Do what I told you Robert. Don't let me down again." Castiel put two fingers to his head and he was gone.

"That was a little harsh, don't you think? It was mine and Cas' fault, not his." Castiel considered it and knew it was true, but Rob had been left with the duty of protecting everyone. Not only had he taken them out after curfew, he'd given Dean a gun, then allowed himself to be separated from his partner. Those were mistakes that could get him killed, but he had no intentions of explaining his reasons with Dean.

"Please don't assume that we're here to have a heart to heart, Dean. I need you to know what's happening and compel you to do the right thing, nothing more." Castiel took a seat on the bench next to Dean. Dean gave a sarcastic laugh. "Compel me to do the right thing? Did you just miss what happened back there? Because I'd rather get back to the motel and make sure Cas is okay. Can't you save the whole 'kicking my ass into submission thing' for another time?"

"Cas is fine. You didn't do anything he wasn't very happily allowing you to do. Once he asked you to stop, you were stopped." Dean wasn't going to accept that answer. "I can't even know if that's true. There's no way I would have even known if he told me to… I'm not sure it would have mattered if he told me to stop." Dean put his head down in his hands. "I have no idea what I did to you, whatever it is, I'm sorry. But I can't fix that apparently. What I can fix is back at the motel. Will you please send me back?"

"I will send you back when you've heard everything I need to tell you. You can either shut up and listen, or you can keep whining and be kept here all night." Dean inadvertently rubbed the wound on his head and a drop of blood ran down his cheek. He was tired and dizzy and really just wanted to talk to Cas, try to explain, apologize. "Fine, spill it. What do you want me to know?"

"I want you to know that there is only one solution to this situation, Dean. You need to stay here. I need you to consciously make the decision to never try to return to your own time." Dean laughed at Castiel. "Man, I'm tired and I feel like shit, but I still have enough sense to know I can't stay here. This reality will crumble or something worse. I watch TV, I've seen movies. What's the real game here?"

"There is no game, Dean. You can stay here. You will simply disappear from your time. No one will know what happened or where you've gone. Think of the Bermuda Triangle, It's similar." Dean wiped another drop of blood from his forehead. Castiel disappeared and reappeared in a split second, holding a cloth and an icepack out to Dean. Dean eyed it questioningly before holding it to his head. "Not that I think I deserve it or anything, after that, but why won't you heal me?" Cas almost felt a twitch of guilt at the question. This person next to him was so unlike his Dean in so many ways that it was difficult for him to believe that it was in fact, Dean Winchester. "It isn't important." Castiel looked away, a sure sign that this part of the discussion was over.

"So you're telling me that the Bermuda Triangle is really real? All those people are in other times?" Dean knew that the best way to get back to Cas was to continue and end the actual discussion that Castiel wanted to have. Castiel was grateful for the redirection. "Yes, but I don't have time to educate you on the technical details of time-space theory. Just take my word for it; you can stay."

Dean sucked his bottom lip into his mouth, shaking his head. "Okay, fair enough. I can stay here because I'm insignificant, even worse; dead. But what about you? Cas has to go back. As much of a dick as you've become, Rob swears you're the only thing that held the world together." And there was the Dean that Castiel remembered. It didn't take long for the humility to wear off. "You're half right. I did, yes. But sending him back would be disastrous. He can't do it. He won't do what's necessary and I can't risk him making things worse by letting him leave this time. He will destroy everything trying to prevent becoming me."

Dean still wasn't getting it. Maybe it was the bump on his head, but this conversation just wasn't getting through. "Call me stupid here, but you did it and you can deny it all you want, but you are him. If you did it, then obviously he did it." Castiel couldn't deny that the situation was hard to understand, even harder to explain. "I don't completely understand it either. He's like me before… well, before, but I changed because I had to. Now that he's seen this, he won't. The cost won't matter to him." Dean finally got it. "He's pretty tough when he has to be. I think you're underestimating him."

Castiel shook his head. "You're playing 'devil's advocate, Dean. It's not like you. He's not tough where it counts and deep down you know it. You saw what just happened. He just let you… let you do those things to him. He would have let you kill him before raising a hand to you. In the end, he'll always choose you." Dean couldn't argue. It was true, had always been true.

Castiel could tell that Dean finally was beginning to get it. "Dean, I've had to do some very regrettable things, so much more than even before. I did them because the fate of billions of people rested on my ability to make the hard decisions and do what had to be done. He won't and the world will die in blood. He, himself witnessed it in the future he visited first. He saw all the broken and torn bodies, yet his first instinct is to fall on his own sword; to save you." Dean wasn't ready to give up on his angel. "Lucifer said we'd always end up there, no matter what details we change. I still don't understand the lack of faith you have for him. We both know he'd 'angel up' if or when things got out of control. He always does."

"Not this time… because of you." Dean shook his head. "You know it's true, Dean. That's why you tried to send him away. You're remaking him in your own image and you know it will destroy him. By turning him into what you need, you make him something that you don't even want and something the world can't use." When Dean didn't respond, Castiel continued. "You want me, but you can't have me. You need him, but to get him, you have to destroy me. It's not that difficult to comprehend."

"Fine, drop the Dr. Phil crap and tell me how we make it work then." Castiel's words hit too close to home. "I stay, but he has to return. How do we get around that? It's a big hurdle, genius." Castiel smiled a real smile for the first time since Dean had arrived. "I go and I take his place. I already have a two year head start and can save more people, quicker." Dean rubbed his temples. He wasn't completely sure this Castiel was even sane. "So you just show up two years in the past and start over? You think you can retrace two years of steps? That's insane."

Dean stood up and started to pace. He couldn't just disappear. Sam was back home, he had to get back for Sam and he knew that Cas would never go for it. Even if he did want to stay here, hypothetically of course, he had a responsibility to protect Sam. "No. I won't. You may think that it's the only way, but there has to be something else. Find something that isn't crazy-ass insane and we'll talk about it. Take me back to Cas."

"Okay. Let me tell you about plan B. I go back six years and make sure Cas isn't the angel that rescues you from hell. You'll never meet him. That one detail changes a lot Dean. Keeping him from forming that original bond with you is the one fool-proof way to solve this problem." Castiel paused to watch Dean's face drop. Understanding finally sunk in. "Ah, I got your attention, good. Do I need to tell you how that story ends?"

"Yeah, you got my attention, you son of a bitch. You, of all people would allow the apocalypse to happen? After everything, you would really do that?" Dean worded it as a question, but he knew the answer already. Something was broken in this Castiel and he wasn't gonna be able to fix it. "Yes, I would. The casualties are a little higher, but at least it has an end. This doesn't. It's a slow, continuous descent into the extinction of humanity."

Dean turned around. "This is paradise. So what if people have to act decent and follow rules? At least here you can tell the good guys from the bad. Here you do the right thing or pay the price. Like I said, paradise." His thought finally betrayed him. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't see what was happening here as a bad thing. Castiel got up and moved to him, crowding him. "So was the outcome of the apocalypse. The difference is that Heaven, Hell, and Earth are all mashed together here, Dean. Instant judgment, personification of sinfulness. This is paradise with a price and it could turn into hell on earth overnight. I've provided a band-aid, not a cure. Human nature is sinful by definition. Humanity is not meant to be 'black and white, it's against its very nature." Castiel moved even closer and watched as Dean swallowed an uneasy lump in his throat. The closeness obviously uncomfortable. "Stay here in what you call paradise with the Cas that loves you and wants to be with you; or return to Armageddon, your choice."

"What happened to you man? When did you become just like the rest of them?" Dean took a step back. What he was facing, the person in front of him, it wasn't Castiel anymore, not the one he knew. It was just another one of god's soldiers. Cas was dead in this future too, he just didn't realize it.

"I became like them the day I realized I was nothing like them. It took everything to get me here, including you. You have forty-eight hours to decide or I take that trip to the past. I'm sure Michael would love to have some of the information I possess. I don't make empty threats. This is how you get everything you want, Dean. You get paradise and your angel. You get to keep that promise you made to him. You can have everything you want, I will personally see to your happiness. You have two days."

**Thanks again for reading. I'd love to hear what you think so far.**


	11. All the World's a Stage

_Sorry this took a while. I'm actually in the middle of moving and things are a little hectic around here. I absolutely hate moving. I hope you like this chapter and sorry again for the delay. It won't happen again, I promise._

**Chapter 11: All the World's A Stage and Everyone Has a Part to Play**

"Why are you doing this to yourself, Castiel? Why are you here? This place only causes you pain." Castiel felt Maggie place her hand briefly on his shoulder, but didn't turn around. His gaze remained fixed on the field in front of him, the flowers he'd created as a memorial blew gently in the breeze. Even by moonlight alone, the field of flowers seemed to possess its own inner light, darkness never touched it. "This is where I let him die, I deserve to feel pain."

She moved around and placed both her hands on his shoulders. "You couldn't save him Castiel. You shouldn't blame yourself."

He shook her hands off his shoulders and moved away, looking down at his hands. "I tell myself that over and over, but it feels like a lie. It felt like a lie then and it feels like a lie now. I don't expect you to understand."

"Is that why you're punishing them now? Castiel, hasn't he been through enough? Haven't you been through enough? Tell him what you know, I'm begging you. Give him a chance to do it right." He turned to her and exhaled a deep breath. Seeing the concern in her eyes only mirrored the conflict that he felt, himself. He couldn't let her look at him; see the weakness behind the mask.

"You know why I'm doing this Margaret. Do you think I take pleasure in causing them to suffer? They can be happy here. I would make sure of it." He turned away once again, but she moved around to face him, ignoring his determination to avoid eye contact. He shook his head. He couldn't give her the answer she wanted. "I can't, Margaret. You know what happens; even if he does do what you think is the 'right thing'. It was one thing for me to choose Dean Winchester over myself, but I can't choose him over the world, especially now that I know the truth."

"Are you really that sure they shouldn't be together? You have no doubts at all?" Her words were soft, not judgmental even though the doubt was plastered all over his face.

"No, I have no doubts. You saw what just happened. It seems pretty clear to me." The anger and hardness that had temporarily been replaced with doubt and longing, returned to his tone and features.

She shook her head in a gesture of disbelief, unsure when he'd learned to lie so easily. "What I saw was you manipulating circumstances in a world you have learned to control, Castiel."

Castiel turned away from her, hiding the shame he felt. "I told him that my actions may have been a factor in what happened. I never lied."

She smiled at him and stifled a laugh. "Lies spoken with true words are still lies, Castiel. Every piece of evidence shows that he truly loves Cas and by extension, that your Dean truly loved you. Why won't you see that?"

"My memories are all the evidence I need, Margaret. What's more important here; fixing the mess this world is in or Dean Winchester's sexual desires? You say I control this world, but I don't. I wish I could. All I did was add a little pressure, he did all the rest all on his own. If I hadn't had Rob and Jerrie babysitting them, it would have happened sooner only no one would have been there to stop it."

"Yet you sent him straight back to that angel to give him a chance to fix it, encouraged him to believe that there's hope. If you're so sure there's not, why not just keep them apart? Don't you think you're playing with fire here? You really think keeping them here, knowing what will eventually happen if they do, is the only way?" She looked him straight in the eyes. "You said they could be happy here, Castiel. That tells me that you know Dean is not lying about his feelings. They couldn't be happy together here otherwise."

"I also said that I would see to it. I never said it would be real. I'm still an angel and being the only angel has its advantages." He stopped suddenly, knowing he'd said too much.

"Happy? Like Sam is happy right now? That's what you're talking about, right?" She stepped right in front of him, placing her face within an inch of his own. "Sam is lying in a bed, slowly dying while he dreams of final exams and the perfect life he's always wanted. What you've given him is not happiness, Castiel. It's a trick employed by monsters to suck the life out of their victims while they slowly die. The dream you've given him is death, not happiness. That's what you plan to do to them too?"

"I guess the alternative would be more pleasing to you? He would have had to be killed, Maggie. This world does not care about a person's circumstances, only their actions." Castiel took a deep breath that he really didn't need. "Should I have let him become a monster because he couldn't stop needing his brother? Because I couldn't be the angel he needed? He is happy. Maybe it's not real, but it's better. If I could keep Dean and Cas apart I could wake him up and Sam and Dean could be happy here for real, but Dean is never going to give up Cas."

"Because he loves him, Castiel. They can all be happy for real, together, in their own time." Maggie couldn't understand why Castiel couldn't see what was right in front of his face.

"Dean Winchester does not love that idiot. My Dean did not love me. Only fools believe in such nonsense anyway." Castiel's eyes suddenly turned darker, angrier. "This is my problem, not yours. I will handle it in the way I see fit. Right now, I need that sigil on Cas' hand. He'll never let Rob do it, but he will let Dean. If false hope gets that done, so be it. I have to do the right thing even if it causes pain, even if you think I'm a monster. I was the one left here alone to pick up the pieces of this broken world. I'm a part of this world, you are not. You can always leave, I can't. Why are you even still here?"

"Love is not nonsense, Castiel. God is love. You were created by pure love. Perhaps that is why you could never find our father. You weren't looking in the right place." Maggie knew that pushing him could be a bad idea, especially discussing their father, but this determination he had to 'fix' the world at any cost was worse. "Have you even asked yourself why it is that you were left here when every other angel was sent away?"

"I do not need to ask that question, Maggie. We both know why I was left here. The same reason I'm not allowed to die. I'm being punished and will continue being punished until the end of time, being forced to pretend I'm Warden when all I really am is another prisoner. I will never know peace." Castiel turned to leave, but changed his mind and turned back to Margaret. "Go back to your own time, Margaret. No one needs your interference, or as you call it, 'guidance'… and take your faith in our father's love, with you when you go."

Castiel disappeared without a sound and Margaret looked out into the field of sunflowers in front of her, shaking her head solemnly. "I'm sorry Castiel, but I think you do. I think you all do."

* * *

Dean found himself back in the hotel room again with three pairs of eyes staring straight at him. He could feel the judgment in their stares and it was only amplified by the silence. "Look, I don't need any more crap for one night, so whatever it is you think of me, get over it."

Jerrie got up and gently patted Cas' back. "See, I told you he'd come back in one piece. Castiel didn't even beat the attitude out of him." She was looking at Cas, his face a mix of relief and embarrassment.

"Did he explain everything to you?" Rob sternly spoke from his seat at the table, gun laid out in front of him. The tension in his posture wasn't lost on Dean.

"No, the son of a bitch just threatened to change the outcome of the damn apocalypse if I don't agree to stay here." Dean walked over to the table and took a seat. "Sorry Rob, but your BFF's little more than a self-centered, douche bag with a damn hero complex." Rob looked like he'd been kicked in the gut and Dean felt a brief moment of sorrow for the guy. "Look Rob, I'm sorry we got you in trouble. He sounded a lot like my father there for a sec. "

"He was right. I screwed up and almost got us all killed. I deserved it, it's no big deal." Rob looked dawn and started fiddling with his gun.

"Take it from me man, that kind of thinking's a one-way ticket to nowhere good. You didn't deserve it. It was our fault and he knows it. He's a self-absorbed bully. I get it, you're a grown man and don't need me telling you any of this, but that dick has you convinced he's some kind of white knight you need to follow around like a puppy dog."

Rob nodded, and pushed the gun aside. "I appreciate the concern, but it's not necessary. I'm not an abused puppy huddling in some corner. I messed up, plain and simple. Leave it be." Rob got up and tucked the gun into his belt, walking over to Cas. "I have to draw something on your hand or Castiel will get pissed. I am begging you not to make me use force." He nodded to Jerrie who immediately got up and moved between Cas and Dean, a very clear gesture that Dean would not be interfering. "All it will do is bind your powers while he has to be away. It's no big deal and once he returns, I can remove it."

He reached out for Cas' hand, but Cas immediately pulled away, jumping up and moving across the room, braced to fight. Dean started to get up, but Jerrie pulled her gun and chambered a round. "Sit back down. No one's gonna hurt him, but I will hurt you if you don't sit back down." Dean put his hands up in a showing of surrender. He was pretty sure he could take her, but she was trained by Sam, it could prove to be more difficult than it looked and even if he could take her, he'd still have Rob to deal with.

"Rob, If he's going somewhere beyond this reality, this is our chance to get away." Cas moved further away from Rob, almost expecting the man to pounce. "If we can get back, we can change all this, fix it. You can't deny us this chance." Cas looked at the paper in Rob's hand. The look of terror on his face couldn't be denied.

Dean watched as Cas backed away from the much bigger man, only inches until he backed himself into a wall. Dean could almost feel the fear radiating off the not-quite angel and hated himself for what he was about to do. He knew it was a kind of betrayal and Cas would probably never forgive him, but it was a chance he had to take. He held his hands up once again and stood. "Guys listen, there's no need for anyone to get hurt here, okay. I'm not gonna make a move on either of you. Just hear me out." Jerrie stood down and let Dean move towards Rob, still unwilling to let him near Cas.

"Look, I need to talk to Cas… alone. I get that we messed up any kind of trust you might have had for us, but… I get it now, okay." Dean rolled his eyes between Rob and the paper he held in his hand and gave him a half-nod. "Can we just go for a walk or something? I saw a pool, maybe we could go there. I'll only be doing what Castiel asked."

Rob slowly and suspiciously handed Dean the paper and the hotel keycard. "Don't leave the grounds. There aren't any sigils to ward against humans so just be careful." He threw Dean the shotgun. "Just in case."

Dean eyed the gun and smirked. "Underestimating your opponent again?"

Rob rolled his eyes and frowned. "Just go. You have twenty minutes before I come looking." He threw Dean one of the walkie talkies from his bag. "If there's any trouble." He was grateful to have Dean lift the burden of the task at hand. The fear in Cas' eyes was almost more than he could take.

* * *

Dean used the keycard to unlock the door to the pool area. It was a decent sized indoor pool and there was even a hot tub in the corner of the room. He led Cas to one of the small reclining chairs that lined the room and motioned for him to sit down. "What do you want to talk to me about? Why bother when you've already made up your mind? I can tell. Your signals to Rob didn't go unnoticed. I don't see what there is for us to discuss."

"We need to discuss whether or not he can actually pull off his threat to keep you from saving me from hell." Upset or not, he was gonna have to make Cas cooperate, even if it ended everything between them. Castiel was right, the world was more important. "Can he actually do it?" He found it telling that he didn't ask if he 'would', only if he 'could'.

"In theory, yes." Cas wasn't gonna give Dean anything without a fight. "How can you ask me to do this, Dean? How can you expect me to sit here and converse with you when you've taken their side? I knew that you doubted me, but I never thought you'd trade me for him. By putting that symbol on my skin, you change who and what I am."

"Forget about the damn paper for a minute, Cas. Yeah, I think we need to play ball here, but I wouldn't do anything to hurt you." The look Cas gave him went straight to the part of him that knew his behavior in the park had to hurt, considering the implications. He knelt down in front of Cas and put a hand gently on his knee. "Look, I'm sorry for earlier. I don't even really know what it means, but what I do realize is that you were right. This is so much more important than me and you. We need to know if he really can follow through on his threat."

Cas' anger subsided a little by the look of defeat that he saw on Dean's face. A big part of him knew that he was acting a lot like a child, but damn it, they were treating him like one. He felt like the prisoner that all the guards felt sorry for. Like he was some kind of fragile flower that would wilt if you touched it. He hated the way everyone, including Dean, was patronizing him. "I'm sorry that it's true. It is more important, but you deserve more, Dean. You should be the most important thing. I'm sorry I can't give that to you right now, but I will make you a promise. When we get out of this mess, I will do everything in my power to make that happen." Cas put his hand over the one Dean had on his knee. "I'm not upset about earlier. You and I are too complicated to even begin to understand what happened out there. But Dean, please stop treating me like this. I'm trying to deal with all of this and it's difficult enough without you adding insult to injury by constantly reminding me that I'm helpless."

Dean nodded. "Tell you what, I'll do my best to back off if you stop being so stubborn about everything, especially future you. Dude, you won't even try to see his side and that's not any less pig headed than stomping your feet and threatening to tattle to big brother, Michael." He had been treating Cas like a helpless little kid and he knew it, but Cas should be used to it by now. This wasn't any new part of Dean's personality that no one had seen before. He protected the people he cared about, it was his job. The small smile on Cas lips was enough to give him the okay to continue. "Please tell me that he can't freakin jump back in time and change the apocalypse." Dean appreciated Cas' understanding about earlier (even if he didn't, himself), but if Cas' future self did what he threatened, none of it would matter anyway.

"There's a reason that even Raphael didn't try that. If it were really that easy, any of them would have done it. At best, he'd confront Michael with everything and I'd immediately be executed for disobedience and he'd be executed for attempting to alter the past. Both are punishable by death. Of course it would be 'past me' they would kill, effectively exterminating 'now me' and 'future me'. The only reason Balthazar and I were able to do it a few years ago was because the outcome of the apocalypse changed the hierarchy in heaven, leaving chaos in its wake." Cas saw Dean relax as though he believed that Cas was telling him that it couldn't be done. "That's not to say that Michael wouldn't act on the information and the past would be radically changed. But you and Sam are surprising. There's no way to know that you wouldn't stop it even without my assistance. Chances are that you would. Better yet, nothing I did after that would come to pass and a lot of damage would be avoided. It could be a good thing." Cas lowered his gaze from Dean. He knew that Dean was so damn pig-headed that he'd never even consider the pluses in the scenario. "To answer your next question; yes, I think he's desperate enough to do it, but there is a reason that changing that past is forbidden. It will be a last resort."

Dean stood up and turned around. He couldn't look at Cas right now. "You just don't get it, do you? Do you really think that you're that damn insignificant? Do you think I've been playing games here?" Dean turned back around, eyes watery and red from exhaustion and aggravation. "Without you, I would have said 'yes' to Michael. There is no debate there. I wasn't strong enough on my own and I had even lost faith in Sammy. You were a big part of what held me together back then. It took all of us, Cas… Me, Sammy, Bobby, and You. The apocalypse will happen if he does what he threatened." Dean's decision had been made; there was no need for forty-eight hours. Now all he had to do was figure out how to betray the only friend he had left. "We have no choice. We have to do what he wants." Dean hoped that one day Cas would understand.

Cas stood and moved to his side. "We do have a choice, there's always a choice. We can fight him. You give up too easily sometimes." Cas put his head down. "But this isn't about you, is it? You agree with him. You think I'm too weak. You wanted an excuse to give up and now he's given you the perfect one. This is Michael all over again only this time it's not Sam that you've lost faith in, it's me."

It almost scared Dean that he was so easy for the angel to read. "I think you feel like shit for what you've done and refuse to forgive yourself, yeah. I think that the guilt you carry is killing you, but I don't think you're weak." The words were true. He knew that Cas had changed since they'd fist met in that old barn all those years ago, but so had he.

Cas actually snorted. "Dean, even without my powers I can still read you. While they're not as clear as before, I still know how you feel. I know your facial expressions as well as I know my own. At least extend me the courtesy of being honest." The words were hard, but the tone, kind and forgiving.

"Okay, you want the truth, here it is. Yeah, I worry about you, okay. You don't act like yourself anymore." Dean looked away, searching for words that were all jumbled up in his head. "You imitate me or Sam and it kind of creeps me out. It's like you're still lost. Excuse me if the whole bee watching, pacifist, crazy guy is still stuck in my head."

Cas found this funny for some reason. "Are you really afraid I'll go crazy again?"

"No. I'm afraid you'll become the 2014 Cas that I saw when Zachariah sent me into the future." Cas tilted his head, knowing it was ridiculous for Dean to think he'd resort to drug use or indiscriminate sexual behavior.

"Dean, you're being silly. I'd never do those things." Cas moved into Dean's personal space and smiled. "I've been around a very long time, Dean. I'm not an adolescent that you have to lecture on the dangers of drug and alcohol abuse. And please don't start another argument about me preferring women. The future isn't set in stone. Every single choice we make, regardless of how insignificant we may think it, decides our futures. I thought you learned that."

"I'm not talking about the damn drugs or chicks, Cas. Hell, that was… different, but I could deal with it. It's you that scared me. Using my lines and…" Dean hesitated. He'd never admitted what he saw his future self do, he wishes he could forget the broken man he'd become. "Cas, in that future, I knowingly used you as a decoy. I sent you to your death without even blinking." He watched Cas nod as if he already knew all this. "You know?" Cas nodded, but didn't speak, so Dean continued. "You knew, Cas. You knew I was sending you in there to die, but you just followed my orders without a word. As much as I hate to admit it, he's right. In the end, you'll always choose me, even if it's the wrong choice."

After a too long period of silence, Cas finally spoke. "You think that's so wrong; my choosing you? Did it ever occur to you that maybe it wasn't the wrong choice?" Cas knew it was a waste of breath. He knew that Dean would never believe that he may be worthy enough to be put first. He was the protector, the one who made the sacrifices. "We have a chance to get out of here, Dean. We can trick him into thinking you did put that sigil on me and get home, fix this mess. Me, you, and Sam… Remember? The three of us can fix this."

Dean raised an eyebrow and gave Cas an amused grin. "Do you really think you're stupid enough to fall for that?" No Cas, sorry but we can't expect to get out of this in one piece unless we have all the information. We both know you're smart, Cas. You commanded the armies of heaven. There's a reason he doesn't want to send us back and we need to know why." He raised the paper and pen to Cas. "This is how we do it. We play his game and beat him at it. I'm just taking your advice; to defeat our enemy, we have to know him."

Cas was more than a little unsure about this, the sigil would leave him even more vulnerable, but he trusted Dean. Without much hesitation, Cas held out his left hand, palm down. "Okay Dean, because I have faith in you." Dean reached out and held it in his own. Before Dean could begin drawing, Cas put his other hand over Dean's. "Just promise me that you'll at least try to find the same faith in me."

Dean nodded, leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to Cas' mouth. "I do have faith in you." Dean drew the sigil and said the words that appeared to be Enocian. For a brief second, the mark lit up as if glowing before disappearing into Cas' skin. Once the light completely faded, Cas dropped. Dean barely caught him before he fell to the floor. He called his name, shook him, hollered at him, but nothing happened. All Dean could do was hold him in his arms, panicked that he had just made a very bad decision. He calmed himself long enough to notice a shallow breath and faint pulse so he laid Cas down on the lounge chair and ran his fingers through Cas' soft hair.

"Castiel, get your ass here now!" Dean looked around, but nothing happened. He waited another couple of seconds, glancing down at the unconscious angel. He moved his hand over the top of Cas' and noticed how the faint lines of the now invisible sigil glowed under his touch, disappearing again as he moved his hand away. Dean stood up and moved closer to the door, gun in hand and cocked. "Castiel, you son of a bitch, get here now or I'm heading out this door and using Rob and Jerrie for target practice." Dean had no idea what was wrong with Cas. While he didn't really want to hurt Rob or Jerrie, there was no denying that he'd do what it took to get Castiel there.

"I do not exist to be at your every whim, Dean." Dean jumped then turned to face the very aggravated looking angel.

"What the hell did you do to him? Fix him, now!" Dean pointed to Cas, still laying in the exact same position he was left. Castiel turned around and smiled.

"There's nothing wrong with him, he's just sleeping. Humans need sleep, you know." Cas' words finally hit Dean; '_you change what I am'_. Castiel watched with interest as Dean's mouth fell open. "He'll be fine, Dean. Technically only my father can truly make him human, but this is the next best thing. You might actually enjoy it."

"He better wake up or…"

"Or you'll what, Dean? You're really not in any position to make demands. He will wake up. I wouldn't do anything to actually hurt myself." Castiel waited for Dean to comment, but when he was only met with silence, he started to leave. "If there's nothing else, I have things to do. Enjoy your _not _angel."

"Wait." Dean was quickly recovering his thoughts. "You want me to do what you want, but I have a condition." Castiel nodded and waited for another demand to erupt from the hunter's lips. "I want to know why you hate me. I need to know. You either tell me now or you can go ahead and set up that dinner date with Michael. Have your damn apocalypse."

"Still putting your genitalia above the well being of the planet?" If Castiel knew one thing about Dean it was that when he wanted something, he didn't stop till he got it. They were a lot alike that way. It made for an interesting chess game. "I won't tell you, but I will show you. Tomorrow afternoon I'll take you with me and you can see for yourself. I suggest you get him back to the room before he catches a cold or something." Castiel disappeared without another word.

Dean hollered to the empty room. "You could have at least helped me get him to the room, you son of a bitch."

Dean leaned down and lifted Cas out of the lounge chair. The moment he took a step, Cas woke up, confused by the situation. "Dean, why are you carrying me like a girl?" Dean smiled, glad that Cas had woken up so he wasn't faced with the embarrassment of carrying him over the hotel threshold like some newlyweds. Dean was nudged out of his thoughts by Cas, struggling to get out of Dean's arms.

"Hey, calm down before I drop you on your ass. You're not exactly as light as a girl, you know. Might wanna tell Jerrie to stop feeding you so many cheeseburgers." Dean put him down and took a step back, giving him room to straighten his rumpled clothes. After he finished, the scowl on his face almost made Dean laugh, but he stifled it, knowing Cas was pissed enough already.

"I am not a damsel in distress, Dean. I thought we agreed that you'd stop treating me as such." Dean rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Well, Sleeping Beauty, you're the one who wouldn't wake up. Maybe I should've just dragged you behind me by your hair, caveman style. Would that have worked better for you?"

Cas smiled up at him, the sleepiness apparent in his eyes. "Don't even think about it." He grabbed Dean's hand and pulled him along. "Come on Prince Charming, let's get some sleep. We can continue to argue about suitable ways to carry me in the morning."

They walked into the room hand in hand, Dean was more than happy. Maybe Castiel wasn't being a smartass, dick when he implied that Dean might like 'human Cas'.

There was a silent question lingering on Rob's expression when the two walked in. Dean nodded to him slightly in affirmation. Cas threw him a look of disapproval before plopping down on the bed and rolling over into the pillow and blankets.

"Cas… um, before you fall into another coma, I need to tell you something." Cas sat up and glared at him, sure that he was going to be very unhappy with what he was about to hear. "When Castiel leaves tomorrow afternoon, I'm going with him." Cas started to speak, but Dean didn't give him the chance. "No argument, Cas. I'm going. There are things I need to know and he's agreed to show me. That's all. End of discussion."

"Cas, Castiel won't hurt Dean. He's a self righteous dick, but…" Jerrie but her lower lip, almost choking on the bile she felt forming in her throat at the thought of defending Castiel. She forced herself to continue because Dean needed to know what she was sure Cas was going to show him. "Cas, he loved Dean. I don't think even he'd deny it. He still does. That's why he's being a dick towards him. Maybe if Dean knows what happened, he can do it differently, fix it. Sam was sure that it had something to do with everything else, even if Castiel denies it. Sam was pretty smart."

"It's nice that you have the decency to pretend that I have any say in the matter, Jerrie. Whatever, I don't care." He looked over at Dean. "Have a nice trip. Don't forget to pack your toothbrush." Cas laid back down and turned to the wall with his back to Dean and pulled the covers up over his head.

Rob got up from the table and laid down on the other bed with Jerrie, being very sure to stay above the covers. "For a couple of guys who are supposta be 'in love' or whatever, you sure don't act like it… at least he don't." Rob motioned toward Cas.

"Yeah well, it's not usually like this." He paused a second. Rob's words finally hitting him. "And who the hell said anything about lo...?" Dean let the rest of the word drop from his tongue and shook his head. He didn't really have the energy to put into a big display of denial. Truth was; he did love the asshole, even if he wasn't capable of saying the word out loud. He knew why Cas was being a dick, and he really couldn't blame him. He'd be acting the same way if he found himself dependant on another person and turned into a lower species. Human are just 'hairless apes' to most angels, after all.

Dean turned off the light and climbed into bed with his angel. No matter what happened, that's what Cas would always be…his angel, powers or not. He definitely wasn't going to let his angel go to sleep mad, well at least not at him.

Dean got under the covers and scooted as close to Cas as he could possible get, draping his arm around Cas' waist to pull him closer. Cas moved to get away without any luck. "What are you doing, Dean? Let me go."

Dean moved his mouth over the angel's earlobe and nipped it gently. "I'm cuddling. Deal with it and go to sleep." He worked his lips down Cas' neck, amused by the goose bumps that formed with his touch. He traced a line of soft kisses as he worked his way around to the back of Cas' neck, placing a final kiss just below his hairline.

Cas tried half-heartily to move away, but Dean held him tighter, playfully working his hand under Cas' cotton shirt. Cas' pushed at his intruding hand and held his shirt down. "No, I will not deal with it. I'm mad at you, or have you forgotten that already?"

Dean kissed his neck again and moved his hand gently over the top of the shirt Cas was holding down. "Nope, haven't forgotten…just don't care." He laughed, then lightly bit down on the soft skin between Cas' neck and shoulder, causing the angel to jump and turn around suddenly to face Dean.

"You are an annoying, pain in the ass. If I had my powers, I'd…" Dean cut his words short by covering Cas' lips with his own.

When he pulled away, Cas moved to chase his lips, not wanting the kiss to end. Dean smirked. "You wouldn't do shit and you know it. Now quit over compensating already and settle down."

Cas huffed. "You would know all about over compensating." Cas attempted to turn back around, but Dean wrapped his arms around him and trapped him there.

"Nope, you're caught now. The way I see it, you have two choices: You can cuddle and get some much needed sleep, or you can keep being a bitch and I keep harassing you all night long… your choice."

Cas smiled at him and copied Dean's earlier movements, placing soft kisses along Dean's jaw line, stopping at his ear. "Maybe I'm enjoying your harassment."

That was all Rob could take. "Ugh… Would you two break it the hell up already so we can get some sleep." Jerrie laughed and smacked Rob with a pillow. "Shut up, Rob. At least it's better than having to listen to them bicker like an old married couple."

Rob huffed and threw her pillow back at her. "No…. really, it's not." There wasn't a whole lot of humor in his voice.

Dean looked at Cas and nodded his head towards Rob. "I don't think that Rob's too thrilled with my harassment, so just give in and cuddle already before he gets even grumpier."

Cas cocked his eyebrow and groaned. "Okay fine, I'll cuddle, but I'm only doing it for Rob." Cas laid his head on Deans shoulder and practically purred when Dean wrapped his arms around him.

Rob huffed again from his side of the room. "Thank God, we can finally get some sleep. Tell me though, since when does the infamous Dean Winchester want to cuddle? No offense, but from the stories I've been told, seems a little out of character. Just saying…"

Dean ran his fingers over Cas' back, thinking a moment before answering. "Yeah, well… Dean Winchester is dead here. I can be whoever I want now." The answer was met with an uncomfortable silence, but Dean just pulled Cas closer, gave him one last kiss on the top of his head, and fell asleep lavishing in the unfamiliar feeling of peace.

_Hope you enjoyed. Please review and let me know your thoughts._


	12. Chapter 12

_AN: Hey everyone. Finally got everything squared away with moving and everything. I took a little longer with this chapter because I had to improvise quite a bit because I made a change a few chapters back without realizing how it would effect later chapters. I also had to do a lot of the editing on my new Window's Surface because I've had to do a lot of traveling lately. It's a great device, but I'm really not completely used to it yet. It's great though, a tablet that can run a fully useful version of Microsoft Office. Who could ask for more? (I sound like a commercial). I've re-read this several times and think I found all the mistakes, but I always miss some...sorry. I hope you enjoy and I'm about to get right on typing up the next chapter. _

**Chapter 12: What's Life without a Little Disillusionment?**

The morning sun gently seeped through the sheer, cream colored curtains that led out to the small balcony. Dean carefully pulled himself away from the still sleeping angel and quietly got out of bed. For the first time in a very long time, if ever, he woke with a smile. It was a real smile, not just the painted on grin that he'd been wearing as a cover for too many years now. He wondered how many people out there got to wake up feeling this way every day and how he'd ever lived without it.

He slowly turned away, stretching his muscles as he stepped out through the sliding doors. The view was breathtaking. The park across the street was already full of kids running and playing, not a care in the word while mothers sat on benches watching the children with adoration and devotion. He smiled when his eyes fell on a couple of elderly guys playing a game of dominos on a picnic table, coffee and what looked like donuts close at hand. He wondered briefly if donuts were still reasonable priced, but then tossed the thought away. The geezers probably invested well and had stacks of cash stuffed in their mattresses, he couldn't blame them for blowing some on a few empty calories.

He breathed in the clean morning air, no stench of smog or mold, just clean, easy air. It was perfect. Dean's smile grew even wider when he felt Cas gently wrap his arms around his waist from beyond. Cas always had a way of sneaking up on him, but this time he didn't jump, simply melted into his arms. "Sam was wrong, you know." Dean's words broke the quiet, but his eyes never moved from the horizon.

"I know, Dean." Cas held him tighter and placed a soft kiss on his shoulder. "Of course I know."

"He-you-this, it's my perfect world, the one that only existed in my dreams. The part I had to keep hidden…until now." He turned around, eyes pleading for understanding. "It's like a fantasy, Cas. I don't want to want this, but I do. I get there are issues here, but we can all be happy here. For once we can all just be happy. Me, you and Sam, together."

The words and soft pleading in Dean's eyes almost broke Cas' resolve. He felt a pain course through his all-too-human heart that felt incredibly similar to being stabbed. The man wrapped in his arms wasn't his Dean. His Dean was dead here and Dean's Cas was a monster here. Cas had no idea how to fix any of it. "Dean, you do realize that this place is no more real than the one you dream about, right?"

"Yeah…I mean, sort of. I know that we don't belong here, but I'm not so sure I care." Dean pulled Cas closer into his chest. "Cas, I want to stay." The words were soft, almost as if he were afraid to speak them. "It's not because of his threats or because I'm giving up."

Cas inhaled a breath and swallowed down the persistent guilt he felt deep down. All this was his fault. Again, he made a mess of things. "I know you want to stay. You didn't need to say the words." He pulled away from Dean's hold slightly, looking softly into his eyes.

"I'm tired Cas, tired of fighting. I'm tired of seeing monsters behind every corner. I'm tired of all the lies and mistrust, the constant worry that you or Sam will…" He let the words drop off and took a deep breath.

The implications of the last, unfinished sentence weren't lost on Cas, but he couldn't blame Dean for the thought, instead he tried to lighten the mood. "Dean, there are insurmountable complications if we try to stay here. We can't stay. We really don't belong here." He tilted his head slightly and smiled. "Could you really live without pie? Because I can't afford it and I highly doubt that credit card fraud is considered a valid occupation here."

Dean smiled. "You could learn to bake pies. I could get a job and you could stay home and…"

Cas interrupted before Dean could finish the offensive comment. "I do not want to bake pies and become your housewife, Dean. You don't really want that either." He gently stroked Dean's cheek. "This world is not beautiful or perfect, Dean. This is a fairy tale and the effects of this world are causing you confusion. This perfection and peace that you feel is just an illusion."

"Tell me, Cas. If he was able to get rid of all the monsters, why can't you?" Cas was slightly confused by the question. He thought it had been obvious that Castiel had no hand in that.

"He didn't, Dean. Whatever magic caused the anomalies here is also what caused the monsters to vanish. They don't fit; they're outside of the heaven-hell-earth fold that exists here. It seems that there aren't any pure demons or angels here either, just mutations." Cas took note of the question on Dean's face and continued before Dean could ask. "That's how I know he's not what you think. He's not an angel anymore Dean, at least not completely. Apparently he wasn't before things changed or he would have vanished too."

Dean thought about it for a moment, suddenly realizing that Cas had a point. Castiel's eyes were different and he didn't make a sound the last few times he disappeared. "What has power, but no wings, Dean?" Castiel's question breached Dean's thoughts. "Dean, all this, everything you see here is an abomination, including him. I know that you have lived through hell and a world without monsters, without facades is appealing, but everything in existence is created for a reason. Every good thing and every bad thing has a purpose. It's part of the natural order. Predator can't exist without prey, good can't exist without evil. I know that you see me when you look at him, but he's not me. He's as changed as the creatures that attacked us last night. He's become a part of the mutated mess this world has become. This world cannot be allowed to exist."

Dean turned with a sudden movement, pushing Cas back against the balcony railing. "So what then, go back? Is dying, sacrificing yourself really that much better than being here with me? You'd rather die than be with me?"

"Dean, going home doesn't necessarily mean that I die. No one has to die and we can still be together. It isn't the world that's keeping you from being the person you really want to be or having the life you want. It's not Sam, and it's not me. You are the only thing standing in the way of your happiness."

Jerrie walked out into the balcony and stretched as she yawned. Noticing the serious expressions, she shook her head at them. "Guys, give the fighting a rest today, for all our sakes." She turned to walk back inside, but stopped briefly to give them both a disapproving look. "Rob's getting showered, then he's gonna get us some breakfast. Look, if you two can't pull your heads out of your asses for your own sakes," She turned and glared at Dean. "…at least do it for Sam." She took a step closer to him, her eyes narrowed. "Or have you forgotten that your brother is lying comatose-or worse somewhere, while you make plans to set up house in the world the thing that did it to him, made?"

She turned to walk away, leaving him standing there shocked. "Jerrie, look. I know you don't get it but…Sam's fine…really. He's back in our time, perfectly okay."

She shook her head. "No, Dean. You don't get it. If you stay here, _your_ Sam becomes _my_ Sam. Don't be an idiot and believe that Castiel will fix him. He's just trying to get his way. He's a monster now, even more since you two got here. He's changed. He's not who he was a day ago, even. He's … I don't know how to explain it, but Cas is right." She walked back inside leaving Dean and Cas alone once again.

Cas could read the look of pure loss on Dean's face. "Dean, I know that you want to believe that I could never really turn into a monster and that's what your faith in him amounts to. But I'm not him and he's not me, just like you weren't the Dean from 2014-not really. Yeah, we're both capable of becoming these things, but every choice we make, everything we encounter determines our futures. Fate's just a word now. We can go home and make it right."

Dean took one last look over at the park then pulled Cas into his chest again. "Fine, but if he is a monster, apparently it's my fault. To fix this, I need to know what I did to cause it. I go with him, let him show me, and then we find a way to go home. Deal?"

"Deal." Cas hugged him and placed a gentle chaste kiss on his lips, smiling at the belief that they'd finally gotten through, that maybe everything would be okay.

Rob walked back into the room and placed a sac full of food on the small table. "Jerrie, Steve is coming by in about a half hour to pick you up. There's some trouble up in Montana and Castiel wants you to go help out."

Jerrie grabbed a breakfast sandwich from the bag and smirked at him. "Yeah, that's convenient. Tell him that I don't work with anyone except you. Steve's a dick and a little to 'hands on' for my taste. Castiel has other enforcers he can send."

"Jeer, come on. Don't make trouble. I'll be heading up there as soon as he gets back from wherever he's taking Dean today. Apparently I still have to babysit, then I'll be there to defend your honor." Dean and Cas watched Rob pat Jerrie's head like a puppy and couldn't stifle a laugh when she punched him in the gut, causing him to double over. "Don't ever pet me in front of company Robert!" She laughed, then stuffed the sandwich in her mouth and began packing her gear.

Dean and Cas sat down at the table. Dean nervously cleared his throat, waiting for Rob to acknowledge him. "Something on your mind, Dean?" Rob asked with the slightest hint of amusement.

"Yeah…ummm… this is gonna sound like a stupid question, but…" Dean hesitated. He really didn't want to bring up the subject, but it seemed important. "Rob, if 'sinning' is what turns people into zombies or whatever, what good does a permit do in a case like…like me and Cas?" Rob and Cas both put their sandwiches down in unison and stared at Dean. Rob blushed slightly, but Cas simply had a confused look on his face.

"You're gonna have to be more specific, Dean. I think I get where you're coming from, but clarify a little for me and the rest of the room." He nodded towards Cas, knowing the guy was completely lost.

Jerrie reached down and grabbed a second sandwich, stuffing it into her bag. "What? Gotta have my road food." She defended her appetite when everyone stared at her. "Anyway, I'm outta here. Try to stay out of trouble." She poked Rob in his side. "You better get your ass to Montana ASAP, or else Steve may end up bleeding on the side of a road somewhere. I doubt the universe would blame me."

Rob shook his head and the three watched as she disappeared through the hotel door. "Yeah, she talks big, but she's really a good person. Sam did a good thing." He cleared his throat and turned his attention back to Dean. "You were saying?"

"It's just…you know…Doesn't the bible say that Cas and me would be an abomination? Didn't God destroy that city because of something similar? Could that be why I…why what happened last night, happened?" Dean was uncomfortable asking what seemed like a stupid, childish, asinine question, but times were strange. "I just don't want anyone to get hurt because this world turned into some backwards bible camp or something."

Rob laughed at Dean's discomfort. "Are we talking about the 'gay thing' or the 'sex with angels thing'?" Rob hitched his thumb toward Cas. "Don't ya think he would be a better resource for bible trivia then me? He is an angel, after all." When Cas looked down and shook his head, a small smile on his face, Rob continued. "I have it on good authority that the bible tends to get some things wrong every now and again."

"I have told Dean that too. He just doesn't listen very well." Cas informed Rob while smiling at Dean. "The bible was intended to help explain God and heaven to beings that could not possibly perceive the full scope of it. It was never intended to be a law journal. As for the rules of this world, Rob will have to explain that. This is beyond even my perception."

"It's more about the golden rule here: Do unto others….love your neighbor as yourself. Stuff like that." Cas nodded at Rob's explanation, seeming to understand. "I'm not much for religion and I'm really not the best one to do this. I have a few issues with the man upstairs and my take on it really may be a little biased."

"I think you'll find the feeling pretty mutual here, but I can explain the basics." Cas took over, easily noticing Rob's uneasiness with the subject and a twinge of bitterness in his eyes. "Sexual perversion, rape, sexual abuse, those are abominations because they cause harm to another. That is what was happening at Sodom and Gomorrah. Expressing love and affection for the sake of sharing yourself with another, is never wrong. Unfortunately, the bible has, in some cases, become a platform to advance individual agendas. Still, it continues to be a source of inspiration and hope for many people and that actually was part of the intention." Cas turned to Rob. "Was that diplomatic enough?"

"Worked for me. Covered the basics at least." Rob stood up and started cleaning trash off the table.

"Wait. So then if sex with whoever is okay, then why do I need a damn permission slip if I wanna get laid?" Dean cleared his throat. "Hypothetically, of course."

Rob huffed and sat back down. It's not just a permission slip. It's actually a two-fold process. There's paperwork, then an interview with a special psychic that can read people's intentions, see truth from lie."

"So…hypothetically, we could go have this interview, then we could…you know?" Dean smirked playfully at Cas and winked.

"Fraid not. You two would be disqualified after the first question." Rob looked up at Dean and frowned. "Look, I'm trying here. I really am, but I've seen what Castiel intends to show you. I was there not long afterwards. You… either you are one hell of an actor or something is really off here and honestly, I'm not sure which." He turned to Cas. "You said Sam died an old man, that he never woke up. That must mean that you went further ahead. What happens?"

Cas was silent for a brief moment, contemplating what he should tell, if anything. It could be dangerous to disclose too much information to a person of this time, but not telling could be worse. "Everything is over within twenty years, Rob. No one is left except Castiel and Sam. There are bodies and bones laying and decaying everywhere. The earth is scorched even though the sun is hidden behind clouds of dust. The only life at all is a field of flowers and that's where Castiel stays until Sam finally dies, over thirty years later. I watched him bury Sam in that field. The last thing I saw was him pulling out an angel blade and staring at it. I left before I found out what happened, but I have good guess." Castiel looked at Rob's defeated half-smile. "Rob, his plan doesn't work. Regardless of his intentions, the world still ends."'

Rob shook his head. "Here's the thing. He said that you don't have all the information about the other timeline. He says that your plan doesn't work either."

"Maybe not, but at least now we have more information and know two things that don't work. All we need is to find one that does. We've beaten worse odds." Cas noticed that Dean looked a little shell shocked.

"He's been lying this entire time, hasn't he?" Dean stared intently toward Rob. "He never intended to let us be together."

"You have both already shown signs of mutating. That's an automatic no-go on the whole being together thing, at least for normal people."

"When did I…" Cas started, but realized immediately when Dean's eyes lowered to his feet. "…last night, when you all got quiet and sent me out of the room. Thank you so much for the honesty, Dean."

Dean scowled up at Rob, his fists clenched at his sides. Rob just smiled casually and raised an eyebrow. "Sorry Dean, but that's just a small part of it. The two of you, you're a danger to each other and by extension, the rest of the planet. Same with that brother of yours. Whatever there is between you guys, it's destructive, not good." Rob looked up at Cas who seemed just as angry as Dean.

"You would have ripped my throat out and you know it. You had no facts, never even considered that maybe he started it, that maybe I was defending myself. Hell, I don't think it would have mattered if you did know that. He can't do anything wrong, can he?"

Cas shifted nervously. "Our relationship is complicated. I'm sure my future self has enlightened you to that matter."

"Complicated? That's a freakin understatement. You just got back from watching him kill you in cold blood. He fed you to a damn monster, yet you still stand by him like a loyal little kitten. At the same time you reprimand him for lying to you. Why don't you tell him the real reason that you are so quick to hate your future self? We both know it's not because he's playing a role that you know he's been forced to play." Rob looked up to Dean when Cas remained silent. "Ask him Dean. Ask him what Castiel did that was so bad."

"Cas, if you know something that you're not telling, now would be a good time to get it off your chest." Dean stared, waiting for a reply.

"He…he's a dick with wings, that's why. He's a liar, a fraud, and a fake. You don't think I can tell when I'm lying? He is a monster. Even he won't deny it." Cas narrowed his eyes at Rob, as a warning.

"Yeah, and I can tell when you're lying too." Rob stood face to face with Cas, his eyes holding Cas' gaze as both men took in deep breaths. "You hate him because he let Dean die. You know how I know? Because I know he hates himself, and that's the reason why."

"He should hate himself. He deserves whatever this world does to him and more. He… he is a failure in every way." Cas pushed Rob out of the way and stormed out the front door in time to see Jerrie getting into the passenger side of a gray four door car. He stood watching as it drove away. He wanted to run after the car, beg her to stay, not to leave him alone to fight against two men, both far too blinded by false faith in his future self to trust. She was his only hope, and that hope was quickly fading into the distance.

Cas slowly turned around, feeling a light touch on his shoulder. "You know, he was a lot different when I met him. More like you, but don't tell him I said that." Rob smiled at Cas motioned for him to walk down the stairs. He turned to see Dean leaving the room and locking the door behind him.

Rob strengthened his grip on cas' shoulder and began leading him down the stairs. "Where are you taking me?" Cas complained and tried to pull away from the man, knowing Dean would be no help. Suddenly he was afraid, afraid that Castiel had won and all was lost.

"Calm down, Cas. We're just going to take a little walk to clear some things up. I'm sorry that it has to be this way." Cas felt the tip of Rob's gun aimed at his back, hidden out of sight if anyone should happen to look their way. Dean didn't seem to notice anything amiss. If he did, he wasn't objecting, simply following with a strange unconcerned look in his eyes.

"Just keep walking straight ahead like nothing's wrong. Don't even think about alerting Dean. He'll just make a scene and we don't want that right now." Rob whispered the words into Cas' ear as Dean wandered behind them, casually watching the park goers enjoying the day.

Cas walked ahead, as told. "What did you do to him?" He looked back at Dean, growing more concerned over the glazed look that he was now wearing.

Rob laughed. "Actually, it's a trick you showed me. It's just a little harmless spell to keep him from acting up till we get where we're going."

"How close are you and I, Rob?"Cas asked sarcastically, wondering if he was missing something that a normal human would have picked up on.

"Don't worry, nothing like that." Rob laughed again. "I'm just his friend, nothing else. I swear. Castiel doesn't really form those types of relationships. He's an 'all-business' type of angel and I'm devoted to my wife." The words startled Cas, but he kept his curiosity to himself, noting that there may be a more opportune moment to address the subject later.

After about twenty more steps, they came upon a small cabin. It seemed slightly ramshackled and worn. It certainly didn't fit in with the rest of the shiny new world. "Get inside, be quick about it." Rob barked at Cas then pulled Dean by the arm and shoved the two inside, slamming and bolting the door behind them.

Rob ran a small cylinder glass vile under Dean's nose and he immediately became aware of his surroundings. "What the Hell? Where are we?" Dean looked around, noting the complete look of constipation on Cas' face. "Rob, what's going on?"

"Welcome to resistance headquarters." He waved his hand around as if to give them the grand tour. "It's completely warded against angels. Castiel can't hear or see us." He smirked at Cas. "Sorry I had to scare you, but out there, well he can see everything. Gives the phrase 'big brother's watching' a whole new meaning."

"What the hell, Rob? What's with the sudden Benedict Arnold routine and how the hell did we get here?" Dean glanced around, noting the weapon cabinet and a small stockpile of non-perishable food items along with the usual hunting supplies.

"Your angel taught me a few tricks. It comes in handy when someone doesn't react well to seeing their loved ones have to be destroyed. It's a compliance spell, keeps people mostly unaware, compliant."

"You freakin mojoed me?

"Well, it's not like you were gonna willingly let me bully your precious angel. I had to be convincing, had to play my part. Trust me, Castiel is hard to trick these days. 'Trust No One' must be stamped on his chest somewhere." He turned from Dean. "You really did a number on him, Dean. Sam may have gotten a few things wrong, but in the end, you screwed him up. I think you forgot he wasn't human. Took for granted that the humanity you saw in him, came from your friendship, not from his true nature."

"Fine, so I'm the bad guy in all this. I get it. Had it beat into my head, actually. Why don't we skip the rerun and you give us something new to work with." Dean stood, defiantly facing the man, his arms folded over his chest. "Castiel said we could be together, all three of us, if I agree to stay. You said he doesn't lie. Lying apparently causes mutation and he thinks he needs to stay human-ish, at least for a while. So…"

Rob nodded. "Yes, but in a very controlled environment. He had to promise the committee on Community Safety that you would never be able to interact in society if you were allowed to live." He turned back to Dean. "He was told to destroy you and imprison Cas. That was the verdict. He's only trying to keep you alive."

"What the hell do you mean by 'controlled environment'?" Dean looked at the large iron lock that secured the weapon cabinet, playing through in his head how he could get into it. He started to continue when he noticed a smug smile on Cas' lips. "What the hell are you so happy about?"

Cas ignored Dean's question and turned to Rob instead. "Did Castiel give you permission to disclose that piece of information, Rob? Did he tell you to let that particular piece of information slip?"

Rob exhaled. "He told me to answer Dean's questions honestly, tell him whatever he wants to know."

Cas picked up an old pen that was sitting on the table and began tapping it on the edge, narrowing his eyes, the smile still on his face. "Maybe so, but Dean never asked about our living arrangements, just took for granted that Castiel was telling the truth. You just said a little too much, Rob."

"And how's that?" Rob raised his head and rolled his eyes towards dean. "How's anything I just said a bad thing?"

Cas looked over at the lost expression on Dean's face. "You see, angelic controlled environments aren't exactly a room at the Holiday Inn, Dean. "Cas paused for effect, taking a little too much pleasure in being proven right all along. "Then again, it could be, depending on the mood he's in."

"Straight answer Cas. Damn it, for once just give me a freaking straight answer."

Cas chuckled at Dean's impatience. "Remember when Gabriel locked you and Sam in the television?" He waited for Dean to nod. "That's an example of a 'controlled environment'. That's how he plans to keep us happy. As a matter of fact, Sam is probably very happy right now, locked away safe, in his own mind." Dean rubbed his hands over his face and took an exasperated breath. "Dean, he has no intention of fixing your brother. He only intends to have us join him." Cas shot Dean a very 'pleased with himself' look and continue. "I think this is where humans usually say; 'told ya so'."

"You know what, bite me Cas." Dean couldn't find it in him to be mad at Cas' pretentious attitude. He was right. Instead of shooting back, he just rolled his eyes, opting for a more mature approach. "So call me crazy, 'Mr. I think I'm always right', but if I'm remembering correctly, Gabriel kicked your ass pretty good in tv land. I assumed that was an archangel trick, not just something any little ole grunt angel could pull off." Dean Smirked at Cas. "So tell me, how is it you get the juice to work that type of mojo?" Dean cocked his eyebrow and waited for Cas' comeback.

Cas looked over to rob, who seemed to be enjoying the entertainment. "I don't know. Why don't you ask Rob? He seems to be pretty well informed all of a sudden."

Rob winked at Cas. "Oh yeah, trust me, I'm very well informed. He told me what he planned to do when he found out the verdict. If it's any consolation, it's not the outcome that he wanted. The people don't want you three to interfere in society, Dean. They think you'll just make things worse, like you always do."

Dean shook his head. "How is it that he trusts you? What the hell are you to him?"

"He may not be my angel, but I am his hunter. Even when I don't agree with him, I back his play. I stand by him because I know he's trying to do the right thing. Mostly, I don't treat him like a monster. I treat him like a person. I think, deep down, that's all he ever really wanted."

Cas refused to meet Dean's eyes even though he could feel the question Dean was holding on the tip of his tongue. "Does Jerrie know how two faced you are? Do the people that come to this place know that you're just an inside man?"

"It's not like that. I keep them within reason, keep them from crossing the line. Everyone needs an outlet to vent their issues. With me in charge, it can be done without bloodshed or more violence. I do agree with a lot of what they say, but…it's complicated."

"So, is this sudden change of allegiance all a trick too? If it is, I don't get the point, but I'm not real sure of anything right now."

"This isn't a trick. This is me, telling you, that if you stay here, you will be set up in a very pleasant fantasy world, locked inside your own head. You will, in essence, be dead."

Dean looked over at Cas and had the sudden urge to punch him in the face. He briefly wondered if that sigil made his face a little more punchable than the last time he tied to hit him. "Why the hell are you still smiling?"

Cas kept smiling, but walked over to dean and whispered in his ear. "Because he know there's another option."

"Pull your head out of your ass and find a way home, you stupid son of a bitch." Rob scowled at Dean.

"You too, Robert? Planning to fall on your own sword next, I assume?" All three jumped and turned to see a very unpleasant Castiel, glaring at Rob. "Angel warding doesn't really work when you're not exactly an angel anymore, Rob. It hasn't worked for a while now."

Rob took three steps to stand directly in front of Castiel. "No, I don't plan on falling on my own sword, I assumed I'd be falling on yours." Rob's words weren't angry or pleading, just statement of fact. He continued to look into cold gray eyes without flinching. "I betrayed you, so do what you have to. I know the law. It doesn't matter because I don't want to be here for the finale anyway."

Castiel nodded and took out his blade, not a second of hesitation passed before his eyes. "Wait." Dean moved quickly and shoved Rob out of the way. "Wait, Castiel. Stop. It doesn't change anything. My mind's made up. What he told us has no consequence. I don't want to go home."

Castiel lowed he blade and narrowed his eyes. "Let me guess… You're trying to buy time, save Robert from the consequences of his actions by trying to lie to me. Save it for the human version, Dean. I learned a long time ago, to never trust you."

"He's not lying." All three turned to Cas, who'd been watching quietly. "He wants to stay. This world, whatever is happening here, it's changing him too. It seems to be making him give in to desires he's buried inside his whole life. He thinks if we go home, he has to go back to being someone that he doesn't want to be. Freedom, even from yourself, can be addicting, like a drug. If anyone at all can understand this, it would be you."

Castiel looked to Dean, waiting for his reply. "Look, he's right...at least about me wanting to stay here. He was a little more poetic about it than me, but… it doesn't matter. No man, I won't let you put us in some angel matrix, but put us on a mountain somewhere, monitor our behavior if you have to. I don't care. Just, we stay awake and together."

"Dean Winchester, willing to negotiate. I never thought I'd see the day." Castiel got quite for a second, thinking his proposal over. "Negotiations require sacrifice on both sides, Dean. The only way I can accept your offer is if you give up something too." Castiel smiled when he saw Dean's expression turn dark. "You can have peace and freedom…with Sam, But not Cas. Think about it Dean; your life and Sam's life….all you have to do is give up your angel."

Dean's breath was heavy. It was so easy now to tell the differences between Cas and Castiel. Dressed alike, with the same color eyes, he would still know. Cas was light, this other one was all darkness, emptiness. They were night and day, apparently he was the one who caused it. What's new? "You're bluffing. You know that's a choice I can't make."

Castiel laughed. "I assure you, I'm not bluffing and you and I both know you can choose. You just don't want to. Well, I'm making you. Choose, Dean."

Dean shook his head. "No, I don't sacrifice my friends. Damn you, Cas…tiel. Just, no."

"Friends, maybe you don't sacrifice those, but you will sacrifice him. You don't count him as friend…never did." Castiel moved closer, barely an inch from Dean's face. "Drop the act."

"I'm not acting." Dean yelled back, more from frustration than anger. "You promised to show me what happened, tell me what I did. We had a deal. Prove to me that I don't count him as a friend. Show me first, then I'll decide."

"Castiel took a step back and nodded to Rob. "I am only allowing you this one pass because I need you to watch him while I'm gone. You cause any more damage and I will have you destroyed on the basis of treason."

Dean moved closer to Cas when he noticed that he was shaking slightly. Dean wrapped his arm around him to calm him. "If I didn't know better, I'd think you were a little afraid of yourself." Dean's words were soft, only meant to calm.

Cas leaned into Dean. He loved the feeling of having Dean so close to him, so affectionate and caring. At the same time, it scared him and he really didn't know how to handle the conflict that he felt. Everything was thrown at him all at once and he wasn't prepared to deal with it. "It's not him that I'm afraid of." Cas said the words quietly, almost hoping Dean wouldn't hear. He knew that this wasn't real and couldn't last, but he liked it so much. After everything that happened, after everything they'd done to hurt each other, this closeness was the closest thing to having his own personal heaven.

How perfect it would be if they were really who they are here. Cas knew that going home would take all this away. He knew that it was the effects of this world that made Dean cling to him. Warriors do not cuddle or hug or hold each other close. This is all an illusion, a hidden desire they both share, brought to life by a world that isn't meant to exist. Going home would destroy the illusion. Suddenly, Cas wasn't so thrilled about the idea.

"Don't go with him. Stay here with me." Cas pulled Dean impossibly closer, breathing the words into Dean's shoulder. "Convince him to let us be together, here."

"What?" Dean quickly pulled away and Cas found himself being stared at by everyone in the room. He looked around, suddenly shocked by the words he'd just spoken.

"I…I don't know why I just said that." He turned away, rubbing his hands over his face, trying to make sense of what just happened.

Castiel laughed. "How does it feel to be reduced to one of them, Cas?" Castiel grabbed him by his shoulder and harshly turned him to meet his eyes. "You are turning into one of them, you idiot. This is one of the consequences of letting yourself be fooled into thinking you can ever be with him. You really willing to throw away your sense of self, become everything he wants by sacrificing your own identity. Is he worth becoming what this world will make you?"

"Leave him alone." Dean made a move for Castiel, but Rob held him back. "Just leave him alone. You're the one who made us put that sigil on his hand. You're the one taking his identity away, not me." Dean jerked Rob's hand away from his shoulder and walked over to Cas. "We'll figure it out, I promise." Cas looked from Dean to Castiel, hating to admit that he was right, in a sense. Castiel was nothing more than a compilation of every fear he had about facing the truth. To love a human, he would inevitably have to give up himself. He'd lose who he was. Here or at home, he'd never be able to have both. Angels don't have hearts; they don't fall in love with humans. Love is a destructive force and Dean would destroy him, at least the non-human part.

Regardless of what he'd told Dean earlier on the balcony, going home would change everything. He'd have to make a choice that he wasn't sure he was ready to make. Emotion is unreliable, a weakening force. Logic demanded that they find a way home at any cost, regardless of the loss it would bring.

"I'm fine, Dean. This world and this sigil are having an unexpected effect on me. It will be okay." Cas looked up at Rob. "Go with Castiel. Rob and I will be fine while you're gone."

"Don't we have a date or something, Castiel?" Dean shortly growled at Castiel in a hope to divert his attention from Cas. The anger mixed with superiority that he witnessed in Castiel's voice made the fog of the world seem to lift a little from his head. "We're both a couple of hard-headed Sons of bitches. If you want me to stay, you need to prove to me that it's what's right." He took a step closer. "You know full well that I'll let you kill us all before I back a plan that I don't agree with."

"Yes, that I do know." Castiel took a step back and glared at Rob. "Robert, if you cause any more damage, I will have you brought up on charges of treason and ask that the courts show very little mercy."

Rob flinched at the coldness in his voice, but nodded. "I know you think I betrayed you, but I only did it for your own good." He took a look around, then down at the ground. "After everything, I think that you deserve more than this lonely existence. You have been a guardian angel for this entire planet, you shouldn't have to die alone and for nothing. There's no honor in the future Cas saw."

"I fail to see how you can find any honor in betraying me, even if you believe it to be just." Castiel looked questioningly at Rob. "I have not lied, only ever tried to fix this mess. You were the one person I thought I could count on. I told you why, I told you everything."

"It doesn't matter what I say. Believe me or don't, I did do it for you. I know what it's like to have my heart ripped out in an instant and not know why. I know that pain and how it can break a man, make him blind to what's right in front of him."

"You betray my trust, conspire with my enemy, and still claim to do it on my behalf? Castiel was growing more and more impatient, bearing down on Rob, fists clenched.

Dean broke the awkwardness with a chuckle. "Oh yeah, this is priceless. Please continue, don't stop on my account." Dean choked out sarcastically when everyone turned to look at him. "Although I can't quite think of the right word to describe this particularly touching moment…"

Cas nudged him in his ribs and leaned into his ear, but failed to keep his voice low enough to not let the other's hear his comment. "I think the appropriate term for this situation would be 'irony' or perhaps 'karma'."

Dean full out laughed this time. "Good to know you're catching this too."

Rob gave Dean an annoyed glance, but immediately returned his attention to Castiel. "I'm sorry. I know you don't understand. I'll protect Cas while you're gone, honorably"

"Protect him? Hell, I don't care if you feed him to a pack of hungry wolves. He's completely worthless now. Just keep him from inciting any more trouble." He stepped to Dean and placed two fingers to his head. "Let's go".

**As always, thanks for reading and please review. I love hearing what you have to say and any advice that you may have.**


	13. Chapter 13

AN: Thanks for the reading and reviewing. I hope you've liked the story so far. This chapter is a little darker, but hopefully some things will be explained. I really don't like 'sad' and did my very best to keep this from being sad. I absolutely hate death fics. This is **not** one of those. Basically, I look at the visit to Castiel's past as being overly dramatized. When writing this, I pictured Sam and Dean's bad acting in "The French Mistake". That made it easier to write. (_Yes, I am a wimp.) _ I Hope you enjoy and thanks again for reading. _(Castiel's past is in italics)_

**Chapter 13: Time For Someone To Die…**_**sort of**_

"_Castiel, if you can hear me… I need you. Dean laid on the cold dirt, his hand grasping his chest, blood trickling from the corners of his mouth. He listened for the tell-tale sound of flapping wings, but heard nothing except the sound of his own ragged breath. "Cas, I'm dying here, man. Please."_

_The angel appeared beside Dean, not expecting the extent of damage he saw. He instinctively kneeled down, covering the wound with his hand to heal it, like he had so many times before. The touch did no good. The wound refused to close. Castiel suddenly remembered and worry turned to desperation._

"_Dean, I can't fix this. You know I can't fix this." Dean remained silent, staring in disbelief at the friend he hadn't seen in so long. "Tell me what you did so I can save you." Hands covered with blood, Castiel grabbed Dean's shirt collar and pulled him up. His blue eyes wide with horror and brimming with fear. "Please, tell me so I can fix it."_

_Dean slowly raised a hand and brought it to Cas' cheek. "You can't fix it, Cas. That's not why I called you." Dean didn't have enough strength to keep his hand raised and it slowly slid back to his side. He drowsily blinked his eyelids, trying to remain conscious._

_Castiel put a hand behind Dean's head for support, holding him in place. "Dean please, I'm begging you. The past doesn't matter. It never did." Castiel's eyes brimmed with wetness. Desperation and grief visible in the contours of his face. "Please let me save you. Don't make me watch you die." Castiel ran his fingers over the wounds, trying to will them away._

Dean walked closer to where Castiel watched as the past played out in front of them and put a hand on his shoulder. "Please don't do that." Castiel quickly shook Dean's hand off, his eyes never leaving the scene in front of them.

"This is one hell of a death scene. Might even be my best work yet. I smell an Oscar." Dean smirked, but the angel just moved a step away.

"Your sarcasm is even less funny in this instance, Dean." Dean rolled his eyes, figuring that his award winning humor was wasted anyway and moved his gaze back to the scene in front of him.

_Dean blinked his eyes to focus on the angel and forced himself to speak. "Can't…Cas…need you to know…" Dean's words were lost to choked coughs as more blood spilled from his mouth. The angel kneeling next to him gently wiped the blood from his lips, earning him a strained smile in return. "I'm...Cas…sorry." The fallen hunter grabbed the angel's hand and pressed it to his lips. "…had to make you believe…please understand….was the only way I could…" The words remained unspoken as all life left Dean's eyes, still locked on Cas'. Instead of the usual unspoken longing, this time only death stared back._

"Wow, I know you don't know much about Hollywood, but that, my friend, is the performance of a lifetime." Dean nudged Castiel with his elbow. "Man, I can barely hold back tears." Dean's smirk faded as the angel turned to him and glared.

"I didn't just jump through time and watch this scene, Dean. This is not one of your television shows. I had to live it. I find it astonishing that you have so little tact that you can't even be bothered to keep your mouth shut." Castiel's eyes bore into Dean's with a fury that he hadn't seen in a long time. Dean caught himself taking a step back, as if he could really run if Castiel wanted to kick his ass.

Castiel started to advance on him, but stopped himself, took a deep breath and released the fists that he barely realized he'd been clenching. "Just keep watching, Dean. But please, at least try to keep your mouth shut for a few moments. That is if you have the desire to make it back to your little angel in one piece. My patience is not what it used to be." Dean swallowed a lump in his throat and looked back.

_The angel kneeled before the dead hunter, his head bowed as though in prayer. The silence and stillness of the night was broken by the sound of Sam hollering his brother's name as he ran towards the body. Castiel stood up and turned to Sam, his head still lowered. "There's no need to burn his body. Nothing's left." The words were cold, emotionless and unfeeling. He simply stepped around Sam, not bothering to look up._

_Sam put a hand on his shoulder to stop his retreat. "Please Cas, fix him. Please. Whatever happened between you two, I know you can't just let him die. You can't just walk away." Tears started falling down Sam's face. "Please, Cas. Don't let him die." Sam's grip tightened, trying desperately to pull him back._

_Castiel shoved Sam's hand off his shoulder. "He is already dead, Sam. I can't bring him back. He made sure of that. Bury your brother and leave me the hell alone." Castiel finally raised his head to look Sam in the eyes. His once blue eyes were now the color of cold steel. Sam jumped back, startled. "Cas…" But with a flutter of wings, Castiel vanished, leaving Sam to mourn his brother alone._

* * *

"Well Cas, I guess it's just me and you." Rob could see the worried expression on his face. "I know it's hard for you to believe, but he won't hurt him. You don't need to worry about that."

Cas stared at him with a clear look of distaste. "How is it that even now, you continue to defend him?"

Rob sincerely smiled at Cas for the first time since he met him. "It's complicated and even if I did betray him, I know that I did it for the right reasons. Yeah, I sit around a table and bitch about too many laws with a bunch of people, but it's not like we could ever really make a move against him. My conscious is clear."

Cas nodded. "What if I could give you a way to move against him? If you had a way to take him down, would you be able to do it?"

The enforcer thought about it for a moment, then frowned. "I'm not sure, Cas. I know you're right and I know he's gone a little off the rails, but I honestly don't know. It would kill me; that I do know."

Cas untucked the black shirt and pulled an angel blade from the waist of his jeans. He held it out to Rob who suddenly froze, the color draining from his face. "Take it. Rob, he is over-confidant. He lets you get closer than anyone else and doesn't believe you'd ever even think about killing him. Even now, after what you did, he still sees you as an ally." Cas easily noticed the question in his eyes. "Yes, even after you betrayed him. Trust me, he gets the whole 'I did it for you' thing, even if he feigned misunderstanding. It probably made him believe that you care even more. It will be easy for you to get close enough to do it."

Rob took a step back, refusing to touch the blade. "I thought Castiel took that from you."

Cas smiled. "One of the advantages of possessing the human ability to deceive." He held the blade out yet again, but like last time, Rob refused to take it.

"You can use it better than me. Why don't you just do it?"

Cas inhaled deeply, hating to admit the truth. "Because Dean would stop me. I'm human right now, which means he's stronger than me. He'll instinctively protect Castiel and our one chance will be ruined. It has to be you, Rob. Fate has designated you Brutus, to his Caesar."

"Fate?" Rob shook his head. "Dean is in love with you, whether you see it or not. Jerrie said that even Sam knew it. Apparently you were the only one who didn't. He'll back your plan. I can't say that I like the 'way' he loves you, but I can't deny that he does."

Cas rolled his eyes and huffed. "Yes, he does love me, I'm not blind. That is part of the problem. Castiel is me too, which means that he also loves him. If he's forced to choose, it will be him. Castiel is the real me." Cas knew that Rob couldn't possibly understand and time was running out to make his case. "Your Castiel is confidant and powerful. He's a force of nature. He's everything I used to be. I'm broken, Rob. All I am now is just a look-a-like that's willing to sleep with him. I'm not the Castiel that he really wants."

"You really are, without a doubt, the most…" Rob couldn't believe his ears. "I just don't get you. Him, I understand. He's all about purpose. I get it when he's a complete idiot about human stuff, but you're supposed to be sort of human, yet you say that like it's so simple, like you don't even care."

"It is simple. Most things in life are simple, humans just think too much." He paused and looked out into the afternoon sun. "I do care, Rob. It hurts worse than any physical wound I've ever received and I don't know how to make it stop hurting. But not accepting the truth isn't going to heal it either. Dean will never let me kill Castiel, there is no doubt in my mind about that. It has to be you."

"You are more like him than either of you realize. I think you are exactly the version Dean wants. Like this, he gets to control you, protect you. You have to depend on him. I think you're wrong about what Dean actually wants." There was no sympathy in his tone, only judgment.

"There's a big difference between want and need. If I were faced with Dean's evil self, I couldn't kill him either and I wouldn't let Dean kill him. When you love someone, you love all of them, the good and the bad; their weaknesses and their strengths. Right now, in this setting, I am all one and Castiel is all the other."

"Castiel is not evil." Despite the protest, Rob cautiously took the knife and turned it over in his hand, studying it as though memorizing it's every detail. Cas took this as acceptance. "If you kill him, I can get Dean to remove this sigil so I can get my powers back. We'll be able to go home. All the bloodshed, the fear and pain, it will never have to come to be."

"And I die." Cas realized, from the resignation in Rob's tone, that he wasn't being metaphorical.

"Rob, tell me why you trust him so much."

* * *

Dean stood in shock, with his mouth open in disbelief. He composed himself enough to speak. "If you hate me so much, why do you come back here? Why watch this over and over?" When Castiel didn't answer, Dean allowed himself to get angry. "Tell me, damn it!"

Castiel slowly turned around, his anger replaced by solemn resignation. "Because I don't understand." He looked at Dean questioningly. "He never finished telling me why he did what he did, why he said those things, why he lied to me for so long…why he made me watch him die." Castiel bit his lower lip, reminding him that underneath everything, this really was still Cas, just a hurt, broken, angry version. "After everything, I guess part of me just hopes that this will be the one time it changes and he finishes the sentence…so I can understand. He looked up to meet Dean's gaze. "But he never does. I gave everything for you, would have gladly given more. I just want to understand why it wasn't enough."

"If I could finish the sentence for you, do you think it would make a difference? Will it really fix everything if you know why?" Dean's words were half sincere, half sarcasm. There was no way he could possibly finish the sentence, even if he could, he doubted it would change anything.

Castiel's eyes seemed to suddenly grow colder and his features turned hard. The change sent a shiver down Dean's spine. "I think it would help more if you explain how you find the nerve to say anything at all to me after what you said seven months before this." Cas put two fingers to Dean's head and they were suddenly standing in a dirty hotel room, watching as Dean and Cas stood only inches apart, staring awkwardly into each other's eyes.

"_Dean, I don't understand. I thought we were friends." Cas held Dean's gaze, desperately trying to understand why he'd just told him to leave. _

"_Friends Cas? Really? Do you even know what that is? What it means, how it feels?" Dean finally broke the eye contact and turned around. "No Cas, you were an ally. Hell, I would have befriended anyone to save Sam. You were a useful weapon in a war we couldn't win on our own. After that, more shit kept coming our way and I needed your mojo to beat it." He turned back around. "But all that's over now. I don't need you anymore. It's gone too far and you being here all the time just, it's just wrong. Go home, Cas. You cause more problems here than you're actually worth because you don't belong here."_

"_I don't belong in heaven either, Dean. I can't go back now. I'm not like them anymore." Cas was almost pleading, his eyes glassy with tears that simply wouldn't fall. "I can still help. I'll stay far enough away, you won't even know I'm around. I'll just show up if you need me, like before."_

"_I won't need you for anything, Cas. Don't you get it? I don't want you here at all. I found a spell that makes it impossible for you to heal me, so hanging around for that won't be necessary either." Dean took a deep breath and shut his eyes for a second. "As for returning to heaven, it's kind of your fault that you can't go back. I don't really care where you go, just as long as you go somewhere. I don't have any use for you here." Dean turned away, unable to face Cas. "You're just a supernatural creature, a monster. I hunt and kill monsters. I don't work with them and I sure as hell don't count them as friends." Castiel disappeared without another word, leaving Dean alone in the empty room._

"I found out the truth about humans that day. I finally realized why my kind hated you so much. I trusted you, let myself care about you and all I was to you was a useful weapon, easily discarded." Castiel snickered slightly before turning to face Dean. "You know, the worst thing about all this is that you never had to lie. There was no reason for you to pretend. I would have fought beside you, regardless. I believed in the cause as much as I believed in you. It was the right thing to do."

Dean was speechless. After hearing what he'd said to Castiel, he couldn't blame him for hating him. All that kept replaying in his mind was that, even after the cruel words, the stupid angel still wanted to save him seven months later. "Cas…"

Fury boiled in Castiel's veins. Dean was thrown against the wall hard enough to crack the plaster. "Don't you dare call me that. I'm not him. Cas is the one waiting for you to return, the one who trusted you enough to take his powers away without hesitation. Cas is the one who actually believes that you give a damn about him, when in reality, you've simply found another use for him."

Dean picked himself up off the ground, his body aching from the blow. "He was lying. I don't know why or how I could ever be that cruel, but he lied to you." Dean risked another hit by taking Castiel's shoulder and turning him to look towards the other Dean. "Look at him and tell me that you really believe he's that cold. Tell me, Cas! You know me better than I know myself sometimes. Do you really believe that I could have actually meant the things I just said?" Dean let go of Castiel's shoulder and forced himself to look into the strange, gray eyes. "How could you be so quick to believe the lie, but even now refuse to see the truth?"

* * *

"Twenty-one months ago I had a wife. Her name was Kay. We had a three year old son. He was so full of life, handsome and smart. Everything was perfect. Life was perfect." Rob's blue eyes became watery, tears threatening to fall.

"We were picnicking at Sansaw Lake. It was a beautiful, clear day. An elderly lady approached us and asked if we had any extra bread so she could feed the ducks." Rob shook his head, a tear rolled down his face. "I didn't even question it. I just left them there with her to walk back to the car for the extra loaf of bread we'd brought with us. Everyone feeds the ducks at Sansaw Lake. It's kind of what you do there. By the time I got back, my son was gone and I watched as a head full of razor sharp teeth tore into Kay's flesh. Her screams seemed to last hours. I couldn't even move. I just stood there and let her die."

Cas could see the guilt in Rob's eye's as he continued. "The thing moved towards me when it was done with her, and god help me, I wanted it to kill me too. I just fell to my knees and waited for the pain, but it never came. Castiel appeared from nowhere and sliced the damn thing's head off."

Rob looked up at Cas, who's eyes reflected the sadness of his own. "I bet your savior never bothered to tell you that he's the one who brought those creatures into this world in the first place. He/I am the reason your wife and child are dead, Rob. He is no hero and you don't owe him a thing."

Cas turned away, knowing there would be no end to the damage he'd caused. He took a step to walk away, but was pulled back by a hand on his shoulder. "Just stop. How can you think so little of yourself? You hate him because you hate yourself and that's not fair." Rob's words startled Cas and he turned to the man in front of him.

"I was so angry that he saved me. I wanted to die. I begged him to kill me too, but of course he refused. He told me that it was him that deserved to die because it was his fault that Kay and Danny were dead. Cas, he sat me down and told me what he'd done. When he was finished, he handed me one of those damn angel knives and told me I had two choices. I could exact my revenge on Kay and Danny's real killer by shoving that blade through his heart, or I could help him rid the world of other monsters so maybe others wouldn't have to experience what I did."

Cas rolled his eyes and huffed. "I can see that you think it was a noble gesture, but what he did was con and deceive you into feeling sorry for him. He made you one of his damn disciples through trickery."

Rob wanted to get angry, but after dealing with the constant self-hate issues for the past two years, he was kind of used to it. "No, you don't get it. He gave me a reason to live, a mission. If I had walked away, I would have killed myself. It was too much for any man to handle at one time. He taught me how to save people, he gave me my life back. No, he can't bring Kay and Danny back, but in some small way, I'm honoring their memory by saving others."

Cas took a deep breath and looked away, but Rob moved to stand in front of him again. "Look, you screwed up and caused a lot of pain, but your intentions were good. Everyone makes mistakes. It's how you deal with the consequences of those mistakes that really matters."

Cas shook his head and looked away again. Rob took a step back and decided to give up. He could tell that even this version hated himself too much to see the truth.

* * *

_Dean clutched his stomach and slid down to the floor. A tear rolled down his cheek as he looked up at the empty room. "I know you can hear me, you son of a bitch. I hate you." Without warning Dean picked up a half-full whiskey bottle and flung in in the exact place Future Castiel and Dean stood invisibly watching, spraying liquid and broken glass in every direction. "I hate you. I hope you're happy now you sadistic piece of…" The last words were broken and muted as Dean lowered his head into his hands._

Dean finally understood. "Cruel to be kind." His words were soft, as if speaking them to himself.

Castiel turned to Dean, startled by the abrupt words that came out of nowhere. "What?"

Dean stared at him in disbelief. "The sentence he never finished before he died… just two missing words, you stupid son of a bitch. It's the only way he could save you. That's what he was trying to say."

"Save me from what, exactly?" Castiel asked plainly.

Dean gave him an odd, confused expression. "You know damn, good and well what…me. I kill you and feed you to a monster. You die because of me. This way is better."

"I guess you just want me to take your word for it, give you a big hug and kiss and tell you it's all okay, right?" Castiel glared at Dean. "I don't think so. You had no idea about the future at this point in time. I know because I didn't. This wasn't about you saving anything. This was about you finally speaking the truth for the first time since you met me."

Dean couldn't contradict Castiel's argument. Cas would have seen right through any attempt to send him away for that reason. But still, Dean could tell the other him was lying. He knew the words weren't true, at least not the part he spoke to Castiel directly. Why didn't Castiel? "Look, I don't know what that was about, but I know he wasn't telling the truth. I know how I feel, Damn it."

"Do you, Dean? Or do you just dislike being called out for your bullshit?"

"Cursing is against the law Castiel. We wouldn't want to let your enforcers hear that kind of language."

"Is everything a joke to you?" Castiel didn't have the energy to deal with Dean anymore. "You hide behind sarcasm and stupid jokes because deep down, you know I'm right. If you had a reasonable explanation besides the obvious, you'd state it." Dean started to argue, but Castiel stopped him. "No Dean, I've showed you what you wanted to see. I hope it satisfied your curiosity. I've had enough of this-enough of you."

* * *

"Whatever you may think, Castiel saved my life. How could I possibly take his?" Rob looked up at Cas and shook his head, dropping the blade to his feet. "I won't do it. If you want him dead so badly, you'll have to figure out a way to do it yourself."

Cas bent down and picked up the knife, calling to Rob as he started to walk away. "You do this and I'll make sure your family lives."

Rob stopped in his tracks, frozen in place. After a second of thought he slowly turned around, waiting for Cas to explain. "They're not dead yet in my time. I can still save them." Cas held the blade out to him once again.

Rob took a couple of steps closer, eyeing the blade with new interest, but didn't take it. "So, you'll save them if I kill Castiel?" He didn't give Cas a chance to answer. "What if I refuse? You'd let an innocent woman and child die?" Rob shook his head. "Whatever happens to change you…I think it needs to happen. Not only is he the better angel, he's the better man. He'd never blackmail me into killing someone. You can go straight to hell." Rob turned away and got a few steps before Cas hollered for him.

"Stop, damn it. I didn't mean it that way. How can you value his life above your wife and child's?" Cas was tired of being misunderstood and distrusted. "I can't save them unless he dies and I can get home. But if by chance we get there anyway, of course I'll save them. You have my word." Cas could clearly see the torment in his eyes. "I understand. We'll find another way. But I promise, if I get back to my time, I will make it right."

"You can't change the past, Cas. Castiel told me that. He told me that the risks are too great. When he threatened to restart the apocalypse, it was just a bluff. He told me he was just trying to scare Dean. I can't sacrifice the safety of the world for my own selfish needs. And I can't let you." Rob lowered his head. "What's done is done."

"It's not my past, Rob. It's in my future. That makes a difference. They don't have to die. There wouldn't be a risk." He walked to Rob and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Even if there was a risk, it seems worth it to me."

"You would really risk the consequences to save two insignificant people?" Rob almost couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Castiel would never do that."

"Yeah well, I guess it's something I learned from a friend." He paused for a second to find the words. "Sometimes when all you're looking at is the bigger picture, you can miss the more important details."

"I'm guessing that friend is Dean, right?" Rob quietly asked, a little smile on his face. "You know, all his influence isn't necessarily a good thing. How is it that Dean, a pretty messed up human, is able to influence an angel? Why is he so important?"

"I don't know. He just sort of has an unusual effect on me." Castiel answered as honestly as he could. Sure he could come up with some long, drawn out analysis of their relationship, but in the end, he really just didn't know. "I'm sure Castiel has explained some of it."

"Yeah, but his view isn't exactly all peaches and cream. Isn't it true that he abandoned you when you needed him the most? Doesn't he treat you like a child, expect you to follow his lead? Would things not have been different if he'd stood beside you instead of expecting you to follow his commands?"

Cas felt his blood draining from his face. "I want to be honest with you here, but the answer isn't really black and white. He wasn't the only one who refused to back my play. Logically, he shouldn't have. He was right." Cas caught his breath, hoping that if he could explain it properly to Rob, maybe he could understand it better himself. "Back at the cabin, you said that you back his plans even if you don't agree. You do that to distinguish yourself from Dean, prove that you're the better friend. Unfortunately, that makes you just as bad."

Cas watched as Rob rolled his eyes to the ground. "How can you say that? I see, even here, how he treats you like a kid. Hell, you've even pitched a fit about it a couple of times." Cas found it humorous that pitching a fit was exactly what a kid would do, but instead of pointing that out, he continued to listen. "I'm just not sure what gives him the right to dictate right from wrong, especially after what he did, himself."

Cas smiled, surprisingly it was a genuine smile. "I'm an angel, not a toddler that needs his hand held. Dean is principled, sometimes a little too much, but he tried. Dean is just Dean. He thinks he's responsible for everyone. Castiel knows this and so do I. He's bitter about something and finding every single fault he can with Dean. Dean has his defense mechanisms, I have mine. Ultimately, we're all responsible for our own actions, Dean has yet to learn that. It doesn't make him a bad guy, just a bit of a...dick at times, his word, not mine. Being a good friend doesn't mean you can't disagree. I haven't always agreed with his decisions either."

Rob looked confused. "I really don't understand how so much could change in just a few months. Don't get me wrong, I believe what you're saying, but I watched, first hand as he destroyed a part of you. I saw all the pain it caused and how you had to bury it to take on whatever the mess is that happened to the world. I know he means a lot to you, but he's your Achilles' heel. He literally destroys you."

"You're wrong and I'm tired of hearing that." The smile quickly faded from Cas' face. "If that's so true, why is it that Dean's the one buried in a damn field? It seems the opposite to me, Rob. Six months from now he watches Dean die. He was there and he just let it happen. Who destroyed who?"

"You really don't know, do you?" Rob watched as confusion spread across Cas' face. "You didn't see. Cas, you don't just let him die. That fight you two had, Dean found some way to make it impossible to heal him. He did it to keep you away. He called you when he was already beyond any medical help and he knew you wouldn't be able to heal him. He knew when he called you, that all you'd be able to do was helplessly watch him die."

Somehow, Cas knew that Rob was telling the truth. He didn't visit that night because watching that was not something he ever wanted to do. "Cas, I'm sorry. I'm sure there's something we're all missing here."

"I'm sure that it doesn't matter. We won't have that fight and none of this will happen. That is all." He tucked the knife back into his pocket and walked away, taking a seat on a bench near the edge of the small pond that served as the centerpiece of the park.

Rob followed him and took a seat next to him. "Listen, as soon as Dean gets back, I have to join Jerrie in Montana. There's a land dispute that broke out and things got pretty heated. Apparently the whole damn city's involved. Around here, heated disputes get real ugly, real quick." When Cas didn't acknowledge him, he continued. "You'll be alone with Dean. Castiel isn't gonna be able to stick around either. Point is; you'll have some time alone. Talk to him and figure it out. I have faith that the two of you can fix this."

"Be careful, Rob." Cas looked up and gave a small smile. "I get why he lets you so close. You're a good person. You deserve to be happy. Thank you for being his…my friend."

Rob smiled. "I have tried. Don't get me wrong, he can be a difficult person to care about, but he's kind of all I got, too." Rob's smile faltered a little. "There's something I don't get, though. This place; the good gets better, and the bad gets worse. It's the one certainty that we can count on. But I just stay the same."

"Maybe you're one of the lucky people that are pretty much good the way they are. Most of us are constantly searching for something that's just beyond our reach, but you seem to accept anything that's thrown at you. Being genuine has its rewards." Cas looked around, squinting into the sun. "With me, I've never quite found where I belong. Never quite know what the right thing to do is. This place, or maybe it's the sigil, I don't know, but it makes me want things I've never wanted before. Makes me see things I've never seen before and feel things I've never felt before. It makes me want to stop fighting and just be."

"You know, since you're stuck here anyway, maybe you should give 'just being' a shot. Might not be so bad." Rob looked up and saw Dean headed toward them. "Looks like it's time for me to hit the road. Rob nodded toward Dean and Cas followed his cue, a smile lighting up his face.

The two men stood up and Rob extended his hand to Cas. "It was nice meeting you. I'm glad I got a chance to know you."

Cas took his hand and gently shook it. "Thank you."

"Hope I'm not interrupting the male bonding, but I'd like my angel back." Dean smiled, but immediately dropped the act. He was shaken and just didn't have the stamina for sarcasm.

"Yeah well, I'll be headed out. It was nice to get a chance to meet you too, Dean. Take care." Rob gave Cas one last nod and headed off back towards the Hotel to pack up.

"You okay?" Cas could see that Dean was far from okay, but he asked the pointless question anyway, taking Dean's hand in his own.

Dean looked down and smiled at the way his fingers automatically intertwined with Cas'. He liked the connection, cherished it actually. However, his conscience wouldn't allow him to savor the moment and his smile faltered as he pulled his hand away. "Honestly, I'm not sure if I'm okay or not." He ran his hand through his hair and thought about whether or not he should tell Cas what happened. "Did you know, Cas?"

"No, I never saw what happened when you died. Rob told me that you did something to keep Castiel…me from being able to heal you…to keep me away. That is all I know." Cas realized that Dean was struggling with the details. "That's more than I need to know, Dean. It doesn't matter, none of it matters, because none of it will happen."

"If it doesn't happen, then why is it still a part of his past?" Dean couldn't look Cas in the eyes. He felt too guilty.

Cas took Dean's hand again. "Look at me." He waited until Dean raised his head. "Time travel is complicated. It's not as simple as your movies make it out to be."

Dean smiled. "I guess you don't have the time to educate me on space-time whatever though, right?" He put his free arm around Cas' waist and leaned his head down on Cas' shoulder.

Cas pulled back and frowned. "I guess there is time if you really want me to explain it. I'm not sure you'd find the topic interesting. It's all very technical. Are you sure there isn't something more enjoyable that you'd rather do?"

"Something more enjoyable?" Dean grinned. Too many examples of 'more enjoyable things' popped into Dean's mind. He looked up and smirked at Cas, whom Dean was sure had absolutely no idea how suggestive that statement was. The innocent, lost look on his face suddenly made Dean feel a little sick. "You know what, I'm hungry. We should find something to eat." There was no way he was going there after what he'd just seen. He internally chastised himself.

Cas felt Dean tense up and pull back. "Okay. Castiel seems a little obsessive about keeping us well fed. I'm sure there's food in the room. Let's go." He tugged Dean's hand as he turned in the direction of the hotel, but Dean resisted.

"I'm sure they have restaurants or something around here. Why don't we see what kind of food they serve? Healthy can't all be bad."

Cas finally picked up on what was going on. "Are we really gonna do this, Dean? If you don't want to be alone with me, just say so. I'll go back to the room, get you some food and bring it back out here. We can't go to a restaurant because we don't have money and I'm pretty sure using one of your credit cards would get us in trouble." Cas pulled his hand from Dean's and started to walk towards the hotel.

"Cas, wait." He could easily read the hurt look that replaced Cas' smile just minutes before. It seemed every time he tried to do the right thing, he just ended up hurting him more. "I do want to be alone with you, and that's the problem."

Cas stopped and stood in place to let Dean catch up to him. "I don't understand how being alone with me is a problem. We've been alone together many times before."

Dean hesitated a moment, not quite sure how to explain. "I've never wanted anyone or anything more than I want you right now. I want to spend an eternity proving to you that everything I just heard myself say, was a lie. And that's just it, this…these freakin 'feelings', I've never been like this before. It doesn't feel like me. I'm afraid if I'm alone with you, I'll hurt you, and there's no one here to protect you this time."

"You think what you saw was more real than what you feel now? That, that person was more who you are than this?" Cas put his hand over Dean's heart and looked into his eyes. "Then tell me what you said to me. I want to hear the words that you think are so real."

"You said you didn't need to know any details." Dean shook his head. "Cas, this isn't really you either. Do you even hear how romantic we both sound? This isn't 'us'. I'm not romantic. I'm beer and loud music, whiskey and fast women. And you…" Dean put his hand over the hand that Cas still had over his heart. "Dude, you're freakin oblivious to romance and crap like that. Any other time you'd be uttering some pointless B.S. about how the heart pumps blood or something, not being all cute and sweet. You're prickly and freakin square as hell. You sure as hell wouldn't be acting this way."

Cas removed his hand and nodded. He couldn't deny the truth in Dean's words, but he also couldn't deny that he liked being different. "Okay, then tell me what you heard yourself tell me. It's just a few words." Cas refused to allow Dean to look away as he waited for the answer he knew he'd get.

"I can't. I can't and I won't." Dean turned away and looked out into the distance. "I know I'm no good for you, Cas. Castiel knows it. Hell, even Rob knows it. You seem to be the only one who refuses to get it."

Cas huffed. This made the second time he heard that statement today, ironically for opposite ends of the argument. He was starting to think that he was the only one that did get it. "If you believe all that's true, that you really are someone who'd purposely hurt me. If you really believe your words were true, why is it that you can't even bring yourself to repeat them, even second hand?"

Dean closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "You're the one who said this world wasn't real. I'm just agreeing with you."

Cas took a step forward and softly lifted Dean's chin. "I was wrong. This is real. I think, maybe a little too real, actually." Cas watched Dean's eyes soften as they met his own. Rob's advice replayed in Cas' head. They had to go home, yes, the fantasy would have to end. But for now, why not just 'be'? "Dean, tell me what you want."

Dean's resolve broke the moment Cas touched his skin. He was too close, yet still too far away. Dean reached up and gently ran a fingertip over the angel's lips. "You. I can't help it, Cas. I want you."

**AN: Thanks for reading. Please let me know what you think. Next chapter will be some fluff, with an extra serving of fluff on the side.**


	14. Chapter 14: It All Comes Crashing Down

_There's not as much fluff in here as I wanted because the chapter got a little too long, so much of the fluff intended for this chapter had to be pushed back for the next chapter. I was looking back to double check my timeline and realized that after 14 chapters, only two days had passed. I thought I should probably advance the plot at least a little. I promise that I did proof read this, but for some reason I still miss a lot of typos. Sorry if you happen to find them._

**Chapter 14: It All Comes Crashing Down**

"Did you do what I asked, Margaret?" Maggie slowly turned from the quiet calm of the ocean shore to look at Castiel.

"Those people trusted you, Castiel. They believed in you." Her long, blond hair blew in the breeze and the golden sun at her back made her appear to glow. Castiel had never seen an angel wearing a vessel, look quite so 'angelic'. The long, white, flowing fabric of the dress she wore only added to the image as it too, was swept around her in the calm breeze.

"The committee was established for appearance value alone, as a beta test. They never held any real power. You know that." He gazed out into the water. "What they trusted me to do, is fix this world. That is still what I'm trying to do."

Maggie shook her head. "You undo months of work because you can't handle one decision?"

"It was the wrong decision. They made their ruling based on fear, not fact. It was unjust and only proves that they are not ready for the responsibilities before them." Here, in this place, beside the majestic beauty of the sea, it was easy to forget that the entire world was falling apart. Every living thing on this planet was facing destruction and its survival depended on humanity's ability to make the right choices, to live according to rules that were beyond their very nature. "I did it for the greater good, Maggie."

"Do you even know what the greater good is any more, Castiel? What happened to 'keeping the face of an Angel'?"

Castiel smirked and glared at her. "I still have the face of an Angel. This vessel remains unchanged. The humans can't see my true form."

"Maybe not, but I can and what I see scares me. It should scare you too." She moved closer and ran her fingertips over his cheek, staring into his eyes. "The eyes are windows to the soul, Castiel. There's nothing but death staring out."

Castiel abruptly pushed her back, his eyes brimming with anger. "I don't have a soul, so of course nothing stares back." He inhaled deeply, trying to control his anger. "I'll ask you one more time: Did you do as I asked? Is everything ready?"

"Yes Castiel, I did what you asked. However, I fail to understand why you're doing this. If you're goal is to become a monster, you have already achieved the status." She watched as he flinched at the insult. "You know what will most likely happen if it goes too far. Dean will rip him to shreds." She walked around him, forcing him to follow her movement. "Let me ask you this: Will you stop it before it goes too far, Castiel?"

"It will go too far, of that I have no doubts. But no, I have no intention of intervening. I have more important matters to attend to."

"He will kill him, Castiel."

He smiled. "You and I both know that he won't." His smile faded and he looked straight at her. "The time for lies has come to an end, including yours."

She shook her head and frowned. "This is a very dangerous game of chess, Castiel."

"My intentions are much more profound than a simple chess game, Margaret."

Maggie watched as the superiority façade slightly flickered into sadness for a brief instant. "All this time you knew? You knew all along and that they really do love each other? Why pretend to hate him?"

He looked out into the blazing sun once again and closed his eyes, feeling the warmth on his skin. "I am not pretending anything. Believe it or not, finding out that he truly loves that angel has absolutely nothing to do with his feelings for me, or mine for him." He turned from the sun to look back at Maggie. "This is the way that I win, plain and simple."

"I thought the time for lying was over?" She realized that he wasn't gonna budge on the subject. She looked at him with pity clearly visible on her face. "You know Castiel, sometimes the greater reward comes from losing."

"Right now, the only thing I'm losing is patience for your cryptic mutterings." He looked at her and softened a bit. "Maggie, I have been both winner and loser. I can tell you that there usually isn't much difference in the two. I don't need your advice, I need your loyalty."

"I should think that I've proven myself loyal, Castiel. It is only because of my loyalty that I feel the need to tell you how I feel." Her eyes reflected only sadness as she again placed a hand to his cheek. "You are very close to defeat Castiel. You are following his path now, not your own. You know how that ends."

"The end has yet to be written, Maggie."

Rob drove down the road, windows rolled down; a cool breeze blowing through his hair as jazz blasted from the speakers. He watched as the tall trees swayed in the gentle breeze, lining the road, punctuated by wildflowers and bright, green grass, adding an innocence that this would hadn't seen in decades. It was hard to believe that only two years ago, this very same road had been littered, the trees cut down and flowers strangled beneath discarded soda cans and fast food wrappers. Everything was renewing and the world seemed almost on the brink of paradise.

Castiel had made this happen. The future that Cas told him about, made no sense. Things were getting better, not worse. For the first time since that awful day in the park, Rob felt hope. He smiled and tapped his finger on the steering wheel to the beat of the music. Maybe, just maybe, everything would be okay.

He was so caught up in the view of the rolling hills that he almost missed the vibration of his cell phone. "Hey Jeer. You calling to let me know you took out all the bad guys already?" Rob laughed into the phone, reaching down to lower the volume of his music. "I'm about…" Rob's face fell at the words he heard next.

"Rob, you can't come here. This was a trap." Her words were whispered, barely audible over the sound of the rolling wind.

Rob rolled up the window and turned on the speaker phone. "Tell me your exact location. What are your coordinates?" His request was met with silence. "Jerrie, your coordinates. Tell me, now!" Rob was practically shouting into the phone as he stepped on the gas pedal, pushing the car as hard as he could; needing to get to his partner.

"Rob, I need you to listen to me. It's too late." The sadness and despair in her voice was evident, although she was doing her very best to keep her voice as calm as possible. "I was brought here to be killed. I've managed to stay alive this long, but I'm out of ammo now and they keep coming. It's like instead of destroying the mutated, they've been bringing them here. This place is a wasteland. It's like nothing I've ever seen before except in 'end of the world' movies."

"Jerrie, just hang on for a little while longer. I'm coming for you." He was desperately trying to keep his voice calm, but quickly starting to panic. "Don't you dare give up, Jerrie. You listen to me. I'm coming for you."

"Rob, you can't save me. Don't be an idiot. You have to tell Castiel what's going on." Rob heard a loud crashing noise in the background. "Listen to me. I heard them talking. They said they were going to destroy the one thing that he cares the most about. They said if they kill him, he'll give up. Rob, you have to tell Castiel that Dean is in danger."

"Jerrie, I'm an hour away, at the most. Just hold on a little longer." Rob looked down at the phone in his shaking hand and pressed down even harder on the gas pedal.

"I'm gonna make this decision for you, Rob. You can't come here. They will kill you. They know you're coming." Rob heard the tell-tale click of a gun being cocked. "I saved one bullet."

"No! Don't you dare do this; not to me. Jerrie, please." Tears now stained Rob's face.

"I can't let you die trying to save me, Rob. I'm so sorry." There was a second pause as Jerrie wiped the tears from her eyes. "I love you Preacher Rob."

"Oh god, Jerrie. Please. Damn it girl, I love you too. Please don't do this." Rob was now crying into the phone, praying she wouldn't do it.

There was the sound of another crash. "Be safe, Rob. For me." A single gunshot was the next sound he heard and his heart sank.

Cas took a step impossibly closer to Dean, running his hand over Dean's chest. "I want you too. I think that maybe I always have, but just didn't understand it until now."

"Cas…" Dean slowly ran his fingers through Cas' hair and smiled at the man, the very human man, standing in front of him. He'd wanted to hear those words for so long, but couldn't help being afraid that they weren't real, that none of this was real. He let his fingers slide from Cas' head downward over the contours of Cas' face, mapping out the soft wrinkles and gentle slopes of his features, a look of concentration on his face as if he were trying to memorize every detail. He barely had to move to close the short distance between his lips and those of his angel in a brief chaste kiss. "I'm afraid this is the wrong thing. I'm so afraid to hurt you, Cas."

"You won't hurt me, Dean." Cas smiled fondly. "I'm not a porcelain doll, you won't break me."

"Damn it Cas, you saw what happened at that memorial place. How the hell can you be so willing to risk both our lives after what I…" Dean took a step back and ran his fingers through his own hair in frustration. "You know there's a chance I could hurt you. And I know that you won't stop me." And that was the whole problem. Castiel was right and it terrified him.

"As usual, you are putting too much thought into this." Cas grabbed Dean's arm and pulled him back into his chest. "You won't change this time. There's no risk." He saw the uncertainty in Dean's eyes and answered the unspoken question. "I know this because I have faith in our friendship. I have faith in you. I'd easily trust you with my life, without hesitation. But if I weren't certain, I'd never risk yours."

How anyone could possibly find that kind of faith in him, was a totally foreign concept to Dean, but something about the honest, trusting, almost child-like expression on Cas' face told him that he'd meant every word. "God Cas, you and your damn newly found, girlie side is gonna kill me." He laughed nervously while wiping a tear from his eye.

Cas' hand instinctively went to Dean's cheek, wiping a second tear away. "No more jokes Dean. No hiding, no running. Just me and you, okay?"

Dean nodded and wet his lips, pursing them together before smiling at Cas. "No more jokes." He pulled Cas into himself and cradled his hand behind Cas' neck, kissing him the way a man should kiss the person he loves.

Tongues collided in abandon, the entire world around them, falling away. Dean could feel all the doubt slowly easing with each passing moment. He pressed Cas against a tall maple tree and leaned in, pressing their chests and hips together to get as much contact as possible. He'd made so many bad choices, done so many bad things in his life, but he knew without a doubt, that this wasn't wrong. "Want you so much, Cas." Dean spoke the words into Cas' neck as he worked his way downward to his collar bone. "Tell me again that you want me, Cas. I want to hear it."

Cas' breath was ragged, his fingertips dug into Deans sides as if he were holding on to the most precious thing in creation, afraid it would disappear if he let go. "I want you Dean. I always have and I always will." He let his head fall back into the bark of the tree, encouraging Dean's continued exploration.

"Um, guys…" A small voice and tap on the shoulder interrupted the very impure thought Dean was having at the moment.

"Son of a bitch. I am sick of all you interfering sons of…" Dean was rendered speechless when he turned around and literally had to look down to see the smiling face of the king of bad timing. "What are you…like twelve?"

"No sir. I turned seventeen last May. You can't start enforcer training until you're either eighteen or a high school graduate. I graduated early and signed up when I was sixteen and a half. Youngest enforcer, ever!" The kid's toothy smile just irritated Dean even more.

"Well, cookies and milk for you. Why are you bugging us, kid?"

"I'm sorry sir, but Castiel…" Dean cut him off with a groan.

"Castiel, of course." He turned to Cas who had an amused grin on his face. "You know Cas, I really don't like 'grown-up' you." Cas laughed and stifled a sarcastic comeback, duly noting Dean's very aggravated demeanor.

The young man waited for Dean to pay him attention before he started again. "Sir, Castiel asked me to deliver this to you." He handed Dean an envelope which contained a very official looking document. Dean cocked his eyebrow and waited for the kid to explain. "It um, gives you two permission to uh, you know… Please don't make me say it."

Dean looked at the kid and laughed. "You know, that's exactly what you just very rudely interrupted. Yeah, I get it. You delivered it. Thank you for that. Now scram so we can get back to more enjoyable things." He stuck the envelope in his pocket after giving the kid a mocking wink and turned back to Castiel who was leaning against the tree with his arms crossed, an all-too-amused grin on his face.

"Um, I'm sorry again sir. My name is Miles, by the way." He waited for Dean to turn back around. "Sir, even with the proper documentation, public indecency is still not allowed by law. Castiel told me that you two tend to have an issue with that particular law."

"Oh, he did, did he?" Dean stepped closer to the smaller person, hoping that he could intimidate him enough to get rid of him, but Cas grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him back and smiled.

"Dean, he's just a messenger. I believe those are one of the things that humans don't shoot." He turned to the young man. "Miles, thank you for delivering the message. We will head back to our room without breaking any further laws. We just got a little carried away."

Dean rolled his eyes and shook his head. While he definitely had no objection to going back to the room, the kid was pissing him off.

"I'm sorry sir, but Castiel asked me to escort you to a new location." Miles shifted nervously when Dean glared at him suspiciously.

"What new location?"

"Castiel told me to tell you…" He pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and read from it. "…I have reconsidered the terms of our negotiation and decided that you may keep your angel. I have also decided that you may all stay fully conscious and live in this world. The committee is no longer an issue, as I have terminated their positions. I am giving you everything you want. All I ask in return is your sworn declaration of intent to not return to your own time."

Dean and Cas exchanged confused glances. Dean took the paper from Miles' hand, re-read it and looked back up at the kid. "Really?"

Miles nodded. "Yes sir, really."

Dean turned to Cas and huffed. "Nope, this doesn't seem the least bit sketchy at all."

Cas nodded in agreement. "Miles, why didn't Castiel come here himself? Where is he?"

"I don't ask too many questions sir, but I believe he had to take care of something here, then he was headed to Montana to deal with that situation."

"Can't he just zap there, do the whole two handed, light show and be done with it?" Dean didn't know as much about what was happening there as Cas did, but he did get the gist of it.

Miles looked between Cas and Dean. He knew Cas was Castiel from the past and Dean was the past version of the dead Dean, but the whole situation made him nervous. He had expected them to just do what Castiel wanted. He was unprepared for all the questions. Not many people questioned Castiel's orders. "Yes sir, I guess he could, but I believe they are hoping to save some innocent lives, like children and the pets."

Now it was Cas' turn to be confused. "The pets? You're telling us that Castiel puts effort and manpower into rescuing pets?"

"Yes sir. Anytime there is an incident, innocent animals are left behind with no one to care for them. Sam insisted that a network of shelters be set up to care for them until they can be adopted by new families."

"Sam? As in my brother, Sam?" Dean questioned the kid. Hearing about Sam shattered the illusion that Sam wasn't real here, that he was safe and secure back at their hotel. Interacting with one person that technically could be a female him, was one thing. But knowing he actually was a living breathing part of this world was quite another.

The young man fidgeted nervously, seeing Dean's agitation. He was talking to a dead man, and it was actually perfectly okay to be uneasy about it. "Yes sir, I believe it is the same Sam. Tall guy, long hair, really nice. I liked your brother a lot. He was very helpful to me when I started out. I'm sort of smaller than everyone else and it was rough at first. Sam was nice to me, defended me."

"Saint Sammy strikes again." Dean looked at Cas and shook his head. "Man, that guy has everyone thinking he's the nice one."

Cas laughed. "Maybe that's because he had a great role model." Dean didn't have a response to that.

"I thought Sam and Castiel were on opposite sides of the playing field in this whole mess?" Dean asked the kid. He liked the guy a little more now.

"No sir, not until the end. Sam and Castiel were friends. They worked together until…well, until Sam thought Castiel crossed the line by ordering people to be killed before they changed." He quickly noticed how both Dean and Cas suddenly seemed much less friendly and realized how his statement must sound to people unfamiliar with the way this society worked. "It's not what you or Sam thought. Castiel was right. We worked out a scientific chart of how many times each sin or law could be broken before a person changed. It was thoroughly tested before it was enacted into law. They would have changed and possibly killed innocent people. Castiel's way saves lives."

"But Sam didn't agree?" Dean knew Sam would never agree to that. It surprised him to realize that he actually did agree with the logic.

"No. He said that Castiel should have learned from others' mistakes; that he should know better. He said something about militant tactics and fear not being the answer." Miles looked between the two. "In the end, Sam lost it. He kept saying that he had to fix Castiel, that something went wrong. He started breaking laws himself, I guess to push Castiel into seeing how it was wrong. Honestly, I didn't understood his logic. Sam, of all people, knew the consequences for certain actions." He looked over at Dean and instantly noted his confusion. "He started to change. Even though he was just doing minor things that, in the past would seem insignificant, here even little crimes have a very negative impact on people. Castiel put him to sleep to stop it from happening because he couldn't kill him. I was there when it happened."

Cas stepped forward. "But Jerrie said that…"

"Jerrie didn't see what happened. She didn't know that he was changing. She was standing behind Sam. Castiel didn't want her to know the truth so he let her believe that he did it just to shut him up. Rob and I are the only two that know the whole truth, well, now you guys know too." Dean smiled slightly, relieved that Castiel had actually done it to protect Sam instead of hurt him, like Cas and Jerrie assumed.

Miles looked down at his watch. "I'm sorry, but we really need to get moving if we're going to get to our destination before sunset."

"Yeah, okay." Dean wrapped his arm around Cas' waist and began walking beside Miles towards the car. "Is this allowed?" He pointed to where his arm was around Cas.

"Yes, just no tongue or below the belt stuff." Miles answered bluntly, not really looking at the two.

Dean rolled his eyes. "Bunch of prudes around here."

"It's not prudish to show respect for the people around you, sir. It's called dignity." The kid shot back without missing a beat."

"Save the lecture for someone who's not old enough to be your old man, kid. And call me Dean from now on, you're making me feel old with all the 'sir' crap."

"Still thinking this place is perfect?" Cas asked innocently.

Dean opened the car door for him and swatted him on the butt as he got in. "Just shut up, smartass. We should make out in the back seat the whole way there as revenge for implying that we have no dignity."

Cas shook his head and huffed. "Would you just play nice?"

Dean smirked and wiggled his eyebrows. "I intended to play very nicely."

"Front seat, now." Cas pushed Dean out of the way and shut the door.

Rob slammed on the brakes; the car skidded to a stop on the side of the road. He climbed out, barely freeing himself from the safety belt before throwing up. He sat down in the grass, cradling his head, replaying his conversation with Steve over and over again, trying to figure out what he missed. How he didn't know.

"Castiel!" He shouted the name into the sky.

Castiel appeared, immediately taking in Rob's pale skin and the soiled ground. "Are you sick?" He crouched down next to Rob, placing his hand on Rob's forehead, in an unusual human-ish way. "What's wrong?"

"Jerrie's dead, Castiel." He stood up, facing the angel. "The whole thing was a trap, some sort of bizarre set-up." Rob wiped tears from his face as Castiel watched in silent shock. "She called me a few minutes ago and I heard her…" He paused again to compose himself. Damn if he wasn't handling this like a freakin wimp. He took a deep breath, knowing Castiel would be unimpressed with his over-flow of emotions. "Steve and Gerald brought her there to be killed. She killed herself to keep me from going there to try to save her."

Despite his best efforts to remain calm, Rob was shaking and tears were falling from his eyes and Castiel was completely out of his comfort zone. He didn't know what to say or do to help Rob feel better. "Rob, you need to calm down."

"You want me to calm down? I just had to listen to my partner blow her head off." Rob looked up with angry, bloodshot eyes. "I let my son and wife die, now this, just when I think things might actually be okay. How the hell do you expect me to calm down? I'm a damn human. We have limits. You'd think that by now you might have picked up on that." He was yelling at Castiel and, damn it, it felt good. "Unlike you, we have feelings. We can't turn ourselves into a damn statue at will."

Castiel flinched at the accusation. "I sometimes forget that. You always handle everything and you keep going. I am sorry, I just don't know how to make you feel better."

Rob looked up at him, his eyes a little drier. "You can't make me feel better." He felt guilty for what he'd said. He knew Castiel could feel and he knew why he refused to allow it to show. "I'm sorry for what I said. I'm just upset."

"You shouldn't apologize for telling the truth. I know what I am." He took a step closer to where Rob stood with his eyes lowered to the ground. "She apparently did it to keep you safe. You can take solace in that." Castiel started to put a hand on his shoulder, but pulled back before doing so.

Rob shook his head. "Really, I know you're trying, but you can take your solace and shove it up your ass. I just want to find those bastards and rip their heads off." He started to walk away, but this time Castiel did put a hand on his shoulder.

"Robert, I don't have the right words to make this okay and I can't bring her back. I wish I could." He removed his hand, sensing Rob's discomfort. "I don't know what to say, but I know that she would want us to fix this." He paused for a moment, grateful that Rob seemed calmer. "I thought you had the resistance people under control?"

"I do have them under control. That's the thing. Steve and Gerald weren't a part of the resistance. They were completely loyal to you, to their jobs. This whole thing makes no sense. They are-were, good men. I don't understand."

Castiel's face suddenly lost all expression. "Yes, actually it makes sense. But I thought I had seventy-two hours. It's only been forty-eight." Rob looked questioningly at Castiel, but didn't interrupt his train of thought. "They were part of the freedom movement that I told you about in the other timeline; the reality if Dean survives. The members of that movement believed in freedom at any cost, including the end of everything. You already know this." He shook his head and huffed, realizing that Rob still seemed completely lost. "Dean and Cas, they must find a way to get home. It's the only thing that makes sense, the two realities are folding in on each other."

Rob looked like a deer caught in headlights. "How is that even possible?"

"Technically, it shouldn't be, at least not this way. We shouldn't even notice it happening. When something happens to alter a timeline, it's usually immediate and seamless. One world just 'becomes' the other. They don't intertwine." He put his hands on Rob's shoulders and lightly shook him out of his thoughts. "Rob, did Jerrie say anything else?"

"Yeah, she said to tell you that Dean's in danger. She overheard them talking about destroying the thing you care about the most. That you'd surrender if they got to him."

Castiel realized what had to be done. "They weren't talking about Dean." Rob's eyes were still glassy and full of sadness. "Robert, I know this is tough. I know that Jerrie meant a great deal to you, but I need you to pull it together and do something for me."

Rob knew he had to suck it up, but damn it, he wanted a few moments to feel. He always went on though, pushed it down. The show has to go on, right? "Yeah Castiel, I know. What do we do now?"

"I need you to get to Sam. Sam's the one they're going after." Castiel was grateful when Rob just nodded his head instead of questioning the fact. "He's in a private rehabilitation center in Upstate, New York. I need you to get him safely out of there and bring him to Dean and Cas." Castiel pulled a slip of paper out of his pocket and drew a symbol on it with a pen he grabbed from inside Rob's car. "This sigil will wake him up. After he's awake use the compliance spell on him. That should keep him from mutating further, all it really does is slow down metabolism and suppress adrenaline. You should be able to calm him enough to explain that Dean is here and safe. It should reverse the mutation. I know I caught it in time."

Rob took the paper and stuffed it in his pocket. "Why can't you just beam over there and get him? I mean, I don't mind, but that's at least a half-day trip by car and if we only have twenty-four hours left…"

"Because it is imperative to my plan that Dean and Cas figure some things out. Rob, what I'm planning is pretty unkind, but it has to be done." Castiel gazed into the road ahead. "I need to handle the situation in Montana. It's too dangerous, especially for you. I trust you to get Sam safely out of there. And Rob, you're not going to like this but, if you run into Steve and Gerald, you can't harm them."

"You're freakin kidding me, right? He moved to stand in front of Castiel. "Those two sons of bitches killed Jerrie. I plan to…"

"Listen to me Robert. If the two realities are truly colliding, what they did, it was on you order. It was a trap, but not for you. It was for him."

"Him, as in…?"

"Yes."

"You're telling me that Jerrie was with him?" Rob's mouth fell open, the sadness returned to his eyes. "That's why you wanted to personally make sure she got to rehab." After all this time, he finally understood Castiel's personal interest in some random drug addict. "Did Sam know?"

"No, but when he showed up I knew he'd take care of her and I thought it might be good for him to have someone to take care of, someone he could 'fix'."

"Castiel, what about Dean? If these worlds are colliding, isn't there a chance he could become…"

Castiel knew what Rob was thinking. "No, it would be like me and Cas, two separate entities. However, there is a chance that there is no longer a body buried in that field. I think you know what you have to do if you see him." Castiel pursed his lips together and looked down.

Rob saw Castiel's reaction and nodded. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure I do, but, and I'm sorry to make you do this, but I need you to give the order, just so that there's no miscommunication."

The Castiel who was always so sure and strong, visibly paled, but nodded. He closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath. "Do not engage in any way. Do not attempt to capture or injure." He paused for a moment before continuing. "Execute him on sight. That is my order." Castiel started to walk away, his head suddenly began to hurt.

"Castiel, wait." Rob caught up to Castiel, Cas' words from earlier echoed in his head. "What about you? Are you gonna be able to keep your own order? Because Cas said…"

Castiel looked at him with a new fury in his expression that Rob had never seen before. His gray eyes almost seemed to flash black for a brief second. As quickly as it came, it was gone and the rage was replaced by an eerie calmness. "He won't be looking for me, I'm dead in his world. You're his enemy, Rob. You are the leader of the freedom movement, the one man he wants destroyed above all else. He'll be hunting you, so please be careful."

It was odd, how hearing all this didn't really seem like a surprise. It didn't scare him either. He was very capable of being an obsessed bastard if the stakes were high enough. "Don't worry, I'll be careful." Rob paused, wondering if he should say what was on his mind. "Castiel, I know you don't want to hear this, but there is a way to stop this right now."

Castiel knew exactly what Rob was thinking, they'd talked about it already and Castiel had made his opinion very clear. "Don't start Rob. You heard what I said. This has not changed my mind."

"Yeah, I heard you, but we both know you were lying. I think a part of you knows that the committee was right." Rob softened his voice, knowing Castiel had already made his mind up about the issue. Still, it had to be considered. "The one sure way that he can't return to his time, is if he's dead. You know it and I know it."

Castiel turned to Rob, much to Rob's surprise, there was no anger, only uncertainty. "I know. I'm not stupid, but I'd rather not."

Castiel could fool everyone else. He had the entire planet believing that he was some heartless, cold warrior, hell bent on saving the world. He even believed it himself, but Rob wasn't fooled by the act. He knew what Castiel was underneath the wall he'd erected against feelings, against more hurt. "Look, I know… I know you don't want to do it, and I don't want you to have to do it. But my offer still stands. I'm willing to do it for you if it needs to be done." He had started to like Dean, he could see the goodness in him, behind the sarcasm and attitude. He knew he could even come to see the guy as a friend even, eventually. But fact was still fact.

Castiel shook his head. "He is innocent, Rob. Regardless of the circumstances, you know what you'll become if you kill an innocent person. The logic doesn't matter, only the act."

"I think that this may be one of the times that it's worth the cost." He realized how callous it was to be offering to kill an innocent human being, but the world was collapsing around them. So much effort had been put into fixing things, making the world a livable, survivable planet. How do you weigh the importance of one or two human lives against the fate of the world?

"I still have twenty-four hours until the damage is beyond repair." He didn't know that for sure, but he hoped his lie was convincing enough to fool Rob. "If I can't convince him, I'll handle it myself. He's my responsibility, not yours."

Castiel reached into his coat and pulled out an angel blade, but it was slightly different. This one had special markings on it and had a blackish tint. "This is the only weapon in existence that will destroy what I will become if…" He handed it to Rob. "We're so close to a solution. We can't give up. You'll have to take over. Sam can help you."

Once again Rob shied away from taking a knife from Castiel. He cringed at the memory of Cas holding one out to him, saying fate had designated him Brutus. "You are better suited to repair this world. You're smarter and stronger. You can fix this. I should be the one to die."

Castiel rolled his eyes, but smiled just a little. "This world was intended to be run by humans, not those like me." He grabbed Rob's hand and forced the blade into it. "It may not even come to that, this is just in case. I am confident in my plan. Just promise me, if it does come to it, that you will use that blade. I can assure you, it is what I will want."

Rob shook his head and frowned. He knew that if Castiel had to kill Dean, there would be no coming back from that. "Yeah, I don't want this, but I do promise." He somehow doubted it was a promise he'd have to keep anyway.

"Good, now get to Sam before they do. I'll see you soon." Castiel disappeared, leaving Rob alone with his thoughts and a twelve hour journey to work them all out. The only thing he knew for certain was, he would not be back before the twenty-four hour deadline was up. This whole thing rested solely with Castiel, and Rob wasn't so sure of his faith in Castiel's ability to handle this situation.

"Dude, what the hell? Did he take me literally when I told him to put us on a mountain?" Dean thought about it a second, then rolled his eyes. "What am I even asking? Of course he did, this is Castiel we're talking about."

The car came to a stop at the foot of what appeared to be a massive mountainside. Trees and vines clung to the sides of tall boulders, the size of skyscrapers.

Miles laughed. "No, he didn't. This isn't actually a 'real' mountain. It's just a barrier. Maggie made a perfect replica of your 'personal heaven'. This is just an illusion to keep curious people out."

"So this isn't real. It's like Fantasy Island and Maggie's Mr. Roarke?" Miles looked at Dean with a blank expression, not sure what he was talking about. Instead he pulled out what looked like a small iPad and doodled something with his finger, then placed his thumb pad over the doodle. Suddenly the illusion vanished like a mirage and a new road appeared.

"This is real, but you can think of the entrance way as a high-tech security system. It will keep unwanted visitors away. I designed the remote myself. I'll show you how to use it once we get inside."

"Bill Gates meets Harry Potter…cool." Dean laughed at his own joke since no one else did and turned around in his seat to see what Cas thought about all this, but when his eyes met the Angel's, what he saw worried him. Cas was looking out the window, a frown on his face. "Something about this not sitting right with you, Cas?" Angel mojo or not, Cas would know better than him if something was off.

Cas forced a small smile when he noticed Dean looking at him. "He is very clever. This is an interesting strategy."

Dean laughed. "Yeah, it's fascinating. Talk about wasting resources." He was confused by Cas' slight smirk at his response. "Cas man, you don't really think I'm dumb enough to fall for this?"

"Of course not. This is too over the top. I know you'd never fall for this and so does he."

"Then why the sour puss?" Cas' smile didn't fool Dean. Something about this was bothering him and Dean could tell.

Cas dropped the act and let his discomfort at the situation clearly show. "Because this particular tactic is not for your benefit. It's for mine."

When Cas didn't elaborate, Dean huffed, getting annoyed. He'd thought they'd gotten past keeping secrets. "Care to elaborate?"

Cas ignored Dean's frustration. "Not really." He slowly rolled his eyes over to the back of Miles' head. Dean nodded in understanding and turned back around.

"We're here." Miles pulled the car into a short gravel driveway in front of a smallish house nestled among tall oak trees and pines. The driveway was lined with untrimmed rose bushes, intertwined with free growing wild flowers.

The single story house was painted in a soft, golden beige color with rich, mahogany toned trim. The paint seemed slightly weathered in some places, but not bad enough to need re-painting. There was a small porch on the front, complete with two wooden chairs and a small table. Overall, it had the appearance of a typical, well lived in, middle-class home.

The three men stepped out of the car. Dean stretched his limbs after the long drive and looked around. "Not a very impressive house for being 'personal heaven' status."

Miles shrugged. "It's not my idea of heaven, but whatever." He was interrupted by the sudden 'sci-fi' ring tone of his cell phone. He looked down at the message and frowned, then typed in a brief response before looking back up at Dean. "That was Castiel. He said Rob is on his way to pick up Sam and he'd be here in the morning." He quickly tucked the small iPad/remote into his pocket. "I'll see you guys in, then I'll be headed to my place. It's about half a mile further down the road."

Dean easily noticed how Miles was upset by the message and how he hid the remote, making them basically hostages in this so-called heaven, but chose to ignore it. "Castiel knows how to text?"

Miles gave him an odd expression. "Of course he does. Why wouldn't he?" He looked over to Cas, as if asking him.

Cas shot Dean a dirty look before answering Miles. "Dean tends to think I'm a moron." He turned back to Dean. "I am sure that learning to adapt to human technology is within my capabilities." Cas stared at Dean, as though trying to tell him something without words.

Miles looked between the two for a moment, but quickly became uncomfortable. He broke the silence by clearing his throat. "Okay, so here's the basics. Don't try to go into those woods across the street. That's just another barrier. It's sort of like a holodeck. Apparently monster hunting is part of your heaven, so that's a place to do that." His words were fast and brief hoping to not have to put too much effort into an explanation. The idea of it was disturbing, to say the least.

"Wait, stop right there, Skippy." Miles rolled his eyes, but waited for the question. "You telling me that my idea of heaven is hunting freakin monsters?"

"Like I said, not my idea of heaven, but whatever. Apparently the simple life is too boring for you. There's a hidden panel on the third tree to the left. You type in your code, tell the program who, if anyone, is hunting with you and the barrier opens up and a random case is started. It's always an unknown and programmed with an unlimited number of possibilities. You'll never hunt the same thing twice, and you'll have to figure out what you're hunting based on clues and stuff. The program ends when you kill the monster. It's as close to your real life as you can get; at least that's what I've been told." He secretly hoped the stories had been exaggerated, but he kept that opinion to himself.

Dean looked impressed. "Cool."

"All your weapons are still in the trunk of your car." He saw the question in Dean's face and nodded towards the garage. "Your car is in there, the keys are in the ignition."

Dean's eyes lit up. "Baby's in the garage?" He bounced on his feet like a kid who'd just been told he got a new toy.

Miles threw Dean the house keys. "It's all yours. There are two cell phones on the kitchen counter. My number's programed into both, in case you need anything. Basically, I'm your 24/7 tech support. Most of this is run by a combination of tech and magic. Unfortunately, computers tend to have bugs, so if something glitches, call me."

Miles started to walk back to his car, but remembered something and turned back around. "The kitchen's fully stocked and the television has access to any movie or show you want to watch. You'll see a remote on the coffee table. It's pretty self-explanatory; just type in what you want to watch and hit enter." He held out a hand to Dean. "I'm gonna head back to my place. Enjoy your stay at Hogworts; fully powered by Microsoft."

After shaking Cas' hand, he got back into his car and Dean and Cas watched as the headlights disappeared into the distance.

"Dude, this place is awesome." Dean grabbed Cas' hand and pulled him towards the house. He felt like a kid at an amusement park. Of course, he knew it was all a trick, but why not enjoy it while he could.

Cas pulled back, but had a smile on his face. It was so nice to see Dean happy. He knew why Castiel had done this and couldn't help thinking that it was pretty ingenious. Tomorrow morning Castiel would show up with Sam, and Dean would suddenly have everything he wanted. The only question was: Was he going to have the heart to tell him that he couldn't keep it?

"Hey, come on pokey. There's something I've wanted to teach you for about three years now and I finally have the chance."

Cas raised an eyebrow and smirked.

"Not that, well, not yet anyway. First I want to show you something else." Dean grabbed Cas' hand and pulled him along. "I finally get to teach you what a DeLorean is." Dean quickly kissed Cas' cheek and turned to open the door.

"Great, so I finally get to have the ultimate mystery of the universe revealed to me." He smiled at Dean and followed him through the house.

"Don't be a smartass. Back to the Future is a … Holy Mother of God!" Dean stopped dead in his tracks, causing Cas to bump into him. "It's like I died and went to heaven."

Mounted to the wall directly in front of them was a sixty inch, LED television, complete with surround sound and a huge, plush leather couch. Two matching recliners flanked either side of the sofa, and another iPad/remote sat in the center of a large wooden coffee table.

"Yes Dean, I think we've already established that, that's the whole point of all this." Cas looked around, unimpressed with the surroundings. "What happened to you not falling for all this?"

"Yeah well, that was totally before I knew about the huge-ass TV."

_Thank you so much for reading. I really hope you like the story so far. _


	15. Ch 15: The Line Between Heaven and Hell

**Chapter 15: The Line Between Heaven and Hell**

Dean laughed at Cas' stoic demeanor and pinched his cheek. "You don't really think I'm that easy, do you?" Teasing Cas was starting to become his new, favorite hobby. "Lighten up man, I'm just kidding. I'm not falling for it, but we can't go anywhere so we may as well take advantage. Besides, the movie I want to show you is relevant to our situation. Think of it as research." He winked flirtatiously before turning his attention to the remote.

"A fictitious Hollywood production is not going to provide us with a way out of this mess." When he saw Dean roll his eyes, Cas realized that he must have misunderstood a joke, so he softened his features. "You're right, we should forget about the end of the world and my evil self, and just have fun."

"Look, I'm not scared of Castiel. All he's trying to do is keep us from going back and making things worse, nothing else." He saw Cas huff and suddenly, he'd had enough. "You know, he has a right to be pissed at me. Hell, if I were in his shoes, I'd think I was a worthless, jackass too. And yeah, I'd definitely think you're an idiot. So I get it. Just lay off him." Besides, he'll have Sam with him tomorrow and the three of us can convince him to let us go home." Dean grinned and shrugged. "No worries."

"You're right. Sam will immediately take one look at his brother, who's been dead for eighteen months and automatically run to our rescue. He won't question a thing. Nothing to worry about at all." Cas sat down on the sofa and looked up at Dean. "Well come on, let's watch this movie you're so desperate to show me."

Dean ignored Cas' sarcasm and decided to play along. "That's the spirit." He ruffled Cas' hair and smiled. "I'm gonna go see what we have to eat around here. Get comfy. I'll be right back."

Cas scanned the room in Dean's absence, his eyes landing on framed family photographs, an old hunting rifle mounted to the wall, and several keepsakes, one of a small porcelain angel, sitting on a small shelf alongside a few old records. It was everything he'd expect Dean's heaven to be. But then his eyes fell on an old book. It looked weathered and worn, as if it'd been read many times. He walked over to the shelf and picked it up, reading the title. "Crap."

"Hey, what cha looking at?" Dean walked up behind him after placing a pizza and some beer on the table, stifling a laugh when the angel jumped in surprise at his sudden presence. _Pay back's a bitch_, he internally thought, but didn't voice the words.

"You wouldn't happen to have any particular literary interests that you've been keeping a secret, would you?"

"What? Find some porn?" Dean shrugged. "I'm not ashamed. A man's gotta have his reading materials."

"No, I was thinking more along the lines of 'Romeo and Juliet'." Cas turned around and held the book so Dean could read the cover.

"I can assure you, with 125% certainty, that book does not belong anywhere near my perfect world, or whatever this is." Dean threw his hands up, in an 'I'm innocent' gesture, moving back from it, as if it were diseased.

Cas laughed. "It's not going to bite you, Dean. It's just a book."

"Yeah, if it's so innocent, then why did I hear you say, 'crap' when you picked it up?"

"Because, if Maggie set this place up, then it stands to reason that she left this book here for a purpose. She seems to have an unhealthy fascination with the author." He walked back over to the sofa and sat down, placing the book on the table between the remote and pizza. "Quite honestly, I don't feel the desire to wade through this particular book, trying to figure out her reason for leaving it here."

Dean sat next to him and picked up the book. He turned it over in his hand and examined the worn edges. "You have a problem with Maggie and her ridiculous game of Lit. 101, or just this particular book?"

"First of all, it is an atrocious play, easily one of Shakespeare's worse. Parts of it are even laughable. If I didn't know better, I would think someone else wrote it." Dean started laughing and Cas looked at him, confused. "Why are you laughing at me?"

"Because you sound exactly like Castiel right now. Getting all worked up over some dark ages version of a Harlequin romance. Dude, if I didn't know better, I'd think you were just pissed because apparently Maggie's comparing us to them." Cas squinted his eyes at Dean in an attempt to appear angry, but Dean just laughed again. "I don't think you like being compared to a lovesick, teenage girl."

"Because of your mockery, I'm going to assume that you haven't read it." Dean tried to protest, but Cas covered his mouth. "If you had read it, you would know that this is not a romance, it's a tragedy." He grabbed the book from Dean's hands and noticed that there was a page bookmarked. "You would also know that, depending on perception, it may be you that she meant you to represent Juliet. The two characters are interchangeable, depending on the way you look at the story." He smiled victoriously at the dirty look he received from Dean at that comment.

Dean pretended to think about it a second before shaking his head. "Nope, Romeo you are not. On the other hand, I have awesome skills with the ladies."

Cas nodded his head in agreement, smiling. "Yes, I agree. Your skills are quite comparable to that of Romeo."

Dean narrowed his eyes at Cas, knowing darn good and well that there was an insult hidden in that sentence somewhere. "Okay professor, enough with the sarcasm. Just tell me, in English, what's highlighted there." He nodded to the open book. Several lines had been highlighted in a bright yellow color. "Oh, and you can leave out the insults to my intelligence. I'm smart in things that matter. I save my reading time for valuable things, like skin mags and TV Guides."

"Dean, even I know that no one actually 'reads' skin mags." Castiel smiled at him. "I also know that you are intelligent and do actually read difficult text from time to time. Although, I have to admit, the playing dumb routine is pretty smart. It makes people underestimate you, giving you an advantage."

"Yeah, well don't let my secret out. I have a rep to protect." Dean grinned and shot Cas a quick wink. "But really, what does she want us to know? I'm not playing dumb, I really don't get all that 'to be or not to be' stuff. It just never interested me. Interest is the key to IQ."

"Most of what's highlighted is the Friar's testimony. First he takes the blame for what happened, then he explains. He helped Juliet fake her death so she could escape her family to run off with Romeo. Romeo thought she was dead, so he killed himself. Juliet woke up, finding Romeo dead, so she killed herself. Basically, a lot of people die. Because of the death of their children, the two feuding families come together and end their dispute. The final line is self- explanatory. 'For never was a story of more woe than this of Juliet, and her Romeo'." Cas flipped through the pages, looking for more highlighted text. "That's it. That's what she wanted us to read."

"So where's all the sappy, romance crap that everyone always associates with this story? People are always comparing couples acting all 'lovey-dovey' to Romeo and Juliet. Why?"

"Because, for the most part, people don't understand the story. It's about two people who love each other, but are fated to never be together. Shakespeare was somewhat obsessive about the concept of 'fate'. Humans erroneously romanticize the story because they think two people who would rather die than be apart, is somehow beautiful. Romeo and Juliet were from two separate families who hated each other, yet fell in love. Falling in love against all odds, defeating fate; it is beautiful, but what humans don't realize, is that when love becomes obsession to the point of self-sacrifice, it stops being love and becomes something dark. There is nothing romantic about…." Cas stopped talking and looked up at Dean, realizing what he was saying.

Dean didn't know what to say. He realized that Cas was thinking the same as him, but that was the very distant past. They'd all changed since then. "Yeah, I guess not. So what does she think all that has to do with us?" He saw the accusation in Cas' eyes. "Yeah man, I know. We've been there, done that, but I mean now. All we were doing was having a drink at a damn bar. It wasn't anything like that. No one was sacrificing anything, just the opposite, we were finally getting things out in the open, like normal people do. If she had just stayed out of it…"

"If she had stayed out of it, I would have left." Cas could see Dean tense up. "Honestly, I considered going back to before I did what Sam told me and make sure none of it happened. I'm still not so sure that isn't the right thing to do." Dean's sudden acceptance with their current situation was proof that none of this was right. The thought of taking away everything that had transpired between them the last two days made Cas feel like his stomach was full of insects, crawling around inside him.

Dean stared at him, unbelieving. He suddenly became unable to form coherent thoughts. "Why?" So much pressure had been relieved by everything being out in the open. He knew that Cas returned his feelings and there was still a chance for a happy ending, but now Cas wanted to erase it all. The scariest part was knowing that he could.

"Because this is wrong. We have lives back in our own time, our own identities." Cas had tried to just play along, let everything just 'be', but this world changed him completely. Dean was still himself, but Cas' true identity was slowly fading into a distant memory. "This isn't me. I'm not me. You trust and respect Castiel, but not me. Dean, I knew what Sam told me to do was wrong. But I wanted to be accepted by you, to feel like I was more than just something you called when you needed help on a case. I thought if I played your prank game I could be more to you than just useful. As much as I enjoy it, now I just feel useful in a different way."

Dean's heart sank at the words. They nearly mimicked Castiel's words after he showed him the past. Dean felt like the idiot now. All the words he'd said to Castiel in that motel room, he'd already said to Cas without saying anything at all, or at least not saying it in a way Cas could understand. This was why Castiel was so quick to believe the words, why he thought Cas was an idiot. "So, you really could have just walked away?"

"You made your wishes very clear. Yes, I would have left until the next time you called me." Cas smiled at Dean, hoping to relieve some of the unfortunate tension. "Yes, I am positive you would have eventually called me again and I will always come when you call, but I can't be this. You want to stay here. I can tell, even though you pretend to be joking about it. I can't tell you that decision is right."

"Damn it, I know it's not right and I've tried not to want it, I really have." Dean looked into Cas' eyes and softly caressed his cheek, willing him to understand. "Cas, I have everything I've ever wanted here and I don't want to give it up. I know how selfish that is, but I just can't go back."

"You have all this…" He gazed around the room at all the gadgets and electronic devices and frowned disapprovingly. "…at least the important parts, at home too."

"I don't have you."

Cas stared at Dean, disbelievingly. "Yes, you do."

"You're freakin kidding me, right?" Dean turned to the table and picked up a beer, taking a drink. "The instant we get back, you'll just zap off somewhere and leave me, just like every-damn-body-else. Don't even deny it, because that's what you always do."

"I only leave because I have to." Cas had no idea that his leaving had upset Dean. He never realized that Dean had wanted him to stay. Dean never told him to stay. "And I always come back."

Dean gave him a hard scowl. "Yeah, so did the rest of them, until the time they didn't." He moved his attention back to the beer in his hand.

Cas took the bottle from Dean's hand and placed it back on the table. "Dean, listen to me. I will never abandon you. Not as long as you want me to stay. But you have to accept that I'm who I am, what I am. Back home, I spend half my time not understanding what you want. You speak in riddles. You're constant use of movie and other references are as foreign to me as Shakespeare is to you. It's confusing, especially when all you do is roll your eyes instead of explaining what you mean. You make me feel like the angel part of me isn't welcome in your life, yet here it seems that you think Castiel is some damn hero and all you think I'm good for is to be your housewife."

Dean knew Cas was right. Back home it was like they spoke two different languages, but here; here they understood each other. Cas could see past the self-defense mechanisms and the masks. Here he could take off the damn masks. "It's not about what you are here. It's about me. I like who I am here. Hell, I accept you for everything you are, or aren't." Dean smiled at the memory of how flustered he could make the angel by using obscene sexual or movie references he knew Cas didn't get. He couldn't deny that he did a lot of it because he found Cas' reaction kind of funny. Maybe even cute, if he were to be honest about it.

He looked back up at the angel and continued. "I don't just think of you as useful. You already are one of us; you don't need to play along with any prank war to be family. I already have Sam for that. I don't need another brother; I need you…as is. But back home, I have to be Dean Winchester and Dean Winchester is an ass who pushes everyone away. I have to be tough and hard, it's who I am there." Dean picked the beer back up and took another swallow, turning away from the angel in case he decided to snatch it again.

Cas had finally had enough of this. He suddenly felt like the ass for making Dean feel bad about himself when all it really amounted to was him being jealous of Castiel. These stupid human emotions were irritating. "Well, in that case, I think what we're dealing with is an identity crisis." He looked over at the book lying on the table and had an idea. "I think Maggie may have inadvertently given us the answer to that." This was so beyond chick flick status that he almost lost his nerve, but at the very least Dean would think it was funny. He hesitated a moment, looking Dean in the eyes with the most serious face he could manage at the moment. "Deny thy father and refuse thy name; or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, and I'll no longer be a Capulet."

Dean almost spit out the beer he was drinking. He swallowed quickly trying very hard not to laugh. "Dude, you really have that crap memorized?"

Cas did laugh. "Yeah, don't be too impressed. Shakespeare was a prophet. So, knowing this crap, as you call it, is sort of in my job description."

"Prophet, really? Who knew?" Dean shrugged. He'd heard weirder things. "Well Juliet, don't stop on my account. You were saying?"

Cas took the beer out of Dean's hand once again and sat it on the table, crawling over to him and straddling his lap. He looked Dean straight in the eye and let his expression soften to one of quiet adoration. "That which we call a rose, by any other name would be as sweet; so Romeo would, were he not Romeo called, retain that dear perfection which he owes without that title. Romeo, doff thy name; and for that name which is no part of thee, take all myself."

Dean easily pushed Cas over and climbed on top of him, undoing buttons and placing kisses on his chest as he worked his way down. "Keep talking like that and you can call me whatever the hell you want."

"So, you like Shakespeare all of a sudden?" Cas' voice cracked, just a little when Dean lightly flicked his tongue over Cas' bare nipple then continued to move lower.

"I like it when my angel is the one reciting it."

"So, I'm your angel now?"

* * *

"Angel?" Castiel didn't have to turn around to know exactly who was standing behind him. The all too familiar voice sent an icy chill down his spine.

"You killed all my pets." Dean looked down at Jerrie's lifeless body and nudged it slightly with his boot. "Even my favorite one. Well damn angel, who am I supposed to play with now?" Castiel still refused to turn around. He knew the vision he would face the instant he turned and it was the last thing he ever wanted to see. Instead he closed his eyes, hoping he could will the other person away, but no such luck. "Daddy send you back to raise me from perdition again?" He laughed and moved closer. "You may find I won't come so willingly this time. I think I like it here."

Castiel remained silent, still not daring to turn around and face the nightmare that he knew was standing there. Rob's words echoed in his head, _'You gonna be able to follow your own orders?'_ over and over again like a mocking child.

"Are you giving me the silent treatment, angel?" The pouting tone of the words broke Castiel from his thoughts. "Most people know better than turn their backs on me. I don't like being ignored, usually ends bloody."

Castiel slowly turned around. "You don't possess any weapon that could harm me, Dean." As soon as he looked into Dean's eyes, he knew the words he'd just spoken were complete lies. The black and green orbs that once shown as bright as the closest stars, holding him in constant awe of the man who wore them, were now cold and dead, reflecting a darkness more deadly than any weapon known to heaven or earth.

"Oh, it's you." Dean's wide smile revealed slightly sharpened teeth. His skin was pale and dirty, his eyes dark and cheekbones sunken, yet his posture held the undeniable confidence of someone rarely challenged. "Old gray eyes. Never thought I'd see you again."

"Again?" Castiel was unsure why Dean seemed unsurprised by his eye color. He'd been very careful not to be seen when he'd visited the other reality. "I think you may be confusing me with the blue-eyed angel. If you really knew me, you'd not be smiling."

"Really angel, are you that stupid?" Dean flashed another toothy grin, enjoying the way Castiel visible flinched and stared at them. He slowly ran his tongue over the sharp edges to draw even more attention from the angel before laughing. "Yeah, I guess you always were a little short on common sense." Dean put a finger to his mouth and cocked his head in thought. "It's always intrigued me, how you could be so intelligent, yet so damn stupid at the same time."

Dean took a step forward and leaned into Castiel's neck, running his nose along the slope, inhaling deeply. Castiel leaned away, but the pure shock of this Dean's sudden appearance made him unable to move very far. "Ah, smells like smoked angel." He ran his tongue along Castiel's neck. "Tastes like one, too."

The aura of pure hatred radiating off the man, snapped Castiel into action. He forcefully pushed him back, causing Dean to lose his balance and collapse onto one on the mutated corpses that littered the street. Castiel wiped the saliva off his neck with his coat sleeve and scowled. "You are disgusting. I suggest you remain on the ground among your own kind." When Dean started to untangle himself from the body, Castiel put his hand out in warning. "Stay down, or I will have no choice except to destroy you." Slowly he was regaining his composure, the initial shock wearing off.

Dean slowly stood up, his eyes never leaving Castiel's. "Will you really, angel?" Dean laughed as he moved closer. When Dean was in reach, Castiel placed two fingers to his forehead, hoping to simply put him to sleep, but nothing happened. He lowered his hand and took a step back, staring in astonishment.

Dean kept advancing, nothing except amusement on his face. "Either you just tried to heal me, or your mojo isn't quite up to par. Same old Castiel; all talk and absolutely no follow through."

Castiel took another step back. "I will kill you Dean. Don't touch me again."

"Sure you will." Dean winked and moved forward anyway, smirking at the anxiety he saw in Castiel's usually stoic features as the angel kept inching backwards. Once Castiel's retreat was blocked by an abandoned car, Dean reached out a hand to his chest and pulled him forward by his tie. "You know what gets me through the cold, lonely nights now, angel?" He didn't wait for a response. "It's remembering how you moaned my name over and over, begging me to fuck you. You wanted me, angel. Wouldn't take no for an answer."

Castiel could feel the panic slowly rising in his chest. Months of work, shielding himself from further hurt had all been undone by one look into the eyes of the man he'd failed so many times. His greatest sin and regret stood before him and he was powerless in his presence. "Dean, please…"

Dean's eyes widened in exaggerated excitement. "Yeah, that's how I remember it. So polite when you're all needy." Dean was all but on top of the angel now, his fingers working on the buttons of his collar. He rolled his hips into Castiel and breathed into his neck. "I love hearing you beg." Teeth suddenly clamped down on Castiel's throat and thick liquid ran down his neck, staining the white collar.

The abrupt pain snapped Castiel into action and his right fist made contact with Dean's jaw, sending him sprawling backwards. In an instant Castiel sprang at him, lifting him by his throat and slamming him into the old, abandoned car with enough force to leave a dent in the hood. He took a step back, his breath was heavy and hands shaking.

Dean stood back up, as if he'd been hit by a toddler instead of an all-powerful being and adjusted himself, before looking back up to the angel, a smile still on his face. "Well damn, sweetheart. I think you're trying to turn me on." He slowly moved his eyes up and down Castiel's form, whistling his approval. "I have to say, the blue-eyed version was a fun time and all, but I always did like my meat with a little more spice."

Castiel again pushed Dean's advancing form away from him, knocking him to the ground. "I don't want to hurt you. Why won't you stop?"

* * *

Dean stood up and smiled down at his angel.

Cas huffed and rolled his eyes up towards Dean. "Why are you stopping?" Cas asked the question with unmasked disappointment in his tone. "If this is about hurting me again, I will smite you myself, powers or not."

Dean ignored the insincere threat. "Trust me, I'm not stopping anything." He held his hand out to the angel, who accepted the offering. Dean smiled as he pulled Cas up from the couch. "Perfect, remember?" He really did want their first time to be perfect. It was sappy and romantic, but for once he just didn't care. He just wanted to make the damn angel happy.

Dean's smile and the slight shine of his eyes melted whatever doubt remained. Cas could barely remember a time when he didn't want this, when he didn't crave Dean's affection, his caress, his warmth, his smile.

Cas let Dean lead him down the short hall way and into a dim bedroom. The only light coming from a small lamp in the corner. There was a dresser against one wall decorated with more family photographs and large mirror hung above it.

Dean wasn't interested in the casual decorations, only the man beside him. He grinned at Cas' curiosity, but commanded his attention by backing him slowly onto the navy bedspread that covered the bed and gently pushed him down, crawling over him, suddenly lost in the idea of what was about to happen. How could it be real? He'd wanted this for so long, but never thought his secret wish could ever come true. He thought he'd take it to his grave, never realized. But here they are, and Cas wanted him too. Good things don't happen, not to him.

"Dean." Cas pulled Dean from his thoughts with a gentle caress to his cheek. "You do realize that I'm not the most patient being on the planet." Cas smiled and tilted his head slightly, very concerned over Dean's hesitation.

Dean pulled himself together and cocked his eyebrow. "Maybe it's time for you to learn some patience, angel."

A low, throaty growl emitted from Cas as he grabbed the back of Dean's neck, pulling him down until their bodies were pressed tightly together. Cas covered Dean's lips with his own in a slow, soft kiss before lifting Dean's chin to force their eyes to meet. "You can teach me patience tomorrow."

Dean's hesitation all but vanished in light of Cas' new found enthusiasm. He sat up and pulled the black, cotton t-shirt over his head and tossed it to the floor. His eyes moved over the form below him; the tight, lean muscles of his chest, the soft pink of his lips, the slight stubble of his jaw, the bright blue of his eyes. His chest started pounding so fiercely that he wondered if Cas could hear it. His panic only rose when gentle fingers slowly moved over his own toned muscles.

"Are you unsure, Dean?" Cas knew that he should be the nervous one, the one on the edge of the panic he clearly saw in Dean's eyes, felt in his strained breathing. "If you have doubts, we can stop. I don't want to hurt you by asking you to do something you don't want to." Cas searched Dean's face for some answer. "Do you want to stop?"

Dean's breathing was getting even heavier. Part of him knew that he was running dangerously close to hyperventilating and needed to calm down. He was scared. Not because he was some trembling, teenage virgin, but because for the first time, he realized this was all too real.

Just two nights ago, all this was so different. But this was more than just sex, more than just something he wanted mostly because he knew he couldn't have it. Cas was his forbidden fruit. But now, everything he wanted was being handed to him; heaven on a silver platter, literally.

This wasn't just a one night stand he could forget about in the morning, not some wet dream he'd eventually wake up from. This was him, handing himself to another person and giving him the power to destroy him. There was no denying that Cas would leave him, zap off somewhere the first chance he got. He always does. Dean wasn't sure he could accept that, not after this.

"Dean, let's go back in the other room and watch the time travel movie. It's okay." Cas sat up on his elbow and stroked Dean's cheek again. "I can tell. You want to stop."

Dean shook his head. "No, I don't." It didn't matter. There was nothing he wanted more. He'd deal with the consequences when they happened.

He pushed the angel back down and placed his lips over the angel's, slightly nipping at the soft flesh of Cas' lower lip. Cas responded with a moan, parting his lips enough to invite Dean to explore, taste, and feel the warmth of his mouth as their tongues danced together.

Cas ran his fingers through the short hair on the back of Dean's neck while bending his knee so Dean could sink lower between his legs. Dean could feel how much Cas was enjoying this and smiled, breaking the kiss. He began placing light kisses down his angel's throat, his hand moving slowly down Cas' torso, stopping at the smooth belt buckle. He looked up, into Cas' eyes, his expression pleading. "You're sure? Once we do this, we can't take it back." The damn fear had returned and he could feel his hand shake. No matter what, he just couldn't let himself believe that Cas would want him.

Cas frowned at Dean, wishing he could mojo all of his doubts away. A lot like Dean, words weren't really his strength. He softened his jaw, but his frustration was still apparent. "Dean Winchester, I want you. I will always want you." He covered the hand that had settled on his belt buckle and gently squeezed it. "Don't you get it? I love you."

* * *

Dean stood up, not bothering to brush the dirt off himself this time. "I won't stop, ever. Because I want to hurt you and this seems to do the trick." Dean laughed at the questioning gaze on the angel's face. "Rule number one Castiel; never let your enemy know your weakness. Two years ago, you made that mistake."

Dean reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out an angel blade. This one was slightly different than the others. It was dull, instead of shiny as though it were old and worn. "I know they all look pretty much alike, but this one is special to me." He turned it over in his hand and eyed it with admiration. "Even more so now, considering the irony of what you and Sam did to me, how you two betrayed me."

Instead of answering the question he knew Castiel was silently asking, he continued. "This is the very same knife that my brother stuck in your chest, all that time ago." He smiled and stared at the angel, waiting for the memories to come flooding in. "Yeah, you remember that? Good times."

Castiel remembered, all too well, how Dean had given him a speech about family and loss while his brother moved in behind him with the blade and stuck it through his back, not his chest. It's a memory, forever burned into his conscious, one he'll never forget. Apparently Dean remembered wrong. "It didn't work then, and it won't work now. I'm not all angel this time either. This world, and the things I've done have changed me."

Dean rolled his eyes and groaned. "Are you really singing that same old, tired verse? Hell, I had you pegged from the jump. There's nothing 'evil' about you, it's all for show. You and I both know it. Though, I have to give credit where credit's due; you are a pretty good actor, but your act didn't fool me then and it doesn't fool me now. You are a flying dick who lies and breaks promises, but you're not evil. You don't have the balls for it, angel."

"Dean, Sam is still alive here. Rob has gone to get him. We can fix this; we can fix you, if you'll let us. It doesn't have to be this way." He'd tried reasoning with the 'changed' before and it never worked. They became creatures beyond reason and he knew it. Still, he had to try.

Dean stopped his approach and cocked his head in thought, then snapped his eyes straight back to Castiel's. "I got some news for you, sweetheart." His grin widened and his eyes seem to brighten. "I'm not broken." He laughed before continuing. "And yeah, I know Sam is here, along with Robbie; The Three Musketeers. The only thing standing in the way of your perfect word is me, the expendable one." His grin turned into a scowl. "Well, I've got some advice for you both: Anytime either one of you is convinced you're doing the right thing; chances are you're just gonna fuck things up even more. You're both incapable of doing the right thing."

"Dean, Sam and I would never do anything to purposely hurt you. You have to know that. We are all here, we can work this out." Castiel was practically pleading with the man in front of him.

But Dean wasn't hearing. He rolled his eyes and looked around, the grin returned to his face. "You know what the funniest thing about all this is? You and Sammy made me what I am today." He thought about it a second and his eyes widened with newly found excitement. "And I made you whatever it is you are today. We're like Keaton and Nicholson's Batman and Joker…'I made you, you made me. Blah, blah, blah'. We should dance." Dean grabbed Castiel around the waist with one arm and clasped his other hand to Castiel's, pulling him into an exaggerated tango, knife between their clasped hands. Castiel immediately pulled away, shoving Dean off of himself and glared a silent warning.

Dean pretended to be hurt by the rejection for a brief moment before leaning into Castiel's ear. "Let me ask you angel: You ever danced with the devil in the pale moon light?"

Castiel stared at Dean in horror. He knew this version of Dean could exist. Hell, we was doing everything in his power to prevent it. But seeing it up close, it was beyond his ability to accept. "You're insane."

Dean looked at Castiel in awe, his mouth gaped open in exaggerated shock. "Damn angel, you finally got one right. Good answer." He shook his head and rolled his eyes at Castiel's confused expression. "Never mind, you actually meant it. You don't change do you?"

Castiel hesitantly held his hand out. "Dean, this isn't you. Not really. Please let us help you."

"Help yourself, angel. I don't need either of you. I've done just fine on my own." He studied Castiel's frown and winked. "What? Don't like seeing perfect Dean being all belligerent and naughty? You two think you're the only ones that should have all the fun?" Dean cocked his head and put his arms around Castiel's neck, knife still in hand. "I'm the bad one this time, baby. And damn, it feels good."

Castiel didn't pull away or push Dean aside. Instead he pressed his forehead to Dean's and closed his eyes. "You're a good person Dean. You're not this."

Dean pulled back and ran the blade along the side of Castiel's face hoping for a reaction that never came. "I guess you haven't seen the things I've spent the last year and a half doing." He frowned at the angel's un-moving stature. "Here's a newsflash for those not quite playing with a full happy meal." He moved to Castiel's side and whispered in his ear. "Good people don't mutate."

"Yes they do. Fear, guilt, hurt, anger, they're all things that good people experience. Those things cause mutation regardless of the reasons. We can help you get better." Castiel wondered how long he could keep pretending that he didn't have to do what he knew he would. They couldn't help him, no one could. He wasn't sure why he was dragging out the inevitable.

Dean stared at the knife in his hand again, his eyes hardening as if straining to remember something painful. "This was all that was left. You were gone, but this knife laid on the ground, calling to me. I could hear it telling me to shove it straight through my darling, baby brother's chest. I think he knew what I was thinking. I could see the fear in his eyes when he backed away from me." Dean winced as he caught a glimpse of himself, reflected in the dull metal. "Of course I couldn't do it. He was my brother, after all. I could never… but I didn't stop them from doing what they did to him. I didn't even care, don't care now." He lowered the blade and looked into Castiel's eyes. "You know we're both monsters, angel. You know where all the monsters really disappeared to. You and I alone, know how bad it really is, what we really are. Stop pretending we belong here. Stop pretending there's an easy fix."

Cas nodded. "You're right. We are monsters. Things like us have no place in this world."

"But one of us has to be here." Dean eyed the knife again.

"Yes, for a time, but not forever." Castiel knew exactly where this was going and how it would end. He would give anything to change it.

Dean rolled his eyes to Castiel. "And you're the good guy." He kept his eyes locked on the angel.

Cas closed his eyes, knowing what he had to do. "Then why do I feel like the villain?" He leaned in and pressed his lips to Dean's. Dean exhaled a startled gasp before taking advantage and deepening the kiss, pushing Castiel back against the rusted, old car.

After several long moments, Castiel hesitantly broke the kiss and pulled back, sadness and loss obvious in his blue eyes. Dean stared into them, the color apparently bringing all the anger back to the surface. "You should have kept your promise." He raised the knife and held it against Castiel's neck. "Now, because of you and Sam, one of us has to die."

Castiel gently put a hand over the one Dean had on the knife and his other to the back of Dean's head, softly running his fingers though Dean's short hair. "I know, Dean."

Castiel turned his attention to something off in the distance and nodded, then looked back at Dean. "I love you. I always have."

"We wouldn't be here if you really meant that." The sound of gunfire broke the stillness. A small red hole appeared in the side of Dean's head and suddenly he flickered out of existence as if he'd never even been there.

* * *

Dean turned his eyes from Cas, not sure what to say. "Cas, I…I um…" Dean stammered over the words, fidgeting uncomfortably. He wanted to say them, knew he felt them, but he just couldn't form the simple syllables.

Cas shook his head and grinned as he inched closer to Dean. "Relax, I don't need you to say the words." He pulled Dean down again and ran his hand over Dean's covered length, still half-hard despite the mounting hesitation. "Show me." Cas felt Dean's erection grow as he began massaging it, slowly but firmly. "I want you, Dean. Show me that you want me." Cas wasn't sure what he was doing, but the way Dean's hands clawed into the skin at his side and the soft moans he was making, told him that he must be doing something right.

Dean rolled his hips down into Cas' grip, his mind suddenly void of anything except the friction from the unbelievably effective movements of Cas' hand and the warmth and wetness of his mouth moving over his bare skin, along his neck, down his chest, the soft tongue circling his nipple. "God, keep doing that. Feels so good." A hand started moving below the waist of his jeans and fingers wrapped around him, pumping the shaft and brushing over the sensitive tip.

Dean fought to regain control of his senses before things ended too quickly. He reached down and easily removed Cas' belt. The button and zipper soon followed. "Pull 'em off." As Cas was undressing himself, Dean did the same and kicked them to the floor in a very rushed, ungraceful motion, almost falling over in his hurry.

As soon as they had both untangled themselves from the offending garments, Dean covered Cas in another deep, penetrating kiss. The heat and desire of the moment far overshadowed any doubt about right and wrong, consequences or costs.

Dean reached into the nightstand, somehow knowing he'd find what he needed. He sat up on his knees and poured a small amount into his palm and slowly ran it along the edge of Cas' dick. A gasp escaped Cas' mouth as he arched his back and rolled his hips with Dean's steady motions.

"That's it. I need you to relax for me. Just think about the way my hand moves and nothing else." Dean slowly placed soft kisses down Cas' chest, trying to relax the angel. He very gingerly teased at Cas' opening. Cas immediately tensed at the touch, exactly what Dean expected.

Dean slowed his movements to a stop and looked up at Cas, making eye contact. "You know how this works, right?" He knew Cas had never done this, that everything was new. Even watching porn or reading skin mags, even watching live, doesn't prepare you for the real thing. Angel of the lord or not, knowing and experiencing are two very different things. "You know what I'll have to do, right?"

Cas nodded and ran his hand over Dean's chest. This soft, gentle, caring side of Dean was so rare, especially when it came to him. It was nice to feel cared for, considered even. "Yes." Cas smiled. "I fully understand the mechanics of it…" Dean started to speak again, but Cas quickly kissed his lips to hush him. "And to avoid any further questions, I also realize that it will be somewhat unpleasant at first." He smiled again at the look of concern of Dean's face. "However, since humans have been doing this since the dawn of civilization, I assume there must be certain benefits involved."

Dean grinned. The damn angel and his freakin formality had him conjuring thoughts of cave man orgies, a vision he could have done without. He couldn't stop the quiet laughter that escaped his throat.

Cas looked at Dean, confused. "What is funny?"

"No offense man, but your pillow talk could use some work." Dean smiled. It was one of the things he liked about Cas. It was his uniqueness and seriousness that tended to ground Dean.

"I'm so sorry for my lack of proper verbal etiquette in this situation." He playfully glared at Dean. "How about you just shut up and fuck me before I tape your mouth shut, tie you to this bed, and do it myself." He cocked an eyebrow questioningly and grinned. "That better?"

* * *

Rob stormed out of the tree line, shot gun at his side. "What the hell happened to 'Do Not Engage'?" Sam stood quietly behind him, rifle in hand and very displeased look on his face.

Castiel glared between the two of them, easily noting their judgment of his actions. "Well, I guess it was easier said than done. I would have eventually…" He let the words remain unsaid. Instead he looked at Sam; healthy, normal Sam.

Sam relaxed the grip he had on his rifle and lowered it to the ground. "Hey Cas. I'm glad to see you and all, but what the hell was that about?" He noticed the way Castiel took a deep breath and shifted his gaze away from Sam. Sam shook his head. "You do remember that you have super powers, right?"

"I was going to, but…" For the first time in a long time, Castiel was unsure of everything."

Rob interrupted Castiel's excuse, anger overpowering his usual submissive role. "When? It's a little hard to smite someone when their tongue's down your throat."

Castiel huffed and straightened himself. "Dean tends to have an unusual effect on my ability to rationalize."

Sam cocked his eyebrow at Castiel and smirked. "So nothing ever changes then. Good to know."

"Shut up Sam, or I will put you back to sleep just for the sake of peace and quiet. I've had to put up with your brother's sarcasm for the past few days. I have no patience left for yours."

"Now is that any way to talk to the guy who just saved your ass?" Sam folded his arms over his chest and waited for Castiel to reply.

"You did that?" Castiel thought Rob had taken the shot.

"You don't think Robbie could have made that shot, do you?" Sam dropped the smile and hardened his features. "All kidding aside Cas, why the hell did I just have to make that shot? I mean, what the hell?"

Castiel suddenly felt even more guilt on top of the guilt he already felt. "I'm sorry, Sam. I thought Rob would be the one. You of all people should know that the last thing I want to do is hurt your brother…or you."

Sam shook his head. "No offense, but I've been accused of, and I quote, 'being psychotically, co-dependent' on the guy and even I know that wasn't my brother. If Dean were here, he would have taken the shot."

"Oh god help us all if he'd seen the way the other him was touching 'his' angel. We'd all feel the wrath of Dean. Probably been shot just for witnessing it." Rob interjected, shaking his head. Finally having had enough.

Sam laughed. "What Rob, did Dean catch you trying to touch his angel?"

Rob huffed at Sam. "No, Jerrie just implied it and he went all…"

"Stop it. The both of you. None of this is funny." Castiel stepped between them, his patience gone.

Seeing Castiel's frustration suddenly reminded Sam that Cas was still really Cas. He liked it. Maybe he hadn't failed his brother after all. "Don't worry Cas. We won't tell Dean how you were molesting his evil twin." He waited for Cas to scold him for the comment, but was met with silence, so he dropped it. "Look, I haven't seen Dean in almost two years. How about we clean up this mess and then you take me to see my big brother."

_AN: Thanks for reading. I hope you like the story. I referenced the 1989 Batman movie instead of the newer one because I think it would be the one Dean would reference. It's from the era he seems to reference a lot. If you haven't seen it, go watch it. I loved the bell tower scene near the end. That's where the reference comes from. Again, thanks for reading._


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